An Awful Feeling  

CandyKissBaby 60F
1919 posts
8/10/2005 9:22 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

An Awful Feeling

It is an awful feeling when someone close to you is sick, or has health problems. It is even worse when it is a parent.

My mom, who just turned 69 the beginning of this month, is having heart problems which is causing breathing trouble... congestive heart failure caused by a fibrillation in her heart. In the last few years, she has been through a bypass or 2, carotid artery surgery & valve replacement surgery. She has had several difficulty breathing attacks, but nothing this sever. I feel helpless because I can't do anything to fix it. I'm worried because I know the extra weight has been hard on her heart. Maybe I should have given her more support to stick to her diet & take better care of herself. I don't know, would she have listened?


Parrothead_2001 52M

8/10/2005 4:53 pm

My father was in Hospise care for 6 months before dying from emphazima. I know that helpless feeling. It sucks. He had smoked for 50 years. It's been 6 years and it's still hard to talk about it. That said, each of us lives with our choices in life. You can not hold yourself to blame for your mother's weight. You can spend as much time with her as you life allows right now. Best wishes


rm_adultmusic 60M

8/10/2005 8:10 pm

Oh Candy! Doesn't it just break your heart. Our parents were always there for us, and now they're old and we can't seem to repay all the time, energy, kleenex, hot soup...and all that. My mother, too, is not well. I guess we are all getting old. I'll have your Mom in my thoughts...(you too!)

rm_akaDonut 43M/52F

8/11/2005 7:13 am

My father-in-law died about 2 weeks ago. He had cancer, but the cancer was only an indirect cause of his death. He was responding well to Chemo and had gone to his office to open it up in the morning (he had owned his own business for years). He always showed up long before any of his employees. Anyway, he sat down to open up his e-mail and passed away. A tumor on the wall of one of his major blood vessels had come lose and blocked the vessel. He died when the blood flow was cut off to his brain. We all count it a blessing that this vital man went without suffering a long and painful fight with lung cancer. At his age chances were not good for a happy outcome. He was spared his pride and saved from his fears of suffering with illness as he had watched others do in the past.

He had smoked heavily until about 15 years ago - when he quit for 7 or 8 years. Then, One day he decided to start smoking again. No one knows why he made this decision. All we know is if he wanted to do something he would - no matter who warned against it.

I can not express how this makes me value my own parents more than ever before. I loved my father-in-law with respect and almost a sense of wonder at what a person can accomplish starting with most indicators of success not in his favor. I will miss the man and I will definitely spend more time with my own parents.

This is a heavy subject and I will quit before I force myself to think too much!


CandyKissBaby 60F

8/11/2005 7:26 pm

thank you so much guys... you are really sweet & wonderful. i know the day will come when i lose my parents, & i only hope i get as much support at home that you guys have given me here. i am sorry for your loss S457man, Parrothead & donut... & for your mom adultmusic. it really warms my heart when a few strangers can make me so much better in the face of all this. you guys are truly super!


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