Crankin the dial on the 'Way Back' machine  

ByteChaser2 53M
2834 posts
1/20/2006 6:48 pm

Last Read:
9/3/2006 9:56 am

Crankin the dial on the 'Way Back' machine


So... way back... when dinosaurs roamed the earth and little 3 foot apes first learned to fingerpaint on cave walls...

Ok... so I'm not *quite* that old...

So, in my mis-spent youth, I was an incredibly shy, insecure, thoroughly UNDER-sexed and - lets just call a spade a spade - socially inept little turd of a teen. Don't even think of doubting it either... lemme just clue you in on my "conquests" through highschool and well into my first enlistment in the Corps:

Three

You heard me... The first time, I'm pretty sure I was purposfully drunkened and rode like a yearling colt... The second was a complete fluke and to this day continues to boggle the imagination and the third was a toothless, purple-haired mama-san down "Engineer Alley" in Okinawa.

Oh, and just by the by... The military has an awesome spread spectrum antibiotic... You could sew a dead skunk into your own torso, while wading in a sewage pit, and still not get as much as a sniffle on this stuff...

Lets just say... for the sake of conversation... that I was indeed a babe in the wild wood. Only Pooh got less action, and I'm still contemplating that whole Pooh, Eore, Piglett love triangle...

So anyway... as I'm bareing my sexual history to you, in all it's pathetic inadequacy... I figured I'd fill ya's in on my latest "conquest"...

Left hand, 45 minutes... two squirts of lotion...

Damn I was good!

sexyeyes375 47F

1/21/2006 1:42 pm

That's damn fine lotion to last 45 minutes!!

and I thought my imagination was a bit askew.. (You could sew a dead skunk into your own torso, while wading in a sewage pit, and still not get as much as a sniffle on this stuff...)


southrnpeach333 50F

1/21/2006 5:20 pm

What do you fantasize about while you rub your left hand with your lotion?


boydcounty 67M

1/22/2006 8:16 am

I guess you type with your right hand

-boydcounty-


ByteChaser2 53M

1/22/2006 8:27 am

Hey sexyeyes - Your imagination wasn't askew... It was number three that predicated a healthy dose of some fashion of *cillin like antibiotic, and a nearly year long hiatus from sex in any form...


ByteChaser2 53M

1/22/2006 8:28 am

Yanno peach, funny as it might sound... fantasy really doesn't play a big role - in moisturizing my left hand...


ByteChaser2 53M

1/22/2006 9:16 am

lol boyd... something like that


ByteChaser2 53M

1/23/2006 5:07 am

Morning Candy, Welcome to the zoo You come back any time you like


ByteChaser2 53M

3/17/2006 9:44 am


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