Who, What & Why  

ByteChaser2 53M
2834 posts
10/19/2005 10:44 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Who, What & Why

Just a little while longer, I promise and I'll get back to being my lovable, furry self again...

So. In my flailing about, looking for me - the whole me - I'm told that while on the right track, I'm just wide of the target. Hitting too far left of the bulls eye as it were.

A few givens... there are basically 3 major component parts of 'me'. The first one explored is the What piece. First, I needed to know what the world (or this little slice of it here) thought on it. What am I to you... An excellent perspective since what I am, in my own perception, is just a bit too ugly to gaze at for long.

Thankfully though, *what* I am changes over time. Only one what at a time but constantly evolving into a new, sometimes better but always different What.

The readers digest version: Deep, brooding, mysterious, an enigma. Sweet... compassionately firm, empathetic. If I had to put a single word label on it, I'd have to say *fog*. At least today anyway... Think about it for a bit and I'm sure you'll get it.

Next came the Who. How many lives can one man live?

Yeah, I think we've pretty well beat that horse to death. There's lot's of Who's. Only Dr. Seuess had the foresight and vision to put all his Who's in a village

Now before I take on the Why... I need to explain the who(s) and what(s)...

What I am is the core of me. That one thing that exemplifies my nature. The "real me" at any particular moment. It's my purpose and reason for being. In a spiritual context, it's my karma, the plan that the Universe has for me. And it's a relatively private thing.

I hide what I am from the world at large most likely because it's one of the most valuable things I have. It's mine... ALL MINE! and I'm not gonna share it with just anyone. But I will share it with a few...

Which segways into the Who I am part. Think of the Who as the Graphical User Interface... the GUI. Who I am is the outward facing persona I choose to present myself using. It's the who that interfaces and interacts with the others around me. A different and distinct Who for every occasion... Kind of like a pair of shoes for each outfit.

Now. Here's the hard part. The part that's been giving me fits and starts for a while now. Why.

See, until just a couple days ago, I really didn't recognize that there was some unaccounted for "substance" between what's inside and whats outside. And yesterday, I had thought it was the "stuff in between", that it was the mortar between the bricks that make up the whole of me. Well, that's not quite accurate... Close, but not it.

That's the why part. The stuff in the middle, not so much holding the Who and What parts together as much as allowing those who interface with Who I am, get inside to the What I am. A conduit if that makes any sense at all.

Why has only 2 states. Open and closed. Open means What I am is accessible to the outward facing "other" (through the "who I am" persona). Closed... well you get the point. Why comes complete with an on/off valve and... wait for it...

that valve is called acceptance.

No seriously, think about it. What's the never changing constant? Whats the reason, the Why, that allows another to see inside of me, to the real, no shit, What of me? Acceptance. When I accept you, for whatever reason, the valve opens and you get all the way into the *what* it is that I happen to be right then.

So, *slipping* all the way back to the beginning...

Yes, I can love for the simple sake of loving. That's the easy part. And Yes, I think I'm about ready to accept that I'm loved, assuming that there's an open acceptance of that other, for the simple sake of being loved.

And they all lived happily ever after.

rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
10/19/2005 7:28 pm

" And Yes, I think I'm about ready to accept that I'm loved"

YAAYYY for you

ByteChaser2 53M

10/20/2005 6:54 am

No lalala's! Breathing a sigh of relief

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