According to maverick1255, my Cake Personality reveals:
"Lemon Meringue - Smooth, sexy and articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many friends."
Scarily accurate, apart from the fact that I'd never try and chew gum any time, let alone while doing something else. I'm so poor at multi-tasking, you know, that I forget to talk during phone sex if my hands are busy....
Now, before that distracts you completely, don't forget to check out my blog (especially those filthy, filthy stories ) ...
Oh, and if you're thinking about sex, please read Just fucking fuck me, already.. It encapsulates my thoughts and wishes very clearly.
This is a drama-free zone. Fakes, multiprofilers and people who write nasty comments about other people will not find a forum here.
Oct 6, 2007 2:53 pm Mood: Confident - and sore ;), 523 Views
Last year, for about 4 months, I had a boyfriend called (for the purposes of this blog) J. The famous non-coming boyfriend (my theory incidentally is that he's gay, as he always had difficulty coming with women but had no problem with men).
Anyway, he rather destroyed my blow job confidence, when he said disbelievingly during the course of one "And you've had men who come from this?"
Well, yes, I have, actually. But I won't deny it dented my confidence in giving blow jobs.
Yesterday I met up again with Ray (Jayne was on holiday yet again) for a fantastic afternoon, during which I gave him a couple of blow jobs. He raved on about how wonderful they were, so I smiled wearily and told him about my experience with J.
He was flabbergasted. He thinks my blow jobs are fantastically sensual, and thinks J is an ignorant little git who should be taken out and shot for dissing my BJ skills.
So not only did I have fantastic sex all afternoon, watch exceedingly filthy porn and have a lovely joint shower, but I also had my confidence restored in my ability to go down.
Oct 4, 2007 10:17 am Mood: Irritated by other drivers, 695 Views
.... the truck that pulls out at the bottom of a long incline to overtake another one, thereby blocking the overtaking lane. And you know full well he's not going to make it. So after blocking all the traffic for five minutes, he finally pulls back behind the other one.
or
.... the car in front of you who is going a little too slowly for you to stay comfortably behind. So you pull into the overtaking lane, at which point he speeds up to stay neck and neck with you. Meaning you end up driving far too fast just to get past, whereas you'd have preferred him to be doing that slightly speeded up speed in the first place.
What makes you think I've been out on the motorway today?!
I clicked on this blog post because of the heading, prepared to be outraged at misogyny: 17 ways women fail in bed. I had my comment already building in my head before I had even opened it.
Instead, I was impressed that a non Brit understands satire and can write so amusingly.
Oct 1, 2007 8:06 am Mood: Disappointed in people, 706 Views
Well, deregistering from school has been an interesting experience, in terms of finding out who our friends really are.
I e-mailed the mother of one of son number 1's friends to arrange about them getting together sometime. She replied to tell me she had spoken to her son who was "not that bothered" about meeting up with him again, so best not to organise anything.
R-i-g-h-t. Thanks for that.
Son number 1 has another friend we have tried to arrange playdates with, but every time she has cancelled at the last minute. We've given up now.
Next, son number 2 has a friend who he was very keen to keep in touch with. He's been to play with him a few times in the last few months and they were invited to T's christening the other week. His mother texted me that morning to say they weren't well and would not be able to come.
Fair enough, we all get ill from time to time.
Instead, we arranged for them to play together (at our house) this afternoon. It has been arranged for nearly a week. J was due to come round at 3pm after school.
At 1.30pm, I get a text to say they can't come because it is meet the Teacher day today.
So I phone her up: we only live 500 yards from the school, so we could just bring J home and his mum could follow when she has had her chat with the teacher.
Ah, but the other reason they can't come round is because she feels very ill with a headache and cold (cough, cough, cough, you get the gist), so they are just going to have school pickup, meet the teacher and then get home.
OK, great. It doesn't sound like an excuse at all.
Just leave it to me to break the news to my 6 year old that the friend he was expecting all day is not in fact coming round.
Luckily, we do also have some real friends, and one of them has a son who is glued to T's side whenever possible. Luckily, he is free this afternoon and more than pleased to come round. At least it takes T's mind off the friend that bunked off.
At the moment, I'm working on my laptop in front of the TV. Which is on VH1 channel, for background music.
There's an ad on at the moment which I first heard last night - it's one of those "want to spend £1.50 a week on totally pointless downloads?" ones, but this one takes the biscuit.
If you want to find out the perfect name for your future child, for only £1.50 a week you can text TOT to 80333 and they will tell it to you.
The thing is, if they text you the perfect name tonight, what on earth are they going to text you for the next X number of weeks until you wake up and realise you've been had?
And, if that's not enough, you can text MATE to the same number and they will text you (for the same £1.50 a week) the first initial of your perfect mate.... leaving it to you to work out who that might be.
I'm sorry, but how stupid are the people who listen to these ads?? There must be quite a few of them, to justify the cost of the adverts.
Text me a reply, but you'd better hope I don't already have your initial as my perfect mate - if I do, I warn you, I've already got our baby's name
Sep 29, 2007 6:04 pm Mood: Understanding at last, 803 Views
OK, many thanks to longhair for pointing out this little loophole. We must be quiet about this, so A.F.F. don't plug it.
Only gold members can see more than 5 photos that someone has on their profile. However, there is a sneaky way round this, by posting the photos in a blog post.
To show the main photo, you type in (I have added in spaces between the parentheses to keep the code) [ photo sexybitch362 ].
We bought some CD-Roms today, while we were at Staples. That's Staples, respected computer and business supplies business, right?
Well, one CD-Rom we bought is called Family Arcade Games, produced from Freeware and Shareware products by a company called iDigicon.
The first (and only) game son number 2 loaded was called Monkey Pong. He also clicked on the website link.
Should you wish to see the list of hardcore links he was exposed to, you might want to look at the website for yourselves. You can find it at chechesoft dot com.
I have obviously complained to both iDigicom and Staples by e-mail in the strongest possible terms.
(My unit manager did ask whether any of them were websites I had visited before in the past, cheeky wench ).
So, here's the background: the guy I met at my ex brother in law's wedding back in July is trying to impress me with music. Sadly, his taste is lacking, to say the least.
Try googling A Walk in the Black Forest (lift music at its finest), Rolf Harris' At the Court of King Caracatus and the hysterically funny Dance Yourself Dizzy (I don't think he thinks it is hysterically funny, that's the sad bit). I mean, I love 80s music, but somehow this stuff is corny even in my book.
He doesn't realise how close he is to not getting laid by keeping sending me this crap.
Anyway, I thought I ought to educate him, and mentioned my tastes lay more in the realms of Pachelbel, Mozart and Bach.
As far as I am concerned, Pachelbel's Canon is the most sublime piece of music ever, and can be interpreted in so many different ways. He'd never heard of it, even though it is the background theme in so many pieces of modern music. I love this music so much, I used to wake up to it every single morning (until we moved house and I lost the recording).
So I did a search on YouTube - incidentally, there is a fantastic organ version on there - and sent him some links.
But, and this is the new stuff I learned today, I also discovered two instruments I'd never even heard of before: the Glass Armonica and the Hydraulophone. Apparently Benjamin Franklin invented the Glass Armonica and it used to send people mad because of the lead in the glass which used to get under their skin.
People, get over there and get watching the videos. They are SOooooooooo cool. My kids want to build a hydraulophone now. Could be a messy project if they succeed.
That's a hydraulophone in the picture, by the way.
Have you ever come across an 8 year old boy who insists on staying up so he can watch King Lear on DVD? (the six year old just used the opportunity to build Lego models)
I wouldn't mind, but given that it was a 70s film, it was a pretty standard interpretation with Will Shakespeare's language very much to the fore .... so I had a lot of translating to do.
Now I'm tired out!
Proud but slightly bemused Mummy. Next time, I'll get them onto Ken Branagh's interpretations of Shakespeare. At least I know they'll sit through it now.
) ...
