Why did she do that?  

ButteryDelight 58F
1961 posts
6/19/2006 12:37 pm

Last Read:
7/4/2006 4:23 pm

Why did she do that?


For those of ya that don't know me very well, I don't get angry very often. I am very good natured and easy going, willing to go around the block in order to avoid a confrontation. I despise arguments and will give in rather insist that my viewpoint is "right"

All that flew out the window today while I was at the local K-Mart. My daughter and I were shopping for paper goods for the wedding. As we walked past the toy isle I heard the sound of a slap and the loud cry of a child. I froze at a stand still right there in the middle of the isle. I wasn't sure what I should do or even if what I heard was really what I thought I heard. I looked at my daughter and could see by her face that she thought the same thing I did. Some one had just struck a child.

Following the sobs, I wheeled my shopping cart around and went down one isle over from the still crying child. I stopped and my daughter and I unashamedly eavesdropped. The mother was talking to her girl, telling her that no she could have such and such toy, and that they were here to buy a gift for a cousin's birthday. The mother sounded very hassled, as only a busy mother could sound. Another child's voice pipped up whining that he was tired and thirsty and a third child's voice joined in with the whining. The mother responded in a loud, angry voice by asking "Do Ya all want a spanking, cause that is exactly what you are going to be getting if you don't stop all this whining and complaining". Now, I ask ya people, what child is going to answer that question with a yes? Of course mommy, give me a spanking? I just really, really want one!

Naturally the children responded to her threats with more loud cries. One child's voice shook so I guessed that the mother was shaking that child as she yelled SHUT UP!JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, WHY DON'T Ya? I didn't wait to hear any more, I wheeled my cart down that isle and right over to the next one. As I was coming up on the four of them,I saw the mother release the child's shoulders that she had been shaking and reach out to slap another one in the face. Grrrrrrr. I was so angry I know steam had to be coming from my ears. I could hear my daughter murmuring about how that was no way to discipline a child as she followed right behind me.

I sailed up behind the woman and said, "If you strike any of these children again, I will call the police"! I meant every word too. The woman spun around and proceeded to yell at me. This was none of my business. This was between her and her children and she could discipline them as she saw fit. Then my daughter jumped into the argument by saying No, you can't! My daughter continued to try and reason with the angry mother by saying there are other ways to discipline children then a slap on the face. While this was going on between my daughter and the mother, I took the time and looked the children over. They were clean and well dressed and had no visible bruises on them. All three had stopped their screaming as soon as I started speaking to their mother and were now standing there all innocent like.

Well, I knew better then to think that they had not been aggravating their mother. But, as I looked at the them, two with obviously red faces from receiving the mother's slaps, I just had to say that striking a child in the face was wrong. The mother got all defensive at that point and wheeling her shopping cart around she marched off towards the front and the registers. She was not going to listen to me or my daughter.

My daughter and I stood there shaking our heads as we watched her leave. I could not help but wonder what was going to happen to those children once they got home. I also wondered if I had done enough to stop the mother. Maybe I should have called the police after all.

So, what do you think? Was I out of line? Is the mother correct in saying that it is none of my business? That she can discipline her children as she sees fit? Is it acceptable to strike a child in the face? How do you discipline your own children?

I still get angry when I think of the way that mother treated her children. Grrrrr. Ok..taking some deep breaths here.


wickedeasy 66F  
25470 posts
6/19/2006 1:23 pm

i was told by DSS that intervening with a mother or parent in a public venue often leads to further punishment for the child - so i have learned to get license plate numbers, etc.

i don't believe in corporal punishment, i was never struck as a child and don't believe it does anything other than reinforce that being bigger means you get to hit smaller people. what an odd lesson to teach a child.

my mom talked us to a coma - grins
i talk too - but hopefully a bit less

kids need to understand the whys - a slap can't tell them that - the lesson learned is anger and violence

what a shame and bravo BD for you and your daughter

WE

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


rm_Melciber 61M
214 posts
6/19/2006 1:29 pm

I have two kids - 18 and 16 (nearly 17) and when they were young I slapped them - either their hand or their thigh depending on what they had done. The slap was always appropriate and not in anger. The smack was delivered at the time of the infraction. I used it as guidance to wake them up to inappropriate behaviour. I don愒 think it was ever out of control - that is to say it was a slap and not a smack or a hit.
They didn愒 have temper tantrums with me. They respect me. They love me very much.

I too cannot bear to see children abused. It is so distasteful to see it in public and to know that it probably goes on in private - it may not be physical because verbal abuse can wound just as deep, maybe deeper.
I hope that your smack to this woman,BD, woke her up to her behaviour. Well done.


GlialSewerEuler 69M
73 posts
6/19/2006 1:54 pm

When My children were small we did swat them on the behind if they got out of line and it worked for us. I don't think that a slap in the face is ever alright no matter what! Unfortunately today we have children raising children and there is no kind of training for them.I got spanked the way we spanked our children but not in a way that was abusive. I think that kids need to have rules and have them enforced. My children turned out to be responsible adults and never abused their children, so I think our form of diapline was the right way to go. I have heard women trying to reason with a 1 or 2 year old child as if they could understand what was at stake. They are too young to know what's best for them. I know people who let their kids wear wahtever they want and it is pretty sad the things they do in the name of not damaging them. Our purpose in life as parents is to guide our children thru their lives based on our experience. Kids just don't have the experience to make those kind of choices, for instance they would choose a cookie over a balanced meal, but parents are content to let them do as they wish just as long as they are quite! WE chose to keep the things from them they liked when they were bad and they learned that good behavior resulted in rewards! We also didn't take our kids out when they were young because we didn't want to inflict their bad behavior on the public. We deprived ourselves of many of the things we did before they came along because we thought that was the responsible thing to doand the kids came first. That's the way things have to be if you have kids


ohcurious14 59M
1683 posts
6/19/2006 5:27 pm

I Imagine i would of done the very same thing Buttery.


MamChelle 48F  
1443 posts
6/19/2006 11:31 pm

As you know i am a Nanny. Never would i slap a child in the face! It angers me to see such a thing...i'd probably been a lot more in the mothers face about the issue than you and your daughter were. i am fiercely protective of the babes. As for proper disciplen in an unharried manner however i am not against a spanking or a slap to the hand in appropriate manner and timing of the infractions. i do think that the womans actions as you depicted was abusive behavior with the line of questions, and the slaps to the face ....and shaking. Hell yeah BD you were mild compared to what she'd have heard from me!! c


ButteryDelight 58F

6/19/2006 11:50 pm

    Quoting wickedeasy:
    i was told by DSS that intervening with a mother or parent in a public venue often leads to further punishment for the child - so i have learned to get license plate numbers, etc.

    i don't believe in corporal punishment, i was never struck as a child and don't believe it does anything other than reinforce that being bigger means you get to hit smaller people. what an odd lesson to teach a child.

    my mom talked us to a coma - grins
    i talk too - but hopefully a bit less

    kids need to understand the whys - a slap can't tell them that - the lesson learned is anger and violence

    what a shame and bravo BD for you and your daughter

    WE
wow, WE I didn't know that. I sure hope I didn't make things worse for those children. I didn't think about the license number but I will remember it for the next time.

I used corporal punishment when my children were young, under 7 years of age. I always waited till I was not angry. The I said this what you did_______ This is the consequences for choosing to do it. When they grew older I took away privileges such as getting to stay up late or watching more t.v. I NEVER struck my children in the face.


ButteryDelight 58F

6/19/2006 11:57 pm

    Quoting rm_Melciber:
    I have two kids - 18 and 16 (nearly 17) and when they were young I slapped them - either their hand or their thigh depending on what they had done. The slap was always appropriate and not in anger. The smack was delivered at the time of the infraction. I used it as guidance to wake them up to inappropriate behaviour. I don愒 think it was ever out of control - that is to say it was a slap and not a smack or a hit.
    They didn愒 have temper tantrums with me. They respect me. They love me very much.

    I too cannot bear to see children abused. It is so distasteful to see it in public and to know that it probably goes on in private - it may not be physical because verbal abuse can wound just as deep, maybe deeper.
    I hope that your smack to this woman,BD, woke her up to her behaviour. Well done.

Melciber..I think a parent needs to figure out what will work for correcting their child and what will not work. I saw many children during my years as a teacher. And not all of them responded well to corporal punishment.


ButteryDelight 58F

6/20/2006 12:03 am

    Quoting GlialSewerEuler:
    When My children were small we did swat them on the behind if they got out of line and it worked for us. I don't think that a slap in the face is ever alright no matter what! Unfortunately today we have children raising children and there is no kind of training for them.I got spanked the way we spanked our children but not in a way that was abusive. I think that kids need to have rules and have them enforced. My children turned out to be responsible adults and never abused their children, so I think our form of diapline was the right way to go. I have heard women trying to reason with a 1 or 2 year old child as if they could understand what was at stake. They are too young to know what's best for them. I know people who let their kids wear wahtever they want and it is pretty sad the things they do in the name of not damaging them. Our purpose in life as parents is to guide our children thru their lives based on our experience. Kids just don't have the experience to make those kind of choices, for instance they would choose a cookie over a balanced meal, but parents are content to let them do as they wish just as long as they are quite! WE chose to keep the things from them they liked when they were bad and they learned that good behavior resulted in rewards! We also didn't take our kids out when they were young because we didn't want to inflict their bad behavior on the public. We deprived ourselves of many of the things we did before they came along because we thought that was the responsible thing to doand the kids came first. That's the way things have to be if you have kids
That is so true, ontheloose. Children should come first in our lives. And what was she thinking? Taking three young children out to buy a birthday present for a cousin when naturally her own children wanted a present too. It was also obvious she had had them out way to long and they were tired and hungry.

Thank you for reading and commenting.

Buttery Delight


ButteryDelight 58F

6/20/2006 12:07 am

    Quoting ohcurious14:
    I Imagine i would of done the very same thing Buttery.
I hope so ohcurious. There needs to be more of us speaking up.
Thank you for your comments.

Buttery Delight


ButteryDelight 58F

6/20/2006 12:10 am

    Quoting MamChelle:
    As you know i am a Nanny. Never would i slap a child in the face! It angers me to see such a thing...i'd probably been a lot more in the mothers face about the issue than you and your daughter were. i am fiercely protective of the babes. As for proper disciplen in an unharried manner however i am not against a spanking or a slap to the hand in appropriate manner and timing of the infractions. i do think that the womans actions as you depicted was abusive behavior with the line of questions, and the slaps to the face ....and shaking. Hell yeah BD you were mild compared to what she'd have heard from me!! c
Chelle,
I think there is an appropriate time for discipline. A k-mart at 1:00 in the afternoon is not the right time nor place.

Thank you for reading and commenting.

Buttery Delight


ButteryDelight 58F

6/20/2006 5:43 am

    Quoting rm_mzhunyhole:
    Spank..OK..Slap in the face..I don't think so..good for ya..she shouldn't have done that to her children in public..she asked for it.
My point too, MizHuny. Thank you for reading and commenting.

Buttery Delight


pearlnecklace22 53F
41 posts
6/22/2006 2:06 am

Buttery another good blog I have no children but I would feel the same way


ButteryDelight 58F

6/22/2006 7:58 am

    Quoting pearlnecklace22:
    Buttery another good blog I have no children but I would feel the same way
Thank you so much for reading my blog pearl. I appreciate it.

Buttery Delight


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