Criteria vs. Preference  

ByteChaser2 52M
2834 posts
8/11/2005 7:09 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Criteria vs. Preference

So... I took a foray into the profiles yesterday, you know... just seeing what kind of trouble I could get myself into. And I noticed this sort of oddity in the peoples descriptions of themselves and their "target" audience. The oddity wasn't so much what they were writing, but more what they weren't writing.

I'm talking about the concepts of Preference (what, if given the choice, they would want to have) and Criteria (those traits one MUST have in order to begin a successful dialogue).

So lets see if I can actually say this intelligently. I'll use me as my example... (there goes intelligence!)

My preference:

Physical: Short to medium height. say from 4'10" to about 5'6". Anything over that and she'd just be too tall in heels... Slim or athletic build. Say 90-125 lbs or so, depending on height... Long, wavy to curly hair. Dark blonde or auburn. Green or hazel eyes. Smooth skin with just a hint of peach fuzz. Small nipples on B-C cup breasts. A BELLY BUTTON PIERCING!. A butt with a hint of "bubble" - nice, pleasant to hold butt. Slender fingers, arms and legs and smallish feet.

Emotional: STABLE. Not prone to moodiness or extreme mood swings. Is able to express her feelings calmly. Not easily embarrassed. Generally happy and able to be serious when appropriate. Non-argumentative but by no means spineless. Sensitive, caring and nurturing.

Social: A people-person. Friendly, outgoing, approachable. A leader vs. a follower. A "Woman of the People" kind of person... Childlike without being childish. Open, honest and forthright. A "Giver" vs. "Taker".

Sexual: VERY. Tends to be "athletic" vs. "Acrobatic" in bed. Expressive and experimental, cuddler, kisser. Neither submissive nor dominant - Rather an equal. Prone to and appreciative of PDA. Has a bottle of EROS Body Glide in her purse at all times (devilish grin). Knows when to be affectionate and when to detach and leave me be. An exhibitionist at heart.

And now, at the risk of sounding like a chauvinistic pig... my criteria:

Female, heartbeat, 98.6, all critical systems functioning normally.

See where I'm going with this? I have this image of my "One". Maybe she's out there, or maybe she's just a product of my own warped sense of reality (back to the perception is reality thing). But if I'm living my life, searching the horizon for my preference, I'm missing out on all the millions of other people who are just as uniquely wonderful.

So, I'll probably be editing my profile in the near future, to better reflect BOTH my own preference AND my criteria.

Or maybe not...

patsam69 51M/51F

8/11/2005 8:57 am

LMAO!!! When I read your Preference, I was just gonna write...GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!!! But then I read your criteria and laughed. You are such a man.

HardlyYours4Now 52M

8/11/2005 9:03 am

I suggest a "meeting of the minds" between the two. Your criteria sounds a bit too open. I know very few self-respecting women who would think, "Now there's a guy who knows what he wants." On the other hand, your preference is a bit limiting. Imagine that woman who is exactly what you would want, other than being 4'9.5".

I'm also wondering if mentioning the belly-button piercing and the butt BEFORE any personality traits might be percieved differently by your 'target audience' than your intent would dictate.

Good god, I sound like Miss Manners. Forgive me, gentle reader.

ByteChaser2 52M

8/11/2005 11:44 am

patsam69 - lol... yeah, I know... I'm such a pig - oink oink -

ByteChaser2 52M

8/11/2005 11:54 am

Wellll That's not what's posted on my profile and hopefully, after all the extraneous blather is edited out - it's a fairly representative "middle of the road" description/laundry list of what I'd be looking for in a woman.

Thing is though, as a general rule, the profiles I'm seeing (the small portion I'm actually viewing) tend to fall one way or the other - ristrictingly detailed or one-liner vague... This posting was just meant to illustrate this observation as an example, using my own criteria/preferences rather than exposing anyone elses...

I know I'd be a sad, lonely man had I used either in my profile

14u24me34all 51M
235 posts
8/11/2005 4:35 pm

So,primarily we're looking for a pulse,correct?
"Roger,Rampart base,Standby,we're transmitting vitals..."

demonicsexkitten 41F
10671 posts
8/11/2005 4:58 pm

wow...! i guess mine uses lots of words but is, basically, a "vague one-liner" in disguise. "I want chest hair and a brain". lol.

ByteChaser2 52M

8/12/2005 8:32 am

14u24me34all - sure, a pulse is good. Not quite the point I was trying to make... but a strong, steady pulse is much better than none at all

demonicsexkitten - Yeah, that's good for criteria! But if it were greying, would it still count?

wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
8/12/2005 8:33 am

you have made a great point

but I need your HELP

read ~Must Read for ALL bloggers~ Are you sick of it?


Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

8/12/2005 9:35 am

great post, we often do not consider the difference.

ByteChaser2 52M

8/12/2005 9:44 am

And again... Just to clarify. The point of this post was in NO WAY meant to advertise to the community at large what it is I'm looking for/expecting. It's an observation of the kinds of profiles I've been reading. I only listed the preference and criteria to illustrate this observation.

That profiles, by and large, are either too detailed (thus restricting the available prospectives to at or very near nill) or simply too vague and non-descriptive (and far too open to interperatation).

No one is being singled out here. I'm not goading anyone to rush off and change their profiles. Just making an observation.

ByteChaser2 52M

8/12/2005 10:48 am

wyvernrose - You got it hun. Up and posted!

Philosophy_N_Sex - Hey there. Funny how we sometimes wander around with these notional blinders on huh? Sometimes a person just has to step back and take a look at things without any pre-conceived notions and see things for what they really are...

Barbiebunny69 43F

8/14/2005 2:19 pm

aww dammnit to witches body temp is 97.1 **giggle**
Loove the shower pic

ByteChaser2 52M

8/17/2005 2:18 pm

LOL Bunny! Oh, I'm sure a couple degrees one way or t'other wont warp my psyche any

ByteChaser2 52M

8/17/2005 3:12 pm

And just cuz I'm thoroughly disallusioned by them on the whole... I've updated mine. Pretty much says it all I think.

pretty_blue_eyes 38F
2091 posts
9/6/2005 6:34 pm

Well, I found your post that you were talking about. My, I'm no where near your "one". I'm 5'7", LONG brown hair with blonde highlights *it varies from 2-3 inches from my waist*, and blue eyes. No navel ring, but I do have other piercings. *wink* Oh, and your preference one? I run a low body temp of 96.9. See? I'm out all the way around!!!

ByteChaser2 52M

9/7/2005 9:41 am

lol pretty... I know I sound like a totally unreasonable, unbending male with the preference one and a complete tom-cat with the criteria! Maybe I'm just bi-polar?

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