According to maverick1255, my Cake Personality reveals:
"Lemon Meringue - Smooth, sexy and articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many friends."
Scarily accurate, apart from the fact that I'd never try and chew gum any time, let alone while doing something else. I'm so poor at multi-tasking, you know, that I forget to talk during phone sex if my hands are busy....
Now, before that distracts you completely, don't forget to check out my blog (especially those filthy, filthy stories ) ...
Oh, and if you're thinking about sex, please read Just fucking fuck me, already.. It encapsulates my thoughts and wishes very clearly.
This is a drama-free zone. Fakes, multiprofilers and people who write nasty comments about other people will not find a forum here.
<--- Yes, I'm aware it's not a fly, but you'll see why he's there, if you read on.
OK, our cottage here is close to a field that sometimes contains cows, although it hasn't done so for a few years now. I'm really grateful, because we used to get the biggest flies all over the place at different times of the year, and it was really irritating (and unhygienic).
But this holiday, for some reason, we have a plague of ordinary flies in the cottage and it is driving us insane. I wouldn't mind if it were hot, or some such reason, but it's miserable stay-indoors weather so far.
Hence the title of this blog post. Fucking flies are really doing my head in. Even though the boys and I are quite adept at the old fly swatter, it seems like every time we kill one, another 10 arrive to take its place.
Sigh. I've even resorted to spraying the boys' bedroom with fly spray tonight, so it will be clear of the buggers by the time they go to bed (and I'll try not to think of the carcinogenic risks), because there is nothing worse than being dive bombed by flies when you are in bed, and the only target they have is your face.
It's a day for bizarre things, actyually. Outside, the wind was blowing a gale, and one of our shutters had worked loose and was banging around. So I opened the French window to sort it out ad blow me down if a lizard didn't plop right onto my arm.
Don't know who was more shocked, him or me - though his shock immediately deepened when my six year old tried to grab hold of him to stroke him. That was it - didn't matter how far the jump, he was off.
Hope we didn't kill him with the shock or the grabbing (we once accidentally disembowelled a lizard by trying to pick it up when it really didn't want to be picked up. Not a scenario I'd be keen to repeat).
What with a houseful of flies and lizards popping up out of the woodwork, you may be forgiven for thinking I'm talking about somewhere warm in the South of France, Year in Provence style. Not at all - it's been 6-8 degrees centigrade for most of the day, windy and either raining or about to rain for most of the time. Miserable place!
So I'm consoling myself online for a while, instead...
A blogging friend of mine posted this, so I thought I would too...
The rules are as follows...
Copy and paste the following onto your blog, then leave me a comment here, and then let the games begin. Here is how it works:
If you leave a comment, I will:
1. Respond with something random that I know or think I know about you. Nothing of confidential nature though, I assure you of that.
2. I will tell you what song or movie or celebrity you remind me of.
3. If you are female, I will tell you the most likely place that you and I will ever make out.
4. I will say something that only makes sense to you and me or at the very least make some something up that may give the other bloggers something to talk about.
5. I will tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I will tell you what your name would be if you were the opposite gender. (I'll just be guessing on this one)
7. I will ask you something that I have always wondered about you. (And if too personal, by e-mail)
8. In order to play here you should be willing to post this yourself.
So please repost this in your Blog and... Let the games begin...
May 27, 2007 2:56 pm Mood: experimental, 692 Views
One of the things that always drove us mad about France was the lack of chiller cabinet juice choices at the supermarket. If you liked orange, you were ok: orange, blood orange, mandarin, tangerine. You could get juices in any combination of these. Though why the hell you would want to, I'm not sure.
But, hell, if you wanted something like apple or pineapple, or even tomato, you were stuffed. As for lychee, forget about it! Never going to happen.
Except something strange seems to have happened in the last couple of years.
The shelves are suddenly full of the most weird and wonderful combinations I have ever seen (and trust me, whenever there's a weird combo in the juice line launched, I'm at the front trying it).
Grape juice and lychee, for one. Now, I've not seen it before, but it didn't strike me as a strange combination, except in so far as it is strange for France, where you still can't get a plain apple juice most of the time. Anyway, I got some and - yes - that litre didn't last more than 24 hours. I liked that.
But the next one must surely clasify as the wet dream of the weirdest scientist/food combinist around. Are you sitting down?
Grape, tomato and artichoke juice.
That's not three different juices. They are all in the same carton together. And that carton is currently in my fridge. I can't begin to imagine what the colour or the texture of it might be.
I almost don't have the nerve to try it, it sounds so outlandish. But, hey, in the interests of science and in a spirit of blog-friendship, I'm going to give it a bash.
Give me 10 minutes and I'll give you my verdict....
...
...
Well, its colour is deep red, like a red grape juice, and that is definitely the most dominant flavour. But I can subtly taste the artichoke in there; it sort of takes the edge off the tartness of the grape. Can't honestly say the tomato has made a major showing in my taste test.
I must say, if I were a child presented with this drink, I'd assume it was just red grape juice. And maybe that's the point: increase their vegetable intake without them knowing (though every fule no's a tomato is technically a fruit not a vegetable).
Mind you, of course, this theory also assumes the little blighters don't read the label on the carton when it's in the fridge.
Now, do you think they will ever stock plain old chiller cabinet apple juice???
I'd promised the boys that while we are here, we will go to the Alpes Mancelles to do some tree walking.
It's one of those businesses where they have ropes and things amongst the trees, you get strapped in a harness and off you go. There is one at Bedgebury Pinetum in Kent now, which costs something like £25 per adult. Not sure how much the kids cost, but they seemed to think they may be too small yet.
Anyway, we're not doing it at that price.
Here in France, they cater for 5 year olds upwards on a smaller course, and the costs are 16€ (hey, Jay, you're right about that function key!!) for adults, which is about £10. And half that for kids. Well, that's more like it.
No surprises, then, that we're going to try it out here first.
OK, I'm grabbing a few minutes' online time while I can, but I'm squarely in dialup territory here.
Forty five point fucking two kpbs.
I could walk faster than that!!!!
It suddenly makes you realise how much you take broadband for granted.
The other week, I tried out Vodafone's mobile broadband facility, and took it back in disgust, because I was only getting 238.6 kpbs. "Call that broadband?" I ranted "My dialup in France is quicker than that! Take back your shoddy crap..."
Only, as I've now discovered, my dialup in France isn't faster than that.
I'm still uncertain on the mobile broadband front. It wasn't just the speed, but the Content Control on the Vodafone package which seemed impossible to remove. "But that should only affect 18+ sites" the girl helpfully said. "What, and I'm not allowed to go to 18+ sites, even though I am patently 18+ ?"
This is what I need -
- Mobile broadband (I can accept varying speeds now that I understand it's all about how much the piece of cake gets sliced with other mobile broadband users) - works abroad (mostly Europe), not just in the UK, even if there is an extra charge - will let me go to the sites I want to go to, without blocking the 18+ ones
Surely it is not too much to ask? Anyone in IT want to offer me some advice?
...especially not when we got to the cottage at 7.30pm to find the cleaner had kindly changed the faulty lock on the exterior door shutter some time during the last few months.
Sadly, she had forgotten to tell me or indeed to give me a key.
And it's pissing it down with rain, we've been driving for hours. And we are unamused.
I text Sudorific to moan about the situation, and his reply is along the lines of: That's shit. So, what sex toys did you take with you?
Errr, excuse me, I've got two hungry kids, we're unable to get in to the house, the weather is lousy and you want to know what sex toys I've got with me??? Grrrrrr. Actually, for once, sex was not high on my agenda at that particular moment.
Lucky he wasn't close enough for me to hit him, otherwise I definitely would have (though, to be fair, he thought we were travelling in the motorhome and therefore had somewhere to sleep overnight).
Anyway, I give in gracefully and take us to the nearest Chinese restaurant (we are well known there), which is about 15 minutes away. He kindly phones a local hotel for us, and books us a room.
And this morning, I came back, went to the neighbour's (where my cleaning lady also works) and got a spare set of keys from him. Which had 3 suspiciously new looking identical keys on it. Tried them, but they didn't work.
Then I threw myself on the mercy of my super-fit farmer neighbour (6 years younger than me, gorgeous and I once disgraced myself by attempting to shag him - he ran away scared), who came to the rescue. The new keys were the right ones, but the lock was really stiff as it hadn't been used in so long.
So I texted both my FWBs to report success, and my second FWB texted back "I bet the farmer was as stiff as the lock", while Sudorific texted back "Did you shag him as a thank you?"
Guys, I don't always have sex on my mind, you know.......
Your Heart and Soul - The Real You The Sun is in Cancer. The Sun was in Cancer at the time of your birth. However, reading your birth chart will show you the many other astrological factors that also influence your personality and the way you behave. Put them together and they give you a complete picture of the many astrological influences that make up your unique personality.
For you, happiness and emotional security go hand in hand, and you can't have one without the other. Knowing that your nearest and dearest love and need you fills you with wonderfully warm and cosy feelings, and also means that you can lavish lots of tender loving care on them, too!
Be careful, because sometimes you're so protective, doting, and devoted that your care and concern turns into smother love, and makes folk feel trapped and suffocated.
If you're a wee bit possessive sometimes, or even too overpowering for words, remember that loving someone means letting go. Start dictating the way someone should feel, and they'll soon be rushing off in the opposite direction as fast as their legs can carry them!
You're wonderfully emotional and sensitive, intuitive and psychic, and can tune into folks' feelings in the twinkling of an eye, but because you're also insecure and unsure of yourself, you can think you're being rejected or slighted when that isn't really the case at all.
It's your vivid imagination that's the cause of all the problems, and you can become touchy, tetchy or just plain grumpy when you think a loved one's out to upset you. Try not to be so defensive and quick to take offence, and stop turning on the tears or having a fit of the sulks every time someone upsets you.
Domestic bliss means everything to you, and home is definitely, where your heart is. You'd much rather rush back to your abode at night than go out on the town! Moving far from the bosom of your family comes as a real wrench, and you'll try to see as much of your kith and kin as possible unless you've had a row, of course, when you'll nurse your wounds in sulky and solitary silence! Just like elephants, you never forget a thing, and that goes for the bad memories as well as the good ones.
You're also a right old hoarder, and have drawers and cupboards crammed with all sorts of mementoes and nostalgic knickknacks that you can't bring yourself to throw away. If you have a loft or cellar, it's bound to be bursting with all sorts of oddments that you think will come in useful one day!
As well as the sensitive side of your nature, you can also be extremely ambitious and determined. Once you know what you want out of life you'll do your utmost to achieve your aim, especially when it comes to furthering your career or setting up your own home. There's much more to you than meets the eye!
How others see you
The Rising sign is Cancer. Determination and willpower flow through you, helping you to achieve whatever you want out of life and get to grips with your aims and ambitions. Once you have a purpose, you certainly cling on to it! You can do very well in business affairs or money matters, thanks to your shrewd, sharp and astute mind.
Somehow you always seem to know what to do for the best, and can drive a very hard bargain! In fact, your kith and kin, which see the caring, cosseting and protective side of you, would be very surprised to know what a smooth operator you are when it comes to business dealings!
What's more, your colleagues, and bosses could be amazed to see what you're like at home! The only thing they both know is the way you get very defensive over the slightest little upset. Without doubt, the most important people in your life are your family and loved ones, and your feelings about them are very tenacious and protective. You'd do anything for them, and usually do!
If you don't have the cash to support them in the right style, you may decide to improve matters by working day and night to earn more boodles. That's alright for a while, but there's a danger that you can take things to extremes and end up being so busy you've never got any spare time to spend with your family!
Social status comes high on your list of priorities, and it can be very important for you to keep up with the Jones's. You may even keep that in mind when choosing a permanent partner, going for someone who's higher up the social scale than you, or who's got a lot of boodle in the bank.
Something you have to watch is your tendency to worry let's face it; you can get worried about anything at all! To make matters worse, you bottle up all your problems. Try to talk things out with someone sympathetic, otherwise all that angst can lead to lots of stomach troubles. It can also mean that your moods fluctuate drastically, making you very emotional and excitable.
***
Good job I have good pelvic floor muscles, because otherwise I'd have wet myself a few times. Russell Grant, don't give up the day job...
I pinched this from tunergal's blog, but it made me laugh: those of you who know my name will know exactly how accurate it is.
And maybe browserman's mis-naming of me as Margot isn't so far from the truth either
A: hot B: Loves people C: Really easy to fall in love with D:sexy E: Freakin Beautiful eyes F: People wild and crazy adore you G: Never let people tell you what to do H: Easy to fall in love with I: Loves to laugh J: Makes people laugh K: Really silly L: Best Smile M: Makes dating fun N: can kick ass O: Has one of the best personalities ever P: Popular with all types of people Q: A hypocrite R: Good bf/gf S: Lives life for fun T: Great kisser U: Gets blamed for everything V: Not judgmental W: Very broad minded X: Never let people tell you what to do Y: gorgeous Z: Lives for fun
It was going well, until the moment I met him, and he got my name wrong
Seriously, babe, it was lovely to meet you, even if we were robbed of our hard earned money by mistakenly buying cold drinks instead of another pot of tea. It was nice to sit out in the sunshine and talk about all sorts of things. I was thinking as I left that my older son might like to do work experience at your company in due course...though I'm not sure the younger one would pass the ethical requirement.
I've said before that the most useful subject I learned at school by far (though I hated it and was not much good at it) was Latin. And Lofty has been quoting Latin recently, which got me doing the same.
So I thought I'd have a little game.
Go on, post a phrase in any foreign language and see if I can work or find out what it means.....
(hey, you guys looking for displacement activities, you're rank amateurs when it comes to me )
) ...
Still grinning from ear to ear.
