According to maverick1255, my Cake Personality reveals:
"Lemon Meringue - Smooth, sexy and articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many friends."
Scarily accurate, apart from the fact that I'd never try and chew gum any time, let alone while doing something else. I'm so poor at multi-tasking, you know, that I forget to talk during phone sex if my hands are busy....
Now, before that distracts you completely, don't forget to check out my blog (especially those filthy, filthy stories ) ...
Oh, and if you're thinking about sex, please read Just fucking fuck me, already.. It encapsulates my thoughts and wishes very clearly.
This is a drama-free zone. Fakes, multiprofilers and people who write nasty comments about other people will not find a forum here.
This is a fairly half-formed post, so it might not come out. But it's always a good idea to get those thoughts in the pensieve while you can...
I mentioned that someone had recently tried to stir up trouble about my real life and my Adult FriendFinder life, and in fact had lied about what I do in real life (but close enough to what I genuinely do for me to know it wasn't a guess; they even mentioned the name of my business).
A number of Adult FriendFinder have got quite alarmed about this and started warning me about privacy etc. These are my thoughts on the matter.
Firstly, I don't give a fuck about who the person is. They are just trash who obviously have their own mental issues to deal with.
Am I scared of them? Hell, no! For one thing, they didn't actually say anything threatening. They just made it clear they knew of both my real life and my Adult FriendFinder life. And that seems to scare a lot of people.
It doesn't scare me because all my real life friends know I'm on Adult FriendFinder, and many of my Adult FriendFinder friends know my first name at least; many of them know what I do for a living. Being blessed (or cursed!) with not only an unusual first name, an unusual surname and also an unusual choice of vocation, it takes very little to Google me.
As one of my Adult FriendFinder friends did, just to prove she didn't even need my surname to find me.
So what? The thing is, yes, if you are a teacher called Sue Smith in the USA, you are pretty hard to find. Because there are loads of teachers, loads of Sues and loads of Smiths.
There's only one of me, and I got used to being recognised (from my name/job) a long long time ago.
Anyone could put this together and try to harass me in some way. The answer is not to try to make yourself invisible.
For one thing, that shows them they have some power over you, which might act as an encouragement. For another, unless you're prepared to go off grid and be self sufficient, it is pretty impossible to do these days.
I'm not prepared to go down the route of changing my name for email purposes etc, like a number of guys I have met have done. I am me. Deal with it.
Stalking is very easy to do. I know, because I've done it myself - got obsessive about someone, googled them, their family, followed up trails. In one case, I paid an investigator the grand sum of £20 to find an old boyfriend of mine. In another, a different old boyfriend of mine found me very easily by asking someone else what industry I was in.
Google is a very powerful tool.
But the point is that most "stalkers" (or information gatherers) have no evil intent. They may want to make contact, they may not. But why assume they mean you harm?
This is the same reason I get angry when my children are taught about Stranger Danger without being taught to assess situations for themselves: why should they be imprisoned by a fear of nameless strangers when the vast majority are well meaning towards them?
I too refuse to feel threatened just because one single person made a comment that could be threatening if interpreted one way. For all I know, it could be one of my mates got drunk and thought it would be a laugh (as it happens, I know it isn't, but that's not the point).
I refuse to overreact. I refuse to go off grid and try to erase all traces of me on the internet. I refuse to play the game of fear.
Instead, I'll enjoy my life, enjoy the interaction with my blogging friends and - if need be - enjoy getting a restraining order from the police against any loonies, if they really exist.
Do you hide your identity on the internet?
How?
And, if you have a loony following you (this is for Arti to answer!), what have you done about it?
Aug 2, 2008 5:26 am Mood: Keeping you informed, 863 Views
As from September, regular readers will know my boys are off to boarding school and I am opening a gym franchise. I will also be taking a part time job that has been pressed on me, given the uncertainties of the economic climate. Plus, we have changes ahead at my internet business.
Plus, I appear to have a man who wants the same kind of ongoing part time relationship that I do. Though I've thought this before - I won't consider it serious until he's been around for a year!
All in all, I'm going to be very busy once September comes around (making the most of August lolling opportunities!).
In addition, I had a comment from someone unknown to me on a post recently that appeared to be little more than an attempt to stir up trouble between my real life and my Adult FriendFinder life. Not sure what was behind it (other than the usual mental instability behind such people), but it makes me less interested in spending time here.
I don't have time to spend on negative energy. That's not the kind of person I am.
I have made many friends on Adult FriendFinder, some of whom I will stay in touch with via personal e-mail addresses. If you consider yourself a friend who would like to stay in touch but don't yet have my non Adult FriendFinder address, I'd suggest you contact me and we swap e-mail addresses.
Because at some stage I may well simply stop visiting here. I'll be sorry to say goodbye, but maybe the time is coming soon.
Aug 1, 2008 2:57 pm Mood: Motorhomeless, 833 Views
My exBIL has just e-mailed me a jpg of the cheque for £17,000 for my motorhome, which he sold on my behalf yesterday.
Although very sad to say goodbye to the old girl (I feel bad, now, that we never named her), I am very happy to see her sold. Having spoken to three motorhome sales companies in the last two weeks, I know that this is supposed to be the busiest time of year for them, and that it is incredibly flat, because of the economic climate.
I was therefore resigned to a long old wait to sell the motorhome, which I could really have done without.
But bravo to exBIL, who managed to sell it with a streetside sign, and for £1,000 more than I was prepared to go down to.
Big slap up meal for him and his wife when we get home.
....but it's nothing to this news story. It popped up on MSN earlier today, but when I googled it later, I can see it was being reported in the USA back in March 2008.
Who says we get the news a bit behind time? I guess someone thought it was so unbelievable it needed to be thoroughly checked...
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US authorities are trying to work out why a Kansas woman spent two years on her boyfriend's toilet - so long that by the time he called emergency services her skin had grown around the lav's seat.
When the unnamed 35-year-old Ness City woman's other half finally picked up the phone on 27 February to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend", police found her "sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh". She was, according to Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple, "somewhat disoriented", and apparently suffering from atrophied legs.
While she initially said she "didn't need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave", she was eventually convinced a trip to hospital was in order. Whipple explained: "We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital. The hospital removed it."
Whipple elaborated: "She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body. It is hard to imagine... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."
Investigators were yeserday due to present their report to the county attorney who will decide "whether any charges should be filed against the woman's 36-year-old boyfriend", as ABC puts it. [Note: charges were filed recently, which is why MSN picked this story up)
He reportedly told the authorities he'd taken his bog-bound squeeze food and water every day, and asked her "to come out of the bathroom". Whipple said: "And her reply would be, 'Maybe tomorrow'. According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."
The former privy prisoner is now described as "in fair condition at a hospital in Wichita, about 150 miles southeast of Ness City", but has "refused to cooperate with medical providers or law enforcement investigators". (Apparently she is going to support her boyfriend in court)
Neighbour James Ellis said he'd known the woman since she was a child but hadn't seen her for about six years. He explained that she'd "had a tough childhood after her mother died at a young age and apparently was usually kept inside the house as she grew up".
He concluded: "It really doesn't surprise me. What surprises me is somebody wasn't called in a bit earlier."
Jul 30, 2008 7:57 am Mood: Cheeked by my son, 714 Views
This morning, Bill (9) was upset about a girl. We ended up having a chat about relationships, and how kids of his age usually want to stay with their own sex for friendship.
I pointed out that his Dad was a later developer, but got there in the end. "After all, he married a great wife!"
I could practically feel the heartbeat before he put on his most surprised voice and said "I didn't realise you were his second wife!"
For me a perfect Friday night is a great dinner, a hot club, then back to my place for more intimate activities. On Sunday afternoons I like to get out of the house and go for a walk or a drive. To me, traveling means broadening horizons. Sexually, I'm open to anything. I want to try all the things I've always wanted to do. I'm in the mood for a creative fuck buddy in my life. I'm not changing my life, I'm just trying to make it more interesting. If you contact me remember that emails with a naked photo get special consideration. I look forward to putting a smile on your face.
I find these fascinating. I wonder if the people (usually men?) who use them realise how naff they are? Maybe they don't ever see anyone else's profile, so don't realise they are identikit in style.
I mean, even a buffoon can see that that came out of the profile generator, surely? For one thing, I see the exact same phrases bandied about everywhere.
I love the idea that "If you contact me remember that emails with a naked photo get special consideration" is presumably a tick box item of some sort!
And the lack of formatting also pisses me off somewhat. Can't Adult FriendFinder get someone to code the profile generator so it doesn't look like one big splodgy paragraph, and actually reads like a proper profile?
Ever used the profile generator?
What do you think it does to your hookup rates?
Am I too cruel to those who are too cowardly to show us their true selves by writing honestly?
Jul 29, 2008 5:22 pm Mood: Bringing you up to date, 706 Views
Well, as you'll have gathered, we got here yesterday. And the cleaner had been in first, airing and cleaning the house and even making the beds for us, which was nice! (Although I don't think she understands the concept of duvets, they were tucked in so tight).
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Last night I tried to set up my Livebox for our broadband connection, but it wouldn't play ball. Pissed me off a bit.
But on the plus side, I got to chat to a very sexy sounding Frenchman, who got it working for me. Mind you, I think he was only sounding sexy because he was speaking French. My God, I love this language!
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I did also find out some shocking news (my cleaner is an excellent source of gossip): my 6ft Tom Cruise farmer neighbour (for whom I periodically have the hots) has had cancer and chemotherapy in the year since we were last here. I haven't seen him yet, but I was truly shocked, far more than when my own husband had cancer. The truly gorgeous are supposed to be immune, aren't they?
Anyway, being one of the Body Beautifuls, and picking your girlfriend from the same shallow gene pool seems not to be such a great idea: doesn't look like she hung around once he got ill. Poor guy.
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I'm just laughing my head off: my 12 year old niece just came downstairs, white as a sheet. Apparently, she had just been thinking about dozing off to sleep when she opened her eyes to find a long legged spider hovering just above her face.
Doing a sliding move worthy of a limbo dancer, she came downstairs to ask me to rescue her.
I did. The spider's now dead (yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it's not the buddhist thing. So sue me).
Hopefully by now she's been able to get to sleep. I didn't tell her the average person apparently eats 3 spiders in their sleep in their lifetime - seemed unfair to traumatise her further (but you guys are fair game...)
I'm not sure I have. It depends on your interpretation of that word.
Urban dictionary offers a number of different suggestions -
1. An orgasm achieved from anal stimulation.
2. v. To expel forcibly from one's anus the blood, semen, fecal material, lubricant and associated materials after engaging in anal sex (oooh, nice!)
3. the really good feeling u get when u fart
4. The act of making a complete and utter ass of one's self.
5. To orgasm, from the anus
I'm ignoring suggestions 2, 3 and 4, and concentrating on numbers 1 and 5. Interestingly, number 1 got 125 positive and 21 minus votes, whereas number 5 got 35 up and 70 down votes, although I've have thought they would have similar sort of results.
Anyway, is an assgasm simply an orgasm you have from anal stimulation, or is it a different type of orgasm resulting from said anal stimulation?
Do you have assgasms?
Do they feel different from ordinary orgasms?
If so, please explain how.
The orgasm I had on Friday was what I would call an assgasm - he was fucking my arse, and I was playing with my clit. It was pretty intense (I guess, given that he put his hand over my mouth, as I was way too loud ), but I wouldn't say it felt different in nature from a normal orgasm.
But, replaying in my head a few memorable orgasms, my arse generally does tend to be involved, either via anal sex, analingus, my vibe up my arse during vaginal sex, or his fingers up there during cunnilingus.
So, is my arse the common factor? Should I insist on assgasms in future?
Today I noticed a new blog watcher, and I nipped over to check out his profile and read his blog.
I'd like to introduce you all to , and his blog, roger_the_hound.
It's been months (April I think) since I've seen warmandsexy52 around here, who has always been my favourite poet to date. But I think Roger could steal that title away with his wonderfully light limericks.
I do love a man who can scan
Also, I love a man who has this sort of honesty on his profile...
Curious and incorrigible. Married and struggling to like her as much as I love her. Pragmatic yet a dreamer. A searcher yet someone who is running from himself. A man with large appetites for many things and a bundle of contradictions. A devoted father, musician, frisbee enthusiast, runner, Limerick writer and an engineer.
Someone who knows the difference between like and love is someone who knows a little about relationships.
Roger, I hope you'll feel welcome in our little corner of blogland
Jul 27, 2008 3:00 am Mood: Still procrastinating, 745 Views
Sorry, excuse me while I try to talk some sense into myself.
Tomorrow morning at 8am, we go to France for a month. The list of things I haven't done (including any form of packing) is enormous. Any normal person would be getting their head down and getting it sorted.
Me, I'm about to go out for the day with the kids when I've had my shower.
Never yet managed not to make it on holiday, even if the house is sometimes left like burglars have been visiting while we were out.
Ever had sex with someone you used to be involved with, on a one off or irregular basis?
I lost my virginity at 18 to my first real boyfriend, D. We saw each other for two years at university. He then left and I took up with his best friend (soon to be former best friend!), G.
I had ex sex with D some years later, and he was thrilled to achieve an orgasm for me, because I had never had one with him before. That and knowing he was shagging his ex best friend's girl, of course!
Anyway, it was a one off (I seem to recall he had helped carry my shopping home for me!), and the subject just never came up again after that.
What about you? Ever shagged an ex? Did you regret it? Or maybe it brought you back together?
I'm only posting this because I love the term "ex sex," which I learned today!
Well, I'd never have said I have any kind of a pain threshold, but last night's partner in crime put the TV on quite loud because he was worried the people in the adjacent rooms might hear the sound of his belt. Very satisfying little crack. Actually, my bum's tingling at the thought....
) ...
), but I wouldn't say it felt different in nature from a normal orgasm.
