According to maverick1255, my Cake Personality reveals:
"Lemon Meringue - Smooth, sexy and articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many friends."
Scarily accurate, apart from the fact that I'd never try and chew gum any time, let alone while doing something else. I'm so poor at multi-tasking, you know, that I forget to talk during phone sex if my hands are busy....
Now, before that distracts you completely, don't forget to check out my blog (especially those filthy, filthy stories ) ...
Oh, and if you're thinking about sex, please read Just fucking fuck me, already.. It encapsulates my thoughts and wishes very clearly.
This is a drama-free zone. Fakes, multiprofilers and people who write nasty comments about other people will not find a forum here.
Richard opened the door to find Mandy sauntering downstairs, naked as usual, with a man in tow. He recognised Luigi from the last time they met, on his birthday. His dick stirred slightly at the memory.
She was delighted to see him. “Darling, look who dropped by”. Luigi grinned at him, and Richard could see from his smile that he was also remembering the last time they met.
Mandy went through to the kitchen and poured a glass of wine for the three of them. Richard kissed her deeply and loosened his tie. Luigi, clad only in Calvin Kleins, perched on a bar stool.
Judging by her flushed face, Richard reckoned Mandy and Luigi had just finished screwing. That would give him a few moments to get changed and have a shower, at the very least. Even Mandy needed a break sometimes. He went upstairs.
Towelling his hair dry after his shower, he walked into the bedroom. Mandy was there, setting up the video camera, trained on the bed. Interesting. He snaked an arm around her waist from behind and kissed her hair. “What are you up to, you little minx?” he grinned. His hard-on poked into her rear optimistically.
“Just you wait and see”, she promised teasingly, and separated herself from his arms.
Ten minutes later, he went downstairs, and found Mandy and Luigi deep in conversation. They were clearly plotting something. He picked up his wineglass and took a drink. A nicely chilled Chablis. He hoped Luigi didn’t mind the non-Italian wine.
Mandy suggested they go up to the bedroom, where she would explain to them what she had in mind. They dutifully followed her upstairs, both admiring her gorgeous arse on the stairs ahead of them.
She lay on her back, legs hanging over the bottom of the bed, arms stretched above her head. They watched her hungrily. Luigi wore only his Calvin Kleins, while Richard was still in his post-shower dressing gown. He felt at a disadvantage. She smiled, enjoying the power she had over them both.
“Richard, I’ve wanted to feel you between my thighs all day. Come and see how wet I am”. He slipped off his robe and moved towards the bed, intending to climb on top of her to kiss her. She stopped him with her hand, and pushed him backwards to kneel on the footstool at the end of the bed, moving herself right to the edge of the bed, so he would be able to slip inside her from there.
It was clear that the camera was trained on them at this spot. Mandy had the remote control attached to a handheld screen, and was concentrating on zooming in on them. She obviously wanted to watch the action as well as experience it.
Richard lifted her buttocks and slid between her thighs into her wet pussy, which gripped his cock. He was about to start moving inside her when she whispered in his ear.
“Remember your birthday, Richard?” He groaned longingly. Of course he remembered his birthday. You don’t generally forget the first time you get fucked by another man. “Remember what that felt like? The way you came? Would you like it again, while you’re inside me at the same time?” she whispered seductively.
He closed his eyes, resting his forehead on her shoulder. This, of course, was why Luigi was in the room. He nodded dumbly. God, two very different sorts of orgasms combined. His cock leapt at the very thought.
To his rear, he felt Luigi stand between his buttocks and rub some lube into his arse. He jumped: it was the first time he had actually felt the other man’s fingers at his hole. They circled round and again as Richard gradually relaxed, forcing himself to breathe evenly. He concentrated on remembering the fantastic feeling last time.
Instead of the vibrator, Richard felt Luigi’s fingers slip inside him one by one, as he stretched him. All the time, his own dick stirred inside Mandy. He would not move inside her until he felt Luigi inside him. In the meantime, he kissed her and ran his hands over her body. He had missed her all day.
Soon he felt Luigi’s cock press insistently against him, demanding entrance. He consciously relaxed, enjoying the feeling as it gradually slipped inside him. He groaned, determined that this time he would not come so soon, not until Mandy had come first. It was going to be hard to keep that promise, he could tell. The feeling up his arse was intense and pleasurable. Part memory and part sensation.
Luigi held his thighs and began to rock gently, rubbing up inside him. Richard began to do the same to Mandy. Soon, they settled on a rhythm that clicked. Richard bent down to suck Mandy’s nipples. Given how he felt, he was going to have to make her come soon, if he was not going to embarrass himself.
Mandy was looking at the screen in her hand. She had focussed on Luigi pushing in and out of Richard’s arse. She showed it to Richard. “Look at that, baby. He’s fucking you senseless while you’re up inside me”. Richard groaned and pushed the screen away. He did not need to be reminded of how good it was. He could feel it for himself. He concentrated on what he was doing to Mandy, trying to ignore the sensation in his arse. It was not easy.
Clearly, Mandy was turned on by the idea of Luigi fucking him. Equally, he knew she liked it up the arse herself.
An idea came to him.
Reaching behind him, he put a hand on Luigi’s thigh, motioning him to stop moving. To concentrate on Mandy, he’d have to stop Luigi stimulating him further. The Italian soon got the hint, and stood still, his hands on Richard’s buttocks.
Richard ran his fingers around the base of Mandy’s breast. He took his finger back, licked the end of it, then ran it gently over her nipple. He knew the cold feeling would really turn her on. She gasped quietly and strained upwards, encouraging him to do the same with her other breast. He leaned forward and whispered to her, flicking just under the base of her ear with his tongue.
“I reckon you’re jealous, actually”. He pointed to the screen. “That’s why you want to watch. You made a mistake, didn’t you, baby? You want him up your arse really”. He rocked gently into her as he spoke. He could see her start to flush, eyes tightly closed as she tried to visualise it. He was close to the mark, and his words were certainly having their intended effect.
“Shall I tell you how good it is, baby?” he taunted her, still moving inside her. She was starting to breathe raggedly. He could see she was teetering, only needing something to trigger her orgasm. “Just think, Mandy. You could have had his cock up your arse, with mine here. We’d have been rubbing up against each other inside you”. God, that was a hot idea – he could feel that Luigi thought so to, as he suddenly lost control and started to thrust inside Richard, snorting heavily.
Whether it was the words, or Luigi’s obvious need to come, he didn’t know, but almost immediately he felt his own orgasm start. Underneath him, Mandy finally succumbed with a loud groan. “Oh God … I want you … I’m coming … I want him too … fuck me harder baby”. She pushed her hips forward frantically.
Richard wanted to grind himself into Mandy’s pussy as her muscles squeezed his cock. At the same time, he wanted to push backwards into Luigi, to feel his cock even deeper inside him. He groaned in pleasurable frustration. Luigi, maybe sensing his need, or just responding to his own, thrust deeply into him with a cry.
Shit, all three of them coming together, sweaty bodies bumping against each other. A veritable fuck-frenzy. The sensations were so mixed and rapid that it was difficult to fix any particular image in his mind.
Later on, as they lay exhausted on the bed, Mandy in the middle of them, so they could both lightly stroke her breasts, she smiled lazily at them. “Well, that’ll be a fun home video to watch sometime. Shame I somehow managed to zoom in so far I never even managed to film anybody’s head!”
As if any of the three of them were interested in anyone’s head.
Mandy dropped her bag on the bed, walked to the French windows and flung them wide. The shutters outside were already open, giving an uninterrupted view down their private stretch of beach to the sparkling blue sea.
“How cool is this?” she exclaimed in surprise. Richard dropped his jacket, and stood behind her, his arms round her waist, admiring the view. Not a bad choice of holiday location.
The studio was simple but elegant. A bedroom, a bathroom, and – outside – a patio with loungers, which led directly onto the sand. A matter of seconds to the water’s edge, and no- one else in sight.
They heard the sound of voices from the neighbouring patio and peered out. A couple waved at them cheerfully. “Hi there – isn’t this just neat?” The woman lying on the lounger was American, blonde and almost naked. She clearly liked to soak up the rays. Her olive-skinned male partner looked European.
Judging by his build, he liked to work out. Judging by the amount of oil on him, he also liked to look good. Mandy squeezed Richard’s hand, and they sauntered over to introduce themselves.
The holiday was getting better and better.
Over the next few days, Mandy and Richard spent a lot of time with Carmen and Pierre, who turned out to be French. They went out for meals together and even moved the sun loungers around, so that all four were on one patio, while they talked, read, slept or ate.
Pierre could whip up a mean salade niçoise and mayonnaise. Mandy liked to watch his hands as he beat the eggs with slow, deliberate movements. If the mayonnaise was anything to go by, he’d be impressive in bed.
Lying on her front, face rested on her forearms, her eyes hidden by her dark sunglasses, she also secretly watched Carmen. Her body was oiled and smooth. It looked like she probably shaved her pubic hair, though that was the only part of her under wraps. Mandy was itching to see more, brazilian or not.
“Honey, would you do my back?” Carmen passed her bottle of sun lotion over to Mandy, who immediately stood up, putting her sunglasses on top of her head. Oh yes, she was more than happy to do Carmen’s back. And her front, too, if the offer came up. Richard looked up from his book and winked at Mandy. He knew what she was thinking.
Mandy stood astride Carmen’s sun lounger and bent forward to reach her back. Arse up in the air, her tits hung loose, and wobbled as she moved up and down Carmen’s back with long, firm strokes. Murder on her own back, but a great way to present a good view.
Even without turning his head, Richard could sense Pierre’s interest. Another one covertly watching from behind dark glasses.
“Mmmmm, you’re really good at that, doll”, murmured Carmen, encouraging Mandy to oil her legs. She smiled as she knelt behind the sun lounger and ran a hand up the back of one leg, then the other, before using both hands on each leg in turn to rub in the lotion. She casually flipped her thumbs inside Carmen’s bikini line as she stroked. No reaction, except maybe a slight opening of the legs, to give her better access.
Carmen rolled over onto her back, and smiled down at Mandy. “Mind doing my front as well? I know it’s being lazy, but I think you’re a born masseuse”. Mandy was happy to oblige. As Mandy’s hands rubbed firmly over Carmen’s tits in a circular movement, bringing her thumb and palms together, Carmen’s erect nipples could hardly be ignored. Mandy continued to massage her enthusiastically, and again slipped her fingers just inside her bikini line as she moved on to the legs.
For three more days, the scene was repeated, stoking Mandy’s desire higher and higher. Carmen never removed her glasses while the lotion was being put on, leaving Mandy unclear as to what response she could expect if she made a move.
“Looks like today is your lucky day, baby”, whispered Richard as they walked over on the fourth day. She looked at him, puzzled, until he nodded discreetly towards their destination.
Carmen’s sunbathing today was obviously going to be entirely in the nude.
“Wow, bald as a coot. I knew it!” Mandy sighed appreciatively. She stopped for a second to drop her own bikini thong onto the sand, then popped it in her bag. “Honey”, she said anxiously to Carmen, as they arrived, “you’re going to get really burned down there if you don’t watch it. I’d better rub plenty of cream in”.
Carmen grinned, lay on her back and spread her legs wide, lifting her sunglasses to wink broadly. “You rub in exactly what you want, baby. The more cream the better”.
Mandy needed no further invitation.
Pierre handed Richard a bottle of cold beer and they wandered down to the sea shore in silence. Pierre lit a cigarette and blew the smoke out to sea.
“So”, said Richard casually, watching the horizon, “is Carmen trying to corrupt Mandy?”
The Frenchman looked sideways at him as he took another drag and exhaled. “Would zat be a problem?”
Richard laughed, and kicked a shell into the water. “I’d consider it more of a miracle, actually. You see, Mandy’s doing her best to corrupt Carmen”. The two men grinned at each other and turned their heads towards the patio.
The girls had obviously stopped pretending. All they could see was one shape, Mandy on top of Carmen. Judging by the squeals and laughter reaching the shore, they were having a good time. “Oh God, that’s good. Yes, touch me there. That’s heavenly. Ooh”.
It was impossible to tell who was saying what, but the action was equally shared. Each had her face buried between the thighs of the other.
Pierre turned back up the beach. “It would be impolite not to enjoy ze show zey are putting on, non?” They walked back to the patio. Pierre went into the studio and came out with a couple of condom foils, nonchalantly throwing one over to Richard.
They both sat down on one of the unoccupied loungers, heads cocked to one side to get a better view.
Mandy was soon aware of their presence. She lifted her body and head slightly, reaching her pointed tongue down to Carmen’s snatch, to give them a better view. It was like watching a snake slither up on its unsuspecting prey. Except this prey was certainly not unsuspecting. It could not really be called prey, actually, given the enthusiasm with which Carmen bucked her hips to receive Mandy’s tongue.
Pierre moved to the end of the girls’ lounger, so he could watch Carmen alternately slide her tongue up into Mandy’s fanny and then wetly lick her clitoris. He had an unobstructed view of Mandy’s pussy and her rear, and soon licked his finger, before leaning forward to slip it into her arse.
She gasped in surprise, clenching slightly for a brief moment, sighing as he started to move his finger in and out. She started to swing her hips in time. Up onto Pierre’s finger, down onto Carmen’s tongue.
Pierre looked over at Richard. “’Ow much do you want to fuck Carmen?”
“About as much as you want to fuck Mandy, I should imagine”, Richard replied coolly. He reached forward and lifted Mandy’s chin. “Sorry, baby, you’ve got to stop now”, she looked up in disappointment. “Time to move on”.
He pulled his trunks down and off in one easy move, so she could see how hard he was. She grinned, and stood up. Pierre removed his finger from her arse and held her at the hips against him, so she could feel his erection on her bottom.
Richard reached forward with a smile to offer Carmen his hand. She sat up willingly and led him into the studio. There were two beds in the studio, a double and a single. He laid her down across the width of the single, putting a pillow under her hips, so that she was roughly at the right height for him. Mandy had certainly creamed her thoroughly: Carmen was absolutely dripping.
She sighed contentedly as he slid his length inside her without preamble.
Pierre led Mandy round to the other side of the bed, and bent her forwards. Not only was he going to take her from behind, it was clear he wanted her to bend over Carmen, so the two girls could continue to fondle each other.
She squealed with pleasure as he slipped himself between her thighs.
With Pierre supporting her weight by holding her waist, Mandy had two hands free. One fondled Carmen’s breasts, constantly tweaking and circling her nipples, whilst the other hand rubbed her clitoris. At the other end, Carmen cupped Pierre’s balls with one hand and stroked Mandy’s clitoris with the other.
The two men continued to slide in and out of their willing partners, whilst the girls moaned and sighed. Richard lifted one hand from Carmen’s buttocks, to run it down Mandy’s back and then round to her nipple. She gasped.
He leaned down to kiss her. “Which do you like best, baby? Pierre in your pussy, Carmen on your clitoris or me on your tits?” Mandy groaned deeply in response. All three were fantastic.
She could feel a tightness in her legs which told her she was about to come.
Carmen beat her to it by a matter of seconds. “Ah, ah … I’m coming … fuck me harder Richard … oh God”. The sound of her orgasm tipped Mandy over the edge, and both girls thrust their hips forward urgently as they shuddered in unison.
Pierre snorted loudly and grabbed harder onto Mandy’s waist as he pumped furiously inside her, muttering away in French.
Richard groaned loudly as he shot his load into Carmen. Mandy grinned at his competitive nature: whilst the girls had been aiming for who would come first, the men had been trying to hold off as long as possible.
Ah, macho shit, she thought fondly – you just can’t beat it!
“Package for you, Richard”, said the mail boy as he dropped a small parcel on Richard’s office desk. Richard looked up from the report he was reading. The word Private was written in large capital letters, in red ink, alongside the delivery address.
It was also written in Mandy’s handwriting, so Richard was grateful the mailroom had respected the instruction not to open it. Probably not something they should see, knowing her.
He reached over and picked it up. Pulling it onto his lap, so it could not be seen by anyone passing his office door, he opened it carefully. You never knew with Mandy.
He took out the folded note and read it: you’re in charge. There were no other words on the paper. He began to smile, having a good idea at the sort of thing he would find underneath. His dick stirred in his trousers as he looked inside the package.
A black silk scarf and two long yellow silk scarves. Two pairs of fluffy pink novelty handcuffs. And a feather. Mmmm. The possibilities needed considering. He closed the package again and put it in his briefcase. Then, reconsidering, he opened it again to put the black silk scarf in his trouser pocket.
Throughout the day, whenever his mind wandered, it wandered to the contents of the parcel, while his hand fondled the scarf in his pocket. By 5 o’clock, he was impatient to get home. He had an idea.
When he opened the door at the house, she was there to greet him, a big smile on her face and wearing only her bath robe. He kissed her hungrily, then put his finger up to her lips. No talking. Not when I’m in charge.
He opened his briefcase and got out the package. He put it on the stairs, then roughly pulled her by the cord of her robe towards him. She pretended reluctance, which excited him. He undid the cord and slipped the robe off her, so she was naked. He kissed her again, his hand twisted in her hair at the back of her head.
“Turn round, and kneel on the stairs” he instructed, ensuring she knelt a couple of steps up from the bottom. He got out the handcuffs and clipped them on to her wrists, then onto the banister spindles, a few stairs further up. That pulled her gently forwards, so her tits hung free. She gave a surprised “Oooh” and grinned. “Nice!” He smacked her gently on the arse for talking without permission.
Then he got out the yellow scarves, and tied one to each ankle, the other end also to the banister spindles. He tied them tightly enough to prevent her from straightening her legs, so her bottom stuck up in the air, giving him a clear view of both her arse and her pussy. She was already wet and swollen. He fingered her pussy thoughtfully. Absolutely dripping. She turned her head to watch him lick his fingers, and smiled.
Finally, he wrapped the black scarf round her head, covering her eyes. She knelt there, now mute with anticipation. The air was cool enough for him to see tiny goosepimples on her skin. Her nipples were both sticking out, though that was probably not down to the temperature.
Standing back, he loosened his tie. She could sweat it out for a bit. He went through into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. He gathered together the things he would need: a bowl of ice cubes and a small pack of peas from the freezer.
He returned to the hall and picked up the feather. Standing behind her, he experimentally circled her arse with it, making sure he “accidentally” tickled her pussy as he did so. She wriggled.
Moving to the side of the stairs, he pushed the feather through the banisters and brushed it against the nearest nipple. She moaned in pleasure.
“Oh God, Richard, that’s good”. He smacked her again for talking, harder this time than the last time. Then he fed the feather through between her legs, to tickle her pubis.
Around and around he went, tickling her with the feather in places she was not expecting: down the backs of her legs, on the soles of her feet, at the base of her breast, in her belly button, on the back of her neck. She was flushed and excited, silently wiggling her bottom at him to try to encourage him to fuck her.
He put down the feather and reached to the bowl for an ice cube.
Standing right behind her, he allowed the ice cube to drip onto her spine. She gasped in surprise and pulled sharply at the handcuffs. “Shit, that’s cold, baby!” He smiled knowingly, as he ran the ice cube along the length of her spine. She shivered. As it melted, the water pooled in the small of her back. He leaned forward to lick it up. She murmured appreciatively.
As he licked, making sure he so casually licked just at the point where her arse cheeks separated, he reached forward for another ice cube. This time he moved his hand around to her front, to brush the ice against her nipple. Again, she gasped in surprise and pleasure at the sensation. He rubbed it gently all around the nipple, then moved onto the other one. She was moaning in pleasure, getting desperate for him to take her.
The ice cube in his hand had melted significantly now, so it was no larger than a marble. Without warning, he pushed it into her arse, right up the hole. “Oh fuck, baby!” she gasped, excited by the sudden penetration and the shockingly cold feeling.
Intrigued by her reaction, he took another ice cube, and this time rubbed it against the lips of her pussy. He carefully inserted the cube into her vagina, cupping her pussy so it would not drop out again, and enjoyed the way she shivered with excitement. She groaned as she tried to rub herself off on him. The ice melted, dripping water all over his hand.
There was nothing for it. He was going to have to take her like this. She was so submissive, so clearly gagging for it. “I’ll be back in a minute”, he whispered gently.
A few moments later, he was back, condom and lube at the ready. He could hardly pass up the option of that delicious arse presented for his pleasure. Tempting though it was to enter her without warning, he knew she would get even more turned on if she knew his plans.
“I’m going to fuck you up the arse, baby”, he whispered quietly, “and there is nothing you can do but take it”. He shook the ties on her legs, to show her how powerless she was. Mandy pretended fear.
“Oh no, sir, please don’t do that to me. No- one’s ever done that to me, sir”. She wiggled her bottom around, as if to avoid him, tantalizing him further. He grabbed her buttocks, to still her, then lined himself up at the entrance to her hole.
“Here you go, wench, try that for size”, he hissed, and pushed himself suddenly into her. Mandy squealed, and sighed with pleasure, moving her hips backwards and forwards, to feel him move inside her. He closed his eyes in ecstasy.
Richard reached forward once again, and picked up the pack of peas. As he thrust into her arse, he suddenly clamped the bag against her pussy, making her jump out of her skin. It was enough to tip her over the edge.
“Oh, oh … fuck … I’m coming … shit, baby … oh God, that’s good”, she juddered beneath him, pushing backwards onto his cock. The shock had made her clench her buttocks tightly, and he experienced a jolt of pleasure at the way she suddenly gripped him. His own orgasm broke out, and he pumped away feverishly at her, thrusting as deeply as he could. “Uh–unh … baby … oh that’s good … uh-unh”.
He collapsed against her, exhausted, as they both recovered from the moment. He kissed her back and ran one hand down her buttock, the other fondling her breast. Dear God, she was gorgeous.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang. They looked wide-eyed at each other. Not an easy position for Mandy to get out of in a hurry. Richard pulled the condom off into a tissue, and stuffed it in his pocket as he pulled his trousers up. Grinning at Mandy, he untied her legs from the banisters, grabbed her full length coat off the coatstand and draped it over her. “Sorry, love. Needs must”.
Then he casually opened the door, standing in such a way as to screen the strange hump from view as much as possible.
“Hello, sir”, said the man at the door. “Just come to read your gas meter, if I may?”
OK, now maybe I was spoiled for 16 years, because I had a husband who would never think of behaving this way, but I have one huge grump about male behaviour that I've experienced since I became a widow...
Why are men so crap at keeping you informed??
The rundown so far - judge for yourselves:
1. The guy who introduced me to Real Sex.
He was fantastic, the sex was fantastic, the whole "fuck buddies" thing was fantastic. For three months. I'd have him back in an instant.
At first, it was always him who phoned me. I texted him and he texted me back.
Then he stopped texting. Then he stopped phoning. If we were going to get together, it always had to be me contacting him.
Don't get me wrong, he often turned up early. He always turned up enthusiastic. It was like I was dealing with two completely different people.
But every time I contacted him, it felt like I was chasing him. I felt anxious - whereas if he had texted me a couple of times, even if just to say "I'm busy this week. Talk soon", I wouldn't have felt that way. I'd have been cool.
What is the line in that song: you're making me a crazy chick.
Anyway, in the end I dumped him for indisputedly rude behaviour (he rang off during phone sex because Dalziel and Pascoe came on the TV - what?????????), but I made it clear he only had to apologise to get back in my bed.
All he had needed to do was say "Now's not a good time love, it's part 2 of D&P tonight" and I'd have accepted that (honestly I would: I am not a scene-maker). But instead we got into a conversation I later realised he was only half paying attention to. Well, maybe even less than half.
Anyway, apparently, he couldn't be bothered to apologise. So that was the end of my excellent fuck buddy relationship .
2. The date set up by friends
Now, he was no oil painting, and he was a lot older than I had been led to believe (57 is a lot different from "nearly 50" ).
But I liked him, enormously. We got on really well, and at the very least he would be a fun cinema partner.
After the joint date, he phoned my friends to ask for my phone number. He did. Not me. Though I had made it clear to them I was up for another date with him (God, it's like being back at school, communicating via friends!).
Then I heard nothing from him for about a week or 10 days. So I got his mobile number from my friends and texted him about going to the cinema. He got back to me and said he was abroad on business and would get back to me when he got back to the UK the following week.
That was on May 19th, I believe. I've yet to hear from him, so I guess I'm not going to. I can't honestly say I liked him enough to be upset, though I did think him very rude not to get back in touch, even if it would be to say he was not interested. Basic courtesy.
And why the hell did he ask for my number?
3. Origami Man
I'm starting to get a bit pissed off by this by now. So I decide to take out an ad in Private Eye.
And the day after it comes out, I get a fabulous reply: witty, well-punctuated and spelt (important to me), well thought out. And with a lovely origami butterfly in the corner.
We get chatting, and origami is actually what he does for a living. He seems nice, I like his voice, he's a dirty little so and so (once he'd clarified that I was, and what I was looking for).
So we arrange to meet up, raunchy sex very much on the cards. I arrange for the kids to be picked up from school so it's possible.
He's late. Four hours late.
Now the being late I don't especially mind, because he was coming by train, and there were reasons why.
But what I do mind - and I mind it very much - is that he did not tell me. It wasn't until I texted him to check what time I was picking him up (and this was nearly at meet time) that I found out.
He had a phone. He could have used it. WTF?????
But I resolve not to be pissed off, and accept it as it is. We do meet up and have a nice chat/snog. No time for a shag, but we arrange to meet up the following weekend. I put childcare plans in place.
And then nothing. He did not contact me all weekend. I had sent a "nice to meet you, looking forward to next weekend" e-mail on the Friday. No contact on Friday or Saturday. I text him on Sunday saying I'm slightly surprised not to have heard from him. No reply.
On Monday I call him and he's clearly on a station or somewhere public. Says he'll call me that evening.
Which he doesn't. So at midnight, I send him an e-mail to say I don't know what game he's playing but I'm not going to sit around and wait to hear from him. I'm worth more than that - fuck it, any woman is worth more than that. My e-mail was to the point, but not angry or bitter, I hasten to add.
He's supposed to be really keen to meet up again (and I think he genuinely was). And the point - guys - is this: I did not want to keep chasing him all weekend. If I had had any contact from him to say "nice to meet you, looking forward to next weekend, busy all week" I'd have been happy.
He forced me into being that crazy chick.
Anyway, get this: next morning I get a vitriolic e-mail from him telling me I'm bossy and demanding, and my husband is better off dead!!!!!!!!
Well, bloody hell. Talk about taking rejection badly. Certainly explains the various comments he made about his ex-wife which seemed over the top in comparison with the reason for the divorce. So glad I didn't shag him. Clearly not a nice person at all.
4. Ikea man
Well, if he ever gets round to reading my blog, he'll be upset to find himself in it. But there you go.
I found him on Adult FriendFinder. He sounded nice, and genuine, and was relatively close. I contact him - we message, we talk for about an hour on the phone, we arrange to meet up at Ikea the next day for coffee. We both know exactly what we are looking for.
He's lovely. We get on really well, agree to get together for a shag a couple of days later.
Which we do. The sex is great, really great. We plan to get together the following week, him to let me know when is good for him because I can alter my plans more easily than he can alter his.
You know what I'm going to say, don't you?
Yes, he doesn't contact me. Eventually I text him and he texts me back to say he is not free for a few days which is why he has not been in touch.
No, guys, no. This is not what you do. You don't ignore someone just because you haven't got a free day. You text them or phone them to say you haven't got a free day. Then we know what's going on. It's not rocket science. Learn the lesson: communicate!
Otherwise, we have no option but to turn into crazy chicks.
What pisses me off even more is that I told him communication was important to me, and he assured me he wasn't "like that".
Another week on and he still hasn't contacted me. I think he's oblivious to the fact that I'm seriously pissed off about this (maybe I should just send him a link to this post?), but I'm not going to chase him. I refuse to be a crazy chick.
I'm just going to move on. Life is too short to waste on sitting around waiting to hear from guys who can't keep in touch.
5. My latest option
So I find someone else on Adult FriendFinder who sounds great. He's even so local to me that he passes through my village twice a day and he's self-employed, so can organise his own hours. Yay!
I'm hopeful that this could lead somewhere (I know you'll be reading this, M, so pay close attention at this point).
We arrange to meet up for coffee at 10.30. He knows I have limited time today, as I have to go elsewhere.
At 10.45, I leave. He has not yet turned up. At 10.55 he texts me cheerfully (hurrah - bonus point!) to say he'll be "about 20 minutes". I text him back to let him know I've had to go, and we rearrange. Later on we talk on the phone.
Great. I'm not pissed off. He's around often enough for us to reschedule without any great hassle. No problem.
But he phoned half an hour after we were supposed to meet, and was probably going to be another half hour after that. So I'd have been sitting around waiting an hour to meet up for coffee.
No way, Jose. I want to know before we're due to meet about any delays, even if it is only a few moments before. In theory, I could have got really pissed off not being told until afterwards, and might have refused to meet him.
There are many women who would have thrown a wobbly, and it would have been completely unnecessary. He's lucky I am not one of them.
I include him in this list only so he can see how lucky he was not to miss out. I might easily have moved on, because there are plenty more fish in the sea.
Guys, learn this lesson: communicate, communicate, communicate. It's for your own good. We only turn into crazy nagging chicks when you don't. Save us all some grief, please.
They had been lucky in getting a six-seat compartment to themselves on the train, but of course their luck could not hold. As the train filled up, it was inevitable that someone would come and sit in with them, even in First.
She was pretty, with legs that seemed to reach up to her armpits. Both Mandy and Richard covertly watched her with interest, then returned to their magazines. Mandy pretended to read hers upside down, to indicate to Richard that she was distracted. When was she not distracted? He nudged her foot, and Mandy turned her magazine back the right way up.
Each of them occupied a corner, not speaking. The blonde pulled out a magazine as well and started to turn the pages listlessly. Cosmopolitan. A promising start. Good Housekeeping might have proved more of a challenge. Prima would have caused them both to despair at the waste of a good body.
After a while, Richard became aware that she kept glancing at him, looking down shyly when he looked over. He smiled over at her and she blushed. For once, he was going to get to someone before Mandy did. Result. He smirked as he looked out of the window.
Mandy was not slow to see the way the wind blew. She closed her magazine and laid it on the seat beside her, while casually checking her watch.
“I’m going to the buffet car”, she announced generally. “I may be some time”, she added pointedly, as she closed the compartment door. Richard wondered if she would actually get as far as the buffet car, or whether she would pounce on someone en route. He knew she would want to make the score even and would be horny as hell. As far as he could tell, the blonde had not even worked out they were travelling together.
When the door closed, he put down his magazine and smiled at her. No sense in wasting time. “Hi, my name’s Richard”, and reached across the compartment to offer his hand. She took it lightly, and held it softly in hers. No ball-breaking career grip, this.
“Deborah”, she murmured. Sexy. She didn’t let go of his hand, so he took this as a cue to sit beside her, his hand still in hers.
“You have lovely hair”. He gently ran his fingers through it. His fingertips brushed against her cheek. She didn’t flinch, but smiled at him encouragingly. He removed his right hand from hers, and put it under her jacket, lightly brushing against an already erect nipple.
Cosmopolitan, a smile and no bra. The signs were extremely favourable.
“Richard, I know this may sound forward”, she shifted and leaned towards him, casually placing her hand on his leg. His trousers were already straining, a fact she must have noticed. “I like the look of you, and I wondered” she leaned in further to whisper seductively in his ear, “if you would screw the arse off me”.
“Deborah, I can assure you that I have already risen to the occasion”, he laughingly observed, and reached underneath her top to touch her bare breast, as he kissed her. Lifting up the fabric, he bent down to circle her nipple with his tongue, and then sucked it hungrily.
She moaned quietly, as he moved to his knees in front of her and proceeded to do the same with her other nipple. He circled both of them with his thumbs, to see how big they would get. They were quite the largest nipples he had ever seen. His stomach gave a flip.
She inched forward to the edge of her seat, and he could see that she was wearing a miniscule pair of panties. Which were very damp. He reached up to pull them down and off her legs.
“There seems to be a small problem with your pants, I fear”. He pretended mock-concern. “You see that they have got a little damp. And”, he brought them to his nose, “there is a faint trace of an odour. We need to discover the source”.
He dropped the pants on the floor and gently pushed her over onto the seat. Even in First Class, he wouldn’t like to trust to the floor for an erotic encounter. He pushed up her skirt, then started to kiss and sniff up her legs, moving from one to the other as he went.
“No, not here…. nor here … it does seem to be getting stronger now, though”. At last, he was up between her thighs, his tongue flicking lazily across the skin. Finally, he paused, with his mouth just above her pussy. She had her eyes tightly closed in ecstasy, flushing slightly, knowing what was coming. “Ah yes”, he whispered so close to her that her pubic hair moved, “this seems to be the source”.
The very tip of his tongue reached in to gently touch her clitoris. She moaned again, and Richard started to lick: the end, the sides and all around her clit. She opened her legs wider. Flicking his tongue briefly into her pussy then moving back to suck her clitoris seemed to be a very popular move. Every time he did it, she moaned with pleasure. “Yess, yesss, oh God, that’s good”. He kept on doing it, enjoying her reaction.
“Please, I want you inside me …. I’m going to come”, she panted breathlessly. Richard pushed his trousers down, slipped on a condom and pushed her legs even further apart.
“Are you sure you’re wet enough?” he teased, his cock at the entrance to her dripping pussy. She desperately tried to push herself onto him. Apparently, she was quite sure.
But train seats are not made for screwing on, and it was difficult to make room or get balanced. Richard looked around the compartment for inspiration, and his eyes lighted on Mandy’s full length coat. He got up, laid it on the floor, and helped Deborah down to lie on it. She was anxious about the coat.
“Don’t worry”, he reassured her. “If she even notices, I’m sure she’ll realise it was in a very good cause”. He smiled at the thought of Mandy’s real reaction when she saw what he had done with her new wool coat. He knew how much it had cost.
With her legs wide, heels resting on the seats either side, Richard slipped inside her and started to move. She wasn’t wrong: she really was nearly ready to come, and did so only a few moments later. Her pussy squeezed on his cock, again and again, as she groaned loudly. Wow, those were some pelvic floor muscles she had. What a turn-on.
He could feel his own orgasm building up inside him, and he started to push harder, until suddenly he exhaled heavily and thrust himself further and further inside her: “God, … yes… fuck … unh”.
He kissed her jawline, and twizzled a few strands of her hair, as he closed his eyes against her cheek, replaying in his head the moment that she came. She was luscious.
Still inside her, and lying collapsed on top of her, he heard the compartment door open a few moments later. He turned his head to see Mandy staring angrily at her coat.
“Well, I bloody hope that was worth it, because my coat is 100% cashmere. You’ll be paying for the cleaning, and then some”. And she dropped down on the seat in a huff.
Oh dear, thought Richard, someone obviously didn’t get laid this evening, after all.
It annoys me that standard members can't get to see all the info I lovingly input into my account, so I'm going to rebel and repeat it all here. Ssssh. And then I'll add stuff as well, because I also get annoyed when the choices I want are not in the list.
Also, for some really annoying reason, Adult FriendFinder keeps changing the tick boxes on some things: I have a list of characteristics that describe me and characteristics that I look for in another person. I have a list of about six things, but every day my profile details just get amended to say "optimistic".
So, here it is. The unvarnished truth about CB2:
Have you ever had cybersex? I have cybersex quite often. He's good.
What kind of night life do you enjoy? Films - no space on the profile to tell you that really means I watch TV and DVDs
How big of a role does sex play in your life? I love sex, but if I don't have a partner, I just masturbate. And write horny fiction.
What types of sex activities do you regularly enjoy? I should be so lucky Lucky, lucky, lucky
I really love analingus (and would really love to give it to the right person, too), cunnilingus, fellatio and good old fashioned screwing in a variety of positions.
How much enjoyment do you get from receiving oral sex? I love oral as an appetizer, before moving on to penetration
What are your thoughts on anal sex? There is nothing better than analingus. Being 100% honest here, whilst I don't need it every time, I couldn't honestly get involved with someone who wasn't prepared to go down on my arse.
Taking it up the arse I am ambivalent about: I've done it, and enjoyed it, but it just doesn't press the buttons for me that other things do, so I can take it or leave it.
What's the largest number of people you've shared a sexual encounter with in one session? I've only had one-on-one sex
Sexual Interests
What types of sexual activities turn you on? Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Role Playing, Mutual Masturbation
What types of sexual activities are OFF LIMITS to you? Sadomasochism, Urolagnia (Water Sports/Urine), Bondage, Breast/Nipple Torture, Clamps, etc., Fisting, Pain, Coprophilia/Scat
What types of new sexual experiences would you like to explore? In the last six months, my views on matters sexual have already been turned completely upside down. So now I think I'd be open to trying most things, in the right spirit (or sufficiently drunk!). I'm not at all into pain or humiliation in reality, but really get off on both in fantasy.
Besides the obvious, what areas of your body do you consider erogenous zones? Mind (Intelligence), Everywhere!
Have you ever had erotic pictures or video taken of you? I'm not into "capturing the moment". Though I do like to watch in the mirror.
Do you enjoy talking dirty during sex? I really get into it sometimes. This is when monosyllabic dirty words really come into their own.
Does size really matter to you? It doesn't matter. As long as it works, I'm happy.
Fantasies
Tell one of your favorite sexual fantasies. Don't hold back! Me? Hold back? Don't know the meaning of the phrase!
I don't tend to repeat identical fantasies that often - I like to vary them significantly. I have a fantastic cybersex partner with whom I can develop fabulous fantasies of all kinds - often involving double penetration, other women (with or without his participation), gangbangs, rape fantasies, strangers, initiation ceremonies, "first time" scenarios, incest, Dom/sub, animals (yikes!) etc etc.
I'm very clear on the distinction between fantasy and reality, and I don't think I'd consider there to be many limits on fantasy. Even if it is not my particular kink, I can role play it back if it is my partner's, because I get off on him getting off on it.
I love the anonymous control conferred by cybersex, knowing I can make a man come in his pants just by what I type...
Let me stress, though, that I'm not looking for a fantasy chat-partner on Adult FriendFinder. I've already snagged myself the best there is!
What role-playing scenes do you fantasize about? All sorts of role playing scenarios
What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter? No particular place, Anywhere
Ever fantasized about having sex with a celebrity? Who? What turns you on about them? No. I'm obviously an egomaniac - I'm far more interested in the fantasy experience I'm having than in who I'm having it with!!
Tell us about your favorite sexual encounter. I was going to say the first time I had analingus, but that would be wrong, because I was sufficiently tipsy that I didn't really remember it (how embarrassing having to ask him what he'd done to me the night before that felt so good!). So I'm going to plump for the SECOND time I had it...
Is it important to fulfill your fantasies? Certainly not - most of them are far too extreme, anyway.
And I would hate to try to fulfil a fantasy and find it disappointing, because that would ruin both the actual experience and also any future fantasy along those lines.
The opposite is important to me: NOT to fulfil my fantasies (well, I'm still deciding on the bi-curiosity one), to keep them as good as they are.
Have you helped someone else fulfill a fantasy? What was it? Not knowingly, but you never really know these things, do you?
How important is it for your partner to fantasize? I need my partner to have a good imagination, and to show themselves considerate of us both having a good time, but that need not involve fantasy as such.
What is the most recent fantasy you fulfilled? Was it good? I suppose that must be the learning there was more to sex than 15 minutes beginning to end, with me on top! Errr, yes, it was good.
Sexual Accessories
What toys have you used in sex play? Dildos/Vibrators, Clit stimulators (battery operated), Whatever your partner likes/wants
What bondage type gear do you enjoy using during sex play? I'm not into bondage
What food items have you used in sex play? Haven't done this in years! Might be up for it again
What food items are you interested in using for sex play? Surprise me. Put the fucking marrow down - stick with the cucumber.
What kind of porn films do you enjoy the most? Hard, Lesbian, Anal sex, It depends on my mood, Group sex, Oral. Sorry, I'm a dirty, dirty girl. Can't be doing with porn that has a plot.
How do you enjoy your porn? If I don't have a partner, pornos can be good company. Though to be honest I prefer to write some myself.
Physical Stuff
What is your favourite clothing style(s) during the day? Casual. I can't even believe anyone thinks this is an interesting question!
What is your favourite clothing style(s) during the night? Casual or appropriate to the venue. Equally uninterested in this question!
How would you describe your body, style, and appearance? Hot! But seriously: 5'4", average build, shortish brown wavy hair, blue eyes. Don't expect me to be a fashion queen or a gym junkie - I'm not!
Describe your most attractive feature. I'm going to say personality, on the grounds that most of the single men will assume from this that I must look like an orang-utan. I don't, but if they make a snap judgement like that, they are probably not the person I want to meet.
What body part do you first notice when you met a person? It's a toss up between the eyes and the smile
What do you consider the most attractive feature when looking for a sexual partner? Personality
How much does physical appearance matter to you in a partner? I try not to prejudge anyone, although I've got to say I'm not that keen if someone has really let themselves go: it says that they don't like themselves all that much. Which means I probably won't be that keen on them either.
Not keen on beards!
What factors are most important to you when looking for a sexual partner? Willingness to freely discuss and try anything, Creativity/Kinkiness level, Chemistry, Personality, Honesty, Intelligence
An ability to spell and punctuate. Really really important. I kid you not.
Oh and ability to get together for weekday shags. Very important, as evening and weekend time is really hard for me to arrange. If you have your own business, I'll be much more interested in you than if you have a 9-5 office job for that reason!
How important is physical attraction to you in a sexual relationship? If you'd seen my sexual history so far, you'd realise that's not how I choose them!
What do you wear for underwear? I love lingerie
What do you think about tattoos? Sorry, I think they are a waste of good skin
What do you think about piercings? They offend me on aesthetic grounds
Do you exercise? How? I walk, swim and do a bit of gentle jogging. Nothing excessive. If sex burns off 250 calories a time, how many times a day do I have to masturbate to achieve the same result?
What is your sexual health status? If it is not clear, the one who introduced me to Real Sex will suffer!
Work & Living Environment
What best describes the pace of your life? Laid back to the point of slothfulness
How much time does your job take up in your life? As much or as little as I want it to! I'm the boss.
At the moment (for the last 6 months) I'm doing so little that when my manager gave me a list of three urgent things to do, she shook her head wonderingly and said "I can't believe I'm trusting you to do these".
And of course I came straight home and logged on to Adult FriendFinder. As she knew I would.
Describe what you do for a living. You would NEVER guess. And I'm afraid it is confidential - totally incompatible with the me you see aired on Adult FriendFinder.
How often are you online? I'm on several hours a day
What kind of place do you live in? Mine, all mine
What do you like about where you live? It's the size I like, it's close to a good school, it has a fabulous (if neglected) garden, nice neighbourhood. The minute I saw it, I knew it was where I wanted to settle - it's not a stepping stone to somewhere else.
What is your current dating situation? I prefer not to say
How can Adult FriendFinder help you change your life? I'm not expecting Adult FriendFinder to change my life, only to broaden my friends'-base a bit. After 16 years of monogamous married life, with young kids, I've found it quite hard socially to find single males (or females). And I like online friends - you don't need to find a babysitter.
It's just a bum that all the single men I now know seem to live on other continents!! But I love to get e-mails from them - you know who you are, guys!
Outlook on Life
What words best describe your personality? Optimistic See? I had loads of other stuff in there like intelligent, kind, bouncy, friendly, loyal, selfish etc
What qualities do you look for in a partner? Optimistic Again - they've cut the words out of my mouth. Similar stuff to previous question, but not selfish please.
What factors are most important to you when looking for someone? Personality, Ability to communicate!
What animal best describes your personality? Cat
Tell us what things in life are most important to you Oh, way too hard. Will need to apply serious thought to this.
Mandy smiled with an evil grin, as she led Richard over to the bed and took his clothes off one by one, running her hands over his body as she did so. He stood there in anticipation, waiting to find out what was coming. She cupped his balls and briefly admired his full salute.
“OK, my boy. Face down onto the bed with you”, and she pulled out a couple of silk scarves from her bag, then loosely tied his wrists to the bed posts. She placed a couple of pillows under his stomach, so his bum was up in the air, and his erection hung free. Not an especially sexy look, he thought, but she seemed to be enjoying it.
Mandy, too, was naked. All she had with her was her big bag, and he wondered what else she was going to surprise him with. He didn’t have to wait long.
Out came a bottle of lubricant and her vibrator. Coating it with the lube, she idly ran it down his back and over his buttocks. And smiled. His balls tightened.
Christ, she was going to fuck him with her vibrator. He didn’t know which feeling predominated: fear or excitement, but he certainly felt the rush of adrenaline straight up his dick. He pulled slightly on the tied scarves.
“You know you want it, baby” she cooed, as she ran the vibe gently up and down between his arse cheeks and along the base of his balls. Well, she only had to look at his cock to realise quite how much. He knew how much she liked him to take her up the arse, and knew enough anatomy to realise he also had the advantage of a highly sensitive prostate gland up there. Of course he wanted it.
But that didn’t stop him being scared.
Kneeling behind him, she dropped a few spots of lube onto his arse and started to rub it around and around his hole, until he relaxed. Then she placed the tip of the vibe inside. He gasped at the intrusion. Slowly working upwards, she gradually slipped it further inside him, stopping every now and then to allow his muscles to relax as the vibe tip touched them.
“How does that feel, baby?” she whispered, as she started to move it in and out. She didn’t turn the motor on, for which he was grateful. Buzzing would have been a distraction. The in-out movement was quite enough on its own.
“Oh God, it’s …. fucking …. amazing”, he groaned, feeling the pleasure shoot up inside him. No wonder she liked to take it up the arse.
“Ah, but this isn’t the surprise”, she whispered filthily. “Richard, I’d like you to meet Luigi”. He started, and looked behind him. Sure enough, Mandy had a companion, a good-looking dark-haired boy wearing absolutely nothing but a grin and an enormous erection. Richard clenched his buttocks around the vibrator in fear, a reaction which gave him another unexpected spurt of pleasure.
Luigi slipped between his legs, briefly fondled his arse, then started to move the vibrator in and out like Mandy had been doing. His hand closed around Richard’s cock, and he wanked him gently at the same time. Richard sighed and gave himself up to the feeling. It was just so good. He closed his eyes.
The sensation that he was about to come was building up inside him again when Luigi removed the vibrator and pressed the head of his cock in its place. Momentarily, Richard clenched again, but then Luigi gently squeezed his balls and he gasped.
He was so close to coming, and he didn’t want it to stop. Relax, thought Richard, it’ll feel as good as the vibe.
Seconds later, he could feel the other man’s hard cock pushing into him, further and further. Shit, even the idea was a turn-on, and he moaned slightly. He opened one eye and glanced at Mandy, now sitting in the bedside chair with her legs up and wide, so he could see that she was absolutely dripping, fingers dipping in and out. She was getting as much fun out of his birthday present as he was.
“I’ve got a little bet on with Luigi, darling”, she grinned. “If he can make both of us come before he does, I’m going to give him £100”. Richard felt Luigi reach over to gently tweak one of Mandy’s nipples. She offered him two of her fingers to suck. Although his cock was hard inside Richard, it was clear that Luigi was rather more interested in getting inside her.
The idea of that gave him another surge of pleasure, and he groaned again.
Almost imperceptibly at first, Luigi started to thrust inside him, rubbing against his prostate. The feeling was unbelievable, and he thought his head might blow off with the sensation. God, no wonder gay men fuck each other senseless. Seconds later, Richard spurted come all over the bed, as his hips involuntarily started to judder.
“Oh God, …. I’m ….. coming” he moaned uselessly. As if they couldn’t tell. Luigi stopped moving while Richard’s orgasm seemed to continue for ever, and he ground himself back onto the other man’s dick as far as he could go. He could sense Luigi was holding himself back. He clearly wasn’t going to spend himself inside Richard, when Mandy was over there, gagging for it.
Richard suspected it wasn’t actually the money which was the main motivation.
A few seconds later, Luigi pulled himself out of Richard, pulled the used condom off into a tissue and seamlessly put another one on. He moved over to where Mandy was sitting and lifted her effortlessly up and onto his cock. Resting her buttocks on his hands and her back against the wall, he thrust into her again and again, her legs twisted around him. Richard watched from below, as the boy’s cock slipped in and out of her, covered in her juices.
Suddenly Mandy tensed, and he knew her orgasm was coming. She arched her back, ground her pussy down onto Luigi’s cock and gasped.
“Ooh, yess, oh, oh God, I’m coming” she moaned. She grabbed his hair, pulled his head back and hissed through her teeth “I … want … to … hear … you ... come”. Luigi needed no further telling, and pumped hard into her while grunting out his own orgasm.
Apparently, Italian really was his native tongue, Richard noted with amusement.
I was hoping to have had an inbox inundated with fantasies you want me to write up into stories, but material so far is thin on the ground. (I know, I know, I'm impatient, as I only asked you yesterday, but I expect more dedication from you lot. You came so highly recommended).
Which means that...
1. you're shy (but you are on Adult FriendFinder, after all), or 2. no- one has any fantasies or 3. you think it would be more fun just to see what comes out of my very warped little mind without any further prompting.
Well, as it happens, the next story was already in existence but fits in nicely with the theme suggested to me by a lady blogger...
The bang of the window cleaner’s ladder on the wall woke Mandy up, and she rolled over towards Richard. Her hand reached over to see if he was hard, and he pushed it away grumpily, head still buried in the pillow.
“Geddoff, I need to sleep”.
“What kind of a man are you, waking up without a hard-on, then?” she teased, knowing full well that he had done so two hours previously, and she had dealt with it for him. The memory of what he did made her smile. No wonder he needed to sleep.
Lying on her back, she glanced out of the window as the window cleaner’s head appeared above the sill. Ooh, a new one, nice body. And young – no more than 18, she reckoned. Initially surprised to see them lying in bed, he smiled to her and waved. She waved back.
She got up out of bed and walked to the window, completely naked. His smile switched to a look of alarm. He had no idea where to direct his gaze.
Mandy leaned her elbows on the sill, giving him a good view of her breasts, then pointed down the stairs to the back of the house. He looked at her wide-eyed, and then at Richard lying face down on the bed, eyes closed. Patiently, she pointed to him, to herself and again towards the back of the house, until he got the message and nodded. He started to climb down his ladder.
As Mandy walked towards the door, Richard lifted his face from the pillow and grinned at her. “Oi, girl, screw him quietly. Some of us are trying to sleep, here”. Affectionately, she stuck up two fingers and tripped lightly downstairs.
The boy was absent-mindedly wiping the glass with his squidgee, clearly not sure if he had misunderstood after all. Relief, mingled with embarrassment, flooded his features as she walked into the room and came to open the French windows.
God, he was gorgeous, tanned and muscular. And clad only in a pair of low cut denim shorts. Mandy felt a flip in her stomach at the sight of his pubic hair peeping over the front of his shorts. There was a fine line between too much body hair and not enough, and he was just on the right side of that line.
“Hello you”, she purred, pulling him inside by the waistband. He smiled nervously, glancing up at the ceiling. She kissed him and ran both hands over his crotch as she did so. She had his full attention already.
Entering the room completely naked probably did that.
“Don’t worry about him. We can do it quietly if you like”. She was such a liar. She didn’t believe in quiet, but by the time he found that out it would be far too late to stop. She dragged him down onto the floor on top of her, undoing his fly as she did so.
“Mmmm, a big boy as well”, she ran her hand up and down his cock appraisingly. He was quivering with excitement. “I think I’ll have to dig out one of my extra big condoms for you, lovey. Wait there”, and she disappeared off to the kitchen.
Yesss, she punched her fist in the air – just the kind of thing I had in mind, this lovely Saturday morning. Young, big and very, very hard. She was already wet at the thought of him moving inside her.
He was lying propped on his side when she returned, exactly as she had left him, with shorts undone and cock sticking out. He might be nervous, but he didn’t lack self-confidence. Good, a boy who knows how to handle his impressive equipment.
She sat down on the floor, opened her legs invitingly, and crooked her finger at him. Standing up, he took off the few clothes he had on and smiled slyly across at her. Ooh, so tempting to take him in her mouth, now he was just at the right height. The same thought had obviously occured to him as well.
But on the other hand, think of the feel of him between her thighs. Mandy was torn between two options, but her pussy claimed greater need. Maybe she could give him a blow job some other time.
She crooked her finger again, and he knelt down in front of her. He was a great kisser, flicking his tongue inside her mouth, under her ear, on her neck, moving down to kiss all over her body. His fingers lightly tip-tapped down her spine to her arse, and up again, then he lifted her arm and licked inside and around her armpit. The feeling was delicious, sending sparks of pleasure through her body. Bloody hell, an erogenous zone she had no idea existed, taught to her by a boy barely old enough to have left school.
She gave a shiver of anticipation.
He was in no rush to fuck her. On the one hand, she liked the way he was determined to enjoy every moment, stringing out the pleasure. On the other, she was really, really into instant gratification.
“I want you now”, she groaned, putting on the condom she had brought through, taking the opportunity to feel him up and down. Bloody hell, it was hardly big enough. Too late now to regret not sucking him off. He was certainly going to fill her up, that was for sure, a thought which released more liquid between her legs.
With a sigh, she lay back on the floor and spread her legs. With another quick glance at the ceiling, he put his fingers inside her to make sure he had room, then gently guided himself inside her.
“Tell me to stop if it hurts”, he whispered. What a horny idea, that he could be so big as to hurt her. She knew she wouldn’t tell him to stop, whatever. No pain, no gain. She wanted him to fill her completely, and pushed herself down on to him, so he would get the idea.
“Oh God, that’s good. Keep going, big boy”. He was happy to oblige, seeming surprised that he was able to slip his full length inside her. She reckoned he usually got told to stop. He took his weight on his arms, so as not to squash her, then gradually started rocking inside her. She wound her legs round his back and tipped her pelvis forward, so he could get in even deeper. She could feel his dick almost pressing into her arse, it was so far in.
Gradually, the tempo increased and she got hotter and hotter, feeling up and down his body with her hands, periodically biting his shoulder or pinching his nipples. She arched her back in pleasure and moaned quietly. Every time she made a sound, she felt his cock quiver. Probably a mixture of fear and excitement.
If he could hold out for her to come, and not shoot off first, she knew they would end up coming together, very noisily. The thought gave her another tingle of excitement.
Eventually, she could hold off no longer, and her moans got louder and louder. He tried to kiss her quiet, but she pushed her face away as she thrust her hips up at him. “Yess, baby… push harder … ooh, that’s the spot… oh God, that’s so good”. She felt his balls tighten as he got ready to explode inside her.
She was right – when the moment came, he no more cared than she did how much noise they made. There was always something magical about simultaneous orgasm. A kind of fusion.
“Shit … fuck … uh-unh”, he pounded into her again and again, eventually collapsing his weight on top of her, panting with the exertion. For a moment he paused, then laughed quietly and kissed her again.
“How do you take your coffee, then, or do you need something stronger?” asked Richard politely from the kitchen door. The boy looked up in alarm, then down again at Mandy. She winked, smiled and eased herself out from under him, taking the robe that Richard held out for her.
“Errrr, I seem to have got a bit behind with the windows actually”, the boy muttered. “Nothing for me, thanks. I’ll just carry on from where I got to”. He reached over for his shorts, put them on and went out of the patio door, turning as he went to waggle his fingers in a private little wave for her. She waggled hers back, then suggestively sucked on her index finger.
Next time, I’ll have you here, boy.
Mandy and Richard took their coffee upstairs, along with the morning papers. Sitting up in bed a few moments later, she thoughtfully sipped her drink. “You know what’s great about teenagers, Richard?”
“Go on, then. Tell me”, he said as he idly ran his hand down her thigh. He had a good idea what she was thinking, filthy girl.
“By the time I’ve finished this coffee, he’ll be ready to roll again. Yum”, and she smacked her lips in anticipation.
If you're following the blog so far, you'll see that I write erotic fiction as a hobby.
The adventures of Mandy and Richard currently number 12 or 13 episodes, and were originally written for the entertainment of myself and a few close female friends. Prior to posting them on Adult FriendFinder, I had no idea if they would appeal to male readers as well, though I hoped they would.
I'm so thrilled to discover that guys think them hot as well. I can't tell you how much I enjoy the thought of you all needing to step off to the bathroom for a cold shower after reading them! It makes a girl swell with pride to know she can still get a rise in all the right places.
I'll continue to write the Mandy and Richard stories, and to post them on here, but if anyone has a brief fantasy description they would like me to make into one of my stories, please feel free to e-mail me. Trust me, whatever you tell me won't shock me, though I will not post anything involving children.
I know in my head what my two protaganists would get up to (in Mandy's case, that is pretty much anything, she's such a horny little slut; and Richard is far more - ah - flexible than you may currently realise), but if I felt your fantasy would be out of keeping with either of their characters, I'd simply write it for a new character or two.
Anyway, as I've said, if there's a scenario you'd like to see in fiction form, you know where to find me...
She had been teasing him on the dance floor all night, and they were both reaching fever pitch. Hurriedly, they rushed in to the men’s toilets, Richard grabbing at her bum and trying to kiss her neck. He ached to get between her thighs, and she wanted it just as much, judging by the way she was pulling him on.
She jumped onto the sink counter, sat forward and opened her legs. He hadn’t even realised she wasn’t wearing any knickers all evening, despite the shortness of her skirt. His erection made another leap, while he struggled to get his trousers undone.
Mandy was enjoying his lack of control, he could tell.
“Uh – unh” he grunted, as he pushed inside her and simultaneously pulled her towards him. His lips and hands were all over her: tits, shoulders, neck, mouth. God, she felt and tasted good. At this rate, he wasn’t going to last long.
Almost as soon as he had the thought, he came. No holding on tonight for him, making it last until they both had what they wanted. He groaned and reached up to kiss her, mumbling his apology. He would make it up to her, probably go down on her in a few moments when he’d collected his wits. In the meantime, they kissed hungrily and let their hands wander. Her eyes were still heavy with lust.
“Very nice”, a sardonic voice behind him said, and they both turned to look. A slim dark-haired man stood leaning against a cubicle, arms crossed, watching them with amusement. “But she didn’t come, did she?” He raised an eyebrow at Richard, as if reproving him for his lack of manners. Richard heard Mandy’s sharp intake of breath and knew immediately what she’d seen. Button-fly jeans.
Sex in clothing form, as far as she was concerned.
And, inside them, a very obvious bulge, which the stranger was making no effort to hide. On the contrary, he caught Mandy’s eye and raised his eyebrow again, as he smiled at her. His hand moved down to his flies and he undid the top button. Mandy jumped off the sink counter to walk towards him, and Richard knew his job was to watch from the sidelines. He knew enough not to interrupt her when she had that look in her eyes.
The stranger was right: she hadn’t yet come. She was still dangerous.
Before she even got to the man, she was tearing open a condom pack with her teeth. Dear God, was this girl ever unprepared for sex? Apparently not. Once she reached him, she ripped open the rest of his flies, pulled down his trousers and pants, then commandingly pushed him down on the floor, so she could straddle him.
She certainly knew what she wanted, and at this moment in time it was the man in the button-fly jeans. He didn’t seem to be objecting.
She slid down onto him with a groan, while his hands grabbed her arse to steady her. She leaned forward so he could slip his hand up her camisole and touch a nipple with his fingers. Mandy gasped, and then again as he grabbed her more roughly, pulling her slip up so he could flick her nipple with his tongue and gently bite it. His other hand went to work pulling and tweaking her other nipple, before running his thumb around it deliciously. She groaned again.
She sat back to change the angle between them, arching her back while he held on to her waist with both hands. He pushed into her forcefully time and again, and she gave as good as she got. Mandy obviously fancied it a bit rough tonight. No surprise really, given the button-fly jeans. They always brought out the slut in her, Richard knew.
From the look on her partner’s face, he was concentrating hard on not coming just yet. He wasn’t going to fall into the same trap as Richard, however much she taunted him. She wasn’t making it easy for him, though. A lesser man would have succumbed by now.
She was clearly on the verge of exploding, when another man walked into the toilets and stopped short at the view in front of him.
Evidently, he thought all his Christmases had come at once, and it took him a matter of seconds to pull out his cock, and stand right in front of Mandy’s face, completely ignoring her partner below him on the floor.
Mandy never even looked up as she stopped rocking on the dick between her thighs. She just grinned and took him in her mouth, sucking him hard and with obvious relish. He groaned and swayed forwards, rocking into her. She grabbed his buttocks, so she could control his movements, pushing away the hands he had placed on her head to try to force her to take him deeper. She was sucking him off, but on her terms, not his.
Seconds later, he groaned again and shot his load. Richard, now nursing a fairly impressive erection once more, noticed that she did not swallow, but held it in her mouth while she just pushed the stranger out of the way. He had fulfilled his purpose and she had no more interest in him. Never once had she glanced higher than his dick. He stumbled backwards, hurriedly doing up his flies, as he left the room.
Mandy looked down and smiled at button-fly guy on the floor beneath her. He grinned back, knowing exactly what was on her mind. He pulled her face down towards his and she kissed him deeply, emptying the come from her mouth into his. The way he greedily sucked her tongue was enough to set off her orgasm, and he thrust his hips towards her so he could reach right up inside her as she squeezed him.
“Uh – unh” he groaned loudly, finally letting go inside her. “God … you’re … so … good”. He stressed the last word with a final thrust, before collapsing back onto the floor, exhaling loudly through his mouth. He smiled up at her, exhausted. “Wow, that was some fuck, girl”.
She grinned, stood up and straightened her skirt, offering him a hand to stand. He winked at her, and looked over with a smile at Richard.
“Remember”, he said mock-sternly, “the lady always comes first”, and walked off without a backward glance, casually doing up his fly.
I went to the cinema today to see Pirates: Dead Man's Chest (excellent, incidentally) with my kids. The place was absolutely heaving.
What amused me hugely, though, was how orderly and British we all were about it. No jostling or pushing in. Everyone politely waited their turn. So unFrench, really!
My husband and I once discussed moving permanently to France but decided against it, largely on the basis of simple things like the populace's total inability to queue.
I'm sorry if some of you are French, but you've got to admit it is 100% true, isn't it? I spend about one eighth of the year there every year, so I've seen a fair amount of typical behaviour. I'm not basing my comment on 2 weeks' holiday there once, five years ago.
Anyway, back to the cinema experience...
Of course, being in the UK, with this massive crowd waiting to see a big opener, how many staff did they have at the huge refreshments kiosk?
Of course - a grand total of 2.
Both of whom had apparently been trained by a sloth.
But good old British spirit took charge, and we patient customers not only waited in line but we even organised ourselves without prompting into a giant joint queue along the centre, so that the people at the front of the line could simply move to the next available space as it became free (approximately once every 10 minutes).
And of course, we stood well back to offer suitable privacy to those making their purchases. Such old-world courtesy!
Anyway, must rush to post this, because then I've got a new story to put up. I'm only telling you this to give Mav time to plan his cold shower breaks...
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