Sunrise of a New Year  

ByteChaser2 52M
2834 posts
12/31/2005 11:38 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Sunrise of a New Year

Man... lets see. 2005 ran in with a bang. As I recall, I was on the road in D.C., at one of my favored haunts in Georgetown, retching stale champagne into a bar towel, my lap and floor - in that order... Still got laid though.

That was the first holiday season I'd ever spent away from family. This make the second, in a row no less...

Not long after, I'd met "Her". All was right in my world then. For a couple years before, I thought there was nothing left for me but endless strife and ire with the battle-axe. Then "She" came skipping into my life.

It went great for a while but like most things in my little part of the Universe, it all came tumbling down around my feet in a flaming pile of shit.

My fault... The Universe was trying to tell me something and I wasn't listening.

That was back in April. A month or so after, I found the blogs - or rather I was lead here. I'd never thought to spill my guts out to anyone, much less to a whole community of people but that's what happened. I found my outlet, an extension of my journal. A place to set all the emotional clutter loose and finally be rid of it.

Through the weeks and months, posting the good and bad... and ugly... Hearing all the words of encouragement and from time to time, berated for my ignorance or opposition, it dawned on me that the lesson the Universe had been trying so desperately to teach me was that I didn't know dick about who or what or why I am.

Now, you want to talk about a quagmire of crap... just read back some... The struggles I had with myself seem trivial now, but my god... I thought it might kill me then. It almost did...

It's true by the way. Time really does heal all wounds. How much time really depends on you. I may yet not know who I am or what I'm suppose to do or why... but at least now I can look myself in the mirror and not cry. I can look at my scars and have a measure of comfort in the knowledge that I needed to be wounded.

And here I am, staring at the year gone past with a little grin, and looking forward to a new year ahead.

It's been a hard road this last year but, I can see the Apollo Sunrise on a new future.

All things being equal, it wasn't a half bad year

rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
12/31/2005 12:19 pm

*happy smile*

glad you made it through.

cuz what good is an Apollo Sunrise if theres nobody around to see it

ByteChaser2 52M

12/31/2005 12:48 pm

Smiling right back sj - I'm glad too, cuz if I hadn't, I'd have never seen the light of you peeking past the horizon and breaking on a whole new life.


ByteChaser2 52M

12/31/2005 3:12 pm

Hugs back atcha Katey! XXX

duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
1/1/2006 4:11 pm

Blogging is definitly theraputic. YAY for blogging! YAY for bloggers who support our little stories.


ByteChaser2 52M

1/1/2006 7:19 pm

YAAYYYYYYY Keeps me off the streets and outta the bars... or... ummm

LOL Diva

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