All in...  

ByteChaser2 52M
2834 posts
6/11/2006 11:40 pm

Last Read:
6/18/2006 3:20 pm

All in...

Oh shit... Byte's gonna rant now.

Ok, so yeah... I'm developing an addiction to on-line Texas Holdem. But hey, admitting you have an addiction is halfway to being cured right? Yuh... anyway...

So, I've been playing in the free money rooms - usually the hundred/two hundred limit holdem rooms - and not doing too shabby. (Had) a decent Thirty K in "fun money" winnings and yeah, feeling pretty good about myself.

I soon realized that they have fun money tournaments. WAY cool! They have t-shirt prizes and bobble heads of these famous poker players and stuff... What a way to spend a couple hours in the evening right? I mean besides beating yourself in the head with golf shoes...

Now, in the regular rooms, I'm doing pretty decent. Holding my own and making a decent (fake) living at it. These tournaments on the other hand... Oh sweet merciful crap... I need every PAXIL I can lay hands to just to keep from tearing my own penis off with a barbecue fork for fun and profit!

And I know now the source of my deep seeded hatred for my newest addiction... All in's.

For you poker neophytes...

Texas Holdem is played thus... a total of seven cards are dealt. The first two cards are dealt to each player face down. A player can only see their own two face down cards. These are called "Hole" cards. Three of the remaining five cards are dealt face up and are community cards (all players use these three cards to make their hand). These are called the "Flop". The remaining two cards are dealt one at a time and are also community cards. They are called the "Turn" and the "River" respectively.

A round of betting begins after the hole cards are dealt... A SANE player may either fold, stay, call, bet or raise. A round of betting after each of the community cards are dealt as well.

An "all in" bet is one made, during no limit play (no limit means you can bet as much or as little as you like, if that feels warm and cozy nestled up your ass), is just that... Your betting every gaudily painted clay poker chip ya got.

An INSANE, booger eating moron will invariably bet all-in on the hole... Who, the ever-loving fuck, is brain-dead enough to know what kind of hand they will get by seeing TWO FUCKING CARDS!!??

I don't give a honey barbecued rats ass what cards are in the hole. They mean just this much more than dick when you calculate the nearly astronomical trigonometric calculations required to cipher the odds of getting a winning hand...

And yet... they do. I count on either sitting out or folding outright, the first 15-20 hands in a tournament simply because there's always an egotistical need by some ignorant ass hangers to go all in on the hole cards to what... compensate for a microscopic penis?

For the love of god... Get a monster truck, jack that puppy up on Boeing 747 tires and fly a flag off the tailgate if you got a small dick!

I personally equate all in on the hole cards with flying to London from California on a jet with no windows nor fuel gauge...

(inhale)

And another thing!!! Why is it that there's more hair on my ass than on my chest??? Can someone riddle me this?

I feel much better now


MaggiesWishes 59F

6/11/2006 11:44 pm

OK, get ready to bite the bullet... my dear friend in NYC, just called to tell me he won the 10k seat in Vegas for the TX Holdem Tourny in July. Yes, baby! Up for the prize of 10 million, no less. He's like only 28 yr old. Yea, I so want him to win

So, keep practicing.
Ya never know what may come your way
warm wishes 2ya


TabithaElectra79 37F

6/12/2006 6:19 am

s'all double dutch to me!


rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
6/12/2006 9:28 am

Similar to what Maggie said, a friend of mine plays online to qualify for the in person tournie stuff. He does pretty well, too.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


ByteChaser2 52M

6/12/2006 12:33 pm

    Quoting MaggiesWishes:
    OK, get ready to bite the bullet... my dear friend in NYC, just called to tell me he won the 10k seat in Vegas for the TX Holdem Tourny in July. Yes, baby! Up for the prize of 10 million, no less. He's like only 28 yr old. Yea, I so want him to win

    So, keep practicing.
    Ya never know what may come your way
    warm wishes 2ya
lol... I imagine if I don't have a spontaneous "All-In" melt down... I might MIGHT actually place decent in a tourney...

Somehow, I just don't think so tho


ByteChaser2 52M

6/12/2006 12:35 pm

Yep. Might just be wise to keep it thats way too Tabitha...

Your sanity will thank you


ByteChaser2 52M

6/12/2006 12:37 pm

    Quoting rm_1hotwahine:
    Similar to what Maggie said, a friend of mine plays online to qualify for the in person tournie stuff. He does pretty well, too.
So... it's a friend thing? I need more friends! Or more patience...

Mostly more patience but I'll take every friend I can get!


rm_justeunfille 56F

6/12/2006 3:55 pm

It is a very fun game and addictive too.. I have never played online...only in person w/real money..and I lost my shirt in the end.. really.

Good luck to you T.

DJ


ByteChaser2 52M

6/12/2006 5:14 pm

    Quoting rm_justeunfille:
    It is a very fun game and addictive too.. I have never played online...only in person w/real money..and I lost my shirt in the end.. really.

    Good luck to you T.

    DJ
lol... really? lost your shirt? or just couldn't find it the next morning...


rm_justeunfille 56F

6/12/2006 7:32 pm

lol.. lost it...but, as you noted, I did get it back the next day...

and to be honest, I wouldn't mind losing it again... (hint hint)

now on a diff matter. .the hairy ass thing..sorry I missed that bit earlier... not sure why that is.. but you have a bit of fluff all about you.. and looking at your ass as I type, it doesn't look so hairy.. you've got down all over actually... bet it is soft...so stop your bitching.


ByteChaser2 52M

6/13/2006 6:43 am

    Quoting rm_justeunfille:
    lol.. lost it...but, as you noted, I did get it back the next day...

    and to be honest, I wouldn't mind losing it again... (hint hint)

    now on a diff matter. .the hairy ass thing..sorry I missed that bit earlier... not sure why that is.. but you have a bit of fluff all about you.. and looking at your ass as I type, it doesn't look so hairy.. you've got down all over actually... bet it is soft...so stop your bitching.
Soft... yeah... when compared to a wire brush... lol


rm_justeunfille 56F

6/13/2006 4:15 pm

Silkditty is sooooo right.. so don't worry about T....and if you need one of us to ck your ears, let us know....


ByteChaser2 52M

6/18/2006 3:15 pm

    Quoting rm_silkditty:
    never gambled online but:

    I wouldn't worry so much about more hair on your ass than on your chest. It's when there is more hair on your ass and coming out your ears than hair on your head that is critical.
Checking... Do you measure by the yard or pound on that ear hair???


ByteChaser2 52M

6/18/2006 3:20 pm

    Quoting rm_justeunfille:
    Silkditty is sooooo right.. so don't worry about T....and if you need one of us to ck your ears, let us know....


k. Bring a tape measure... and lunch. Cuz it'll be a loooooong day


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