"See You On The Other Side"  

CandyKissBaby 61F
1919 posts
8/24/2005 8:48 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

"See You On The Other Side"

I got one of those early morning calls I always hate, the ones where someone close to you is in trouble or hurt or sick or just needs you. It was my brother, who told me mom was going to the ER again & could I please meet him at the hospital, so he wouldn't have to wait it out alone, since my dad won't go anymore, which may be for the better, since he always seems to say the wrong things to the doctors, which just makes my mom really mad & that doesn't help her condition. So I showered &
headed to the hospital. It seemed like such a long drive, much longer than it usually takes. My mind was going in a million different directions, images of other loved ones who have passed on griping my thoughts, all the while, trying to pay attention to my driving so as not to have an accident.

Finally, I meet my brother, & I find my mom in an ER room with all the tubes & monitors needed to watch her condition. She looked so pale, & I felt pretty helpless... not being able to do anything other than help make her as comfortable as I could. I'll never be able to forget the look as our eyes meet when I walked into the room. I only hope she seen & felt the love I have for her & not all the worry & sadness I was feeling. I already know why she came here, she is bleeding internally from an ulcer (or so they think), this brought about by her taking blood thinners to keep her from getting a blood clot & having a stroke... 2 weeks ago they found her heart in atrial fibrillation, (meaning the heart's two small upper chambers [the atria] quiver instead of beating effectively. Blood isn't pumped completely out of them, so it may pool and clot. If a piece of a blood clot in the atria leaves the heart and becomes lodged in an artery in the brain, a stroke results).

The staff at the hospital is wonderful, trying to keep us informed as to what they find out about mom, answering any questions we have. I was relieved when the doctor says they would keep her... I feared them sending her home, without much treatment other than some pills she was to take & telling her to rest & call her doctor if she got worse. Past experiences die hard. I know how serious internal bleeding could be, but until they find out where she is bleeding, it is a waiting game for us, while they do the tests, monitor her & give her more blood transfusions... thank god for the blood donors! I can't believe how stressful waiting can be or how long a day seems. Finally she told us to go home, so she could try and sleep... we know she felt she couldn't sleep knowing we were there with her.

While driving home from the hospital ... I heard Ozzy Osbourne singing 'See You On The Other Side'... talk about major chills running up & down my whole body. Thinking about it makes me tear-up & want to cry, especially after I got home & I was telling my hubby about mom. I expected some comfort & a big hug... what I got was him telling me he felt her time was almost over, like she was used up & at the end of her time. I looked at him & told him, I didn't want to hear any of that kind of talk now. this sin't the first time I had heard such negative words spoken while mom was in the hospital.

I know she isn't going to live forever, but to me his remarks were dashing all hope I had & giving up on my mom, who has such a feisty spirit & a stubborn will to live, that when the doctors asked her if she had a living will, she said "hell no, you better do everything you can to keep me alive" She isn't ready to cash in her chips on life just yet! I refuse to think or hear those awful negative thoughts of her dying.

abmale1962 55M/52F
28 posts
8/24/2005 10:30 am

Stay the course! You and your family are in our prayers.

satnitespecl 59M
1293 posts
8/24/2005 3:34 pm

Hey hon I know how you feel watching your parents getting sick really sucks. All I can say is stay with her she she will appreciate it more than she can say. Its an odd coincidence cause spent the entire weekend worrying about a friend who had a stroke on Fri and it took us till Sun to get him to go to the hospital. I almost emailed you cause I was just going crazy worrying about him and I couldn't understand what he was thinking. Somehow I believe you will be there for her to keep her spirits high.

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