He Could Have Said He Was Sorry  

CandyKissBaby 61F
1919 posts
5/25/2006 9:27 am

Last Read:
6/4/2006 8:48 pm

He Could Have Said He Was Sorry

After making the last entry about trying not to complain... Well, you guessed it, I do have something that is bugging me. My hubby bought me a small greenhouse for Mother's Day. I've wanted one for years, since I grow my own flowers & veggie plants for the garden. Of course, it has to be put together. No problem, I'm used to putting things together. It wasn't that hard or heavy for me to assembly... just the directions sucked! All these parts & pieces that have to go together & hardly any pics to show which way was up. I figure I'm smarter then the equipment, so I kept at it, till I found where all the extra parts went.

If you are wondering why I'm putting together a greenhouse the last of May... well, I wanted to make sure all the parts were there to assemble it. I didn't want to wait till next spring, when I really need it & find out I don't have part 36 or 49.

Ok, I shouldn't bore you anymore & get to my rant, huh? I do have a plastic mini greenhouse I've used the last several years & it's about shot. I set it up to put my plants in this year, just because I needed something to put them in outside. I have some nice looking tomato & pepper plants, plus some herbs for my herb garden. In all, I may have 8 flats of plants... which is small compared to most years. I usually have that greenhouse packed with flats of flowers as well as veggie plants. I always grew enough flats of flowers to fill my beds as well as give my mom enough for her flowers beds too. It was probably the first time hubby has looked in that greenhouse all spring... but since I had hm out there, helping me square up the new greenhouse... Well, he wasn't very happy when he seen how few plants were out there. What! Where are the cantaloupe plants & the zucchini & the cucumbers, the broccoli & cauliflower plants? Now, I do have some nice broccoli & cauliflower plants & he should be lucky I started any plants at all. My eyes started to tear up as I tried to tell him my heart just wasn't into it this year. I couldn't bring myself to start all those flower seeds I bought & it was quite a struggle for me to kept the other plants going. With mom gone, it just seemed I didn't have it in me this year.

I wanted hubby to hug me & tell me he was sorry, that it was ok & that he understood.

candykiss XoXo

(I love you Mom & I miss you so very much!)

beamer52up 64M

5/25/2006 10:01 pm


I am just now getting a sense of how deep your loss was. It has to hurt everyday. Activities that you may have done with her or things that make you think of her have to be difficult. I'm sorry that your husband did not react the way you would have liked.

Does he really understand how you are feeling? Have you talked about it with him. Sometimes you may expect him to behave in certain manner and you get upset that he doesn't. Maybe he just doesn't realize what it is he should have done.

I believe many of my marital problems were the result of my wife expecting me to behave a certain way or expecting me to think a certain way but I had no clue. When my behavior did not meet her expectations in many instances she became very hurt. But I did not realize what I had done anything wrong.

I used to tell my wife that I can't read her mind. If there is something that I should be aware of she needs to tell me. Her position usually was I should have known. But I didn't.

It's too late for me, I think as far a my marriage goes but you should make sure that you over comunicate with your husband on everything. Over communicating is way better than under communicating. Of course that is if you want to.

playtime44uandi 53M
6545 posts
5/26/2006 3:52 pm

I'm sure there will always be little things that will constantly remind you of your mother. It just cant be helped. & many of them will change the way you live for sometime. I can certainly understand how you dont have it in you to do everything this year that you would usually do. But I think it could be helpfull if you try to stay busy with as many of those things as you can.
I'm guessing that that was the point your husband was trying to get at. Sometimes the way things are said are whats wrong.
If it helps, here is that hug you wanted!


~We'll Leave The Light On~

tech4food 53M

6/3/2006 7:26 am

I have lost both of my parents. I have never found myself since, so I understand. You do have alot of ups and downs, and some of them will seem longer then they should be. My Dad passed in 2000, and I still have moments.

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