To Sir..or not to Sir..that is the question  

ButteryDelight 58F
1961 posts
5/29/2006 9:01 pm

Last Read:
6/10/2006 5:22 pm

To Sir..or not to Sir..that is the question


I have had many helpful suggestions since I have joined this site. Everyone has been so kind, trying to help out the Newbie to understand the BDSM lifestyle. There is just one thing that really puzzles me. And that is on the subject of how to address a Dom or Domme. I have been told that if I am sure they are a Master or a Mistress to ALWAYS address one as Sir or Madame or Ma'am.

This is not really a problem for me. Seeing as how I grew up in the South and was taught at an early age to address all males as Sir and women as Ma'am. I was brought up believing that it was politeness and showed good manners to address males and females as such. To this day I yes Sir the postman.

Now, please understand, once I got to know them, these males and females, the tone of voice used was very different and denoted great respect such as when talking to my father or grandfather. It became more then just parroting an expected response.

Others on this site have also told me that the title of Sir or Ma'am should not be given until it has been "earned". Some have said it is only the older Doms and Dommes, the "hard liners", and "old Schoolers" that require the Sir and Ma'am. I am not sure what all that means. Earned? Earned how? In what way? And what are "Hardliners" and "Old Schoolers"? I sometimes feel that I don't know how to unlock the secret code yet to understanding all these terms.

Now, please don't misunderstand me. I am not trying to be a Smart Ass here, all though that term has been used to describe me. Mostly from my brothers. I am also not trying to stir up trouble and conflict. I really want to KNOW. I don't want to offend anyone or appear stupid by not doing what I should be doing.

So readers of my blog, what IS the correct way to address a Dom or Domme? Please respond and let me know what you think.


lastchance472 61M
19 posts
5/30/2006 5:56 pm

Buttery, I'm not into the Master/sub lifestyle. All I like to do is have sex during a bondage session. Once that session is over, I'm just a regular guy (and she is a regular girl). So, I guess I can't answer that question.


wickedeasy 66F  
25411 posts
5/30/2006 6:48 pm

buggah - i hate this type of thing - it makes me want to scream and run. galina is (as always) right on the money.

if it floats your boat - go for it. if it feels uncomfortable - don't. i only call one Man, Sir. i occasionally bow to someone out of respect. and there are Doms and Dommes that i just love to tease.

bottom line - there is NO bottom line. what feels right for YOU is what you do.

and if some wannabe sycophant decides to give you grief about it - tell him/her to kiss ass.

my first day in the room, i waited at the door to be invited in. A Dom named Gent009, said to me - no need, not here and i took him at his word. the room is the room. real time is real time and when you meet someone who warrants the honorific - you will know.

hugs and smooches from one smart ass to another

WE

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


MamChelle 48F  
1443 posts
5/30/2006 9:29 pm

BD, i address those who demand such of me...and those i know for a fact deserve that respect.Galina and wicked both are correct, that unless demanded otherwise do as you are comfortable. Hardliners is a term used to describe lifestlyle Tops that demand a certain amount of protocol in a way of showing and or establishing their dominance of a person or situation. Old Schoolers refers similarly except that they are the few who refuse to accept that the level of protocol has become outdated in todays nilla as well as LS world, so they continue to expect the attention of titles and heiracy in rank.


ohcurious14 59M
1683 posts
5/30/2006 10:04 pm

Very good question ButteryDelight. When I am in the prescence of any of my subs privately they know to address me as Sir. I leave it at the subs discretion as to when or when not to if we are in a public place where non-lifestylers may or may not accept it. Once my submissive,Naughtyblonde78 is collared then she knows to address me as Master. All other times it should be whatever you are most comfortable with.
Hope that answers your question.


ButteryDelight 58F

5/30/2006 11:47 pm

    Quoting Js_nymph:
    Darlin'
    my suggestion is do what comes naturally, as in the rest of WIITWD (what it is that we do) that is really the only way to be. If you are comfortable calling everyone Sir or Ma'am, then do so, and let whomever objects...object. All of this is really just on line BS anyway. In real life you will know Who is Dom/me and who is not just by their demeanor and "auroa." i swear, They tend to radiate power and wisdom. Online the only way to tell is by how They treat others, and how They react to situations...words are the medium here, and it is easy to be fooled by someone who "talks the talk", but never has "walked the walk" *hugs* i hope this helped
Thank you, Galina it does indeed help. As I said earlier I am used to addressing people as Sir or Ma'am. But, the tone of voice I use is very different to one I respect, then to one I am just being polite to. *hugs*


ButteryDelight 58F

5/30/2006 11:49 pm

    Quoting lastchance472:
    Buttery, I'm not into the Master/sub lifestyle. All I like to do is have sex during a bondage session. Once that session is over, I'm just a regular guy (and she is a regular girl). So, I guess I can't answer that question.
Chance,
Everyone is different. Each to their own and what makes them happy. Thank you for reading my blog. I hope you will return.


ButteryDelight 58F

5/30/2006 11:56 pm

    Quoting wickedeasy:
    buggah - i hate this type of thing - it makes me want to scream and run. galina is (as always) right on the money.

    if it floats your boat - go for it. if it feels uncomfortable - don't. i only call one Man, Sir. i occasionally bow to someone out of respect. and there are Doms and Dommes that i just love to tease.

    bottom line - there is NO bottom line. what feels right for YOU is what you do.

    and if some wannabe sycophant decides to give you grief about it - tell him/her to kiss ass.

    my first day in the room, i waited at the door to be invited in. A Dom named Gent009, said to me - no need, not here and i took him at his word. the room is the room. real time is real time and when you meet someone who warrants the honorific - you will know.

    hugs and smooches from one smart ass to another

    WE
Easy,

I too love to tease and kid people. And LOL..I don't tell people to kiss my..well you know. BUT..I DO think it! I am who I am. And a life time of saying Sir and Ma'am is difficult to break. I will continue to be myself and others will just have to accept me as I am, faults , Sirs and Ma'ams included. Hugs to you too, you Smart a, you..


ButteryDelight 58F

5/31/2006 12:01 am

    Quoting MamChelle:
    BD, i address those who demand such of me...and those i know for a fact deserve that respect.Galina and wicked both are correct, that unless demanded otherwise do as you are comfortable. Hardliners is a term used to describe lifestlyle Tops that demand a certain amount of protocol in a way of showing and or establishing their dominance of a person or situation. Old Schoolers refers similarly except that they are the few who refuse to accept that the level of protocol has become outdated in todays nilla as well as LS world, so they continue to expect the attention of titles and heiracy in rank.
MamChelle,

Thank you for the explanations of Hardliners and Old Schoolers. I will muddle along through this learning period and see what happens at the end. Thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you will return and reply again.


ButteryDelight 58F

5/31/2006 12:07 am

    Quoting ohcurious14:
    Very good question ButteryDelight. When I am in the prescence of any of my subs privately they know to address me as Sir. I leave it at the subs discretion as to when or when not to if we are in a public place where non-lifestylers may or may not accept it. Once my submissive,Naughtyblonde78 is collared then she knows to address me as Master. All other times it should be whatever you are most comfortable with.
    Hope that answers your question.
Yes, Ohcurious that answers my question. But, now I have another one. I hope that is all right? Ok. So, if my Sir demands it of me to address him and other Doms as Sirs..you are saying I should do so? I don't have a problem with that. I would think that doing what He required of me is what I should do.


fancy_for_you 39F
3014 posts
5/31/2006 12:09 am

Buttery,

Don't feel alone. I myself am now feeling lost in the BDSM lingo. I am intrigued by the lifestyle and have been reading up on it thanks to Ohcurious and NaughtyBlonde's help and understanding. I am currently trying to come up with a list of questions for them both.

As far as calling someone Sir or Mistress.....well it's all up to you and what you are comfy with. Like me I already call OC, Sir at times....it just seems natural. I was raised Sir is for men who I respect and let me tell ya after OC being so kind and caring and understanding with me he has my respect. Guess you could say that is where he "earned" it.

Fuzzy
aka fancy_for_you

~~Fuzzy~~


pearlnecklace22 53F
41 posts
5/31/2006 12:23 am

Very good blog and some very good questions. A Master is another title for Dom, a Mistress/Lady is a female Dom.I am a subbie to my Master. I hope this helps you understand,if a person enters and has the title of Master/Dom or Mistress/Lady then its proper to address them as Sir or Maam. Also if the person introduces themsleves or as a persons Master/Mistress then Sir or Maam is the proper way to address them.
The difference between a subbie and slave is that a subbie has rules and a contract and a slave has no rules or contracts its up to the Master/Dom or Mistress/Lady discression.
I know it can be confusing, but no true Master/Dom or Mistress will not get upset if you ask


rm_Melciber 61M
214 posts
5/31/2006 5:41 am

BD - I don´t have much to say on the subject, but I still want to throw in my tuppenceworth. Pearlnecklace asked me if I am a Master - to which I responded "No - but thanks for asking."

In the Basement there are all kinds of folk - and some just hang out there because it is a good place for intelligent chat with good, fun people. I know that in the past (say 4 years ago) it was very different and protocol ruled - as it does in places in .Alt - but those days are gone here.

I would say that if you have met someOne, somewhere and have formed a contract - then you behave accordingly in the Basement - otherwise, in the words of the wise wickedeasy "if it floats your boat - go for it. " (it is online and irredeamable after all)

What is this life - if not for learning?


ButteryDelight 58F

5/31/2006 11:40 am

    Quoting Js_nymph:
    i can't help but object to pearls simplification of titles...a Master is not merely another title for a dominant. They are two separate kinds of people. To me (and i must say to me, because everyone has their own interpretation) a Master is an accomplished and well trained dominant who actually owns a slave. Without a slave a Master is merely a man with domanant tendancies. And as far as a slave has no rules or a contract? again i beg to differ. Most i know do have contracts and more rules to follow than there are tax codes. a slave is a slave when she gives up all rights to her Master. her only remaining right is the right to leave. (and that right is debatable) but again...this is only my humble opinion.
So, now there are Masters and Slaves as well as Doms and Dommes? Is it any wonder that I am confused. I can only hope that if I tread on someones toes they will inform me and I will render an apology to them. I hope someday to experience this in real life and will know what to do when the time comes.


rm_CuummDrop 48F
2591 posts
5/31/2006 11:42 am

i can't express what already has been expressed... and said.. Buttery, do what is right for you, what feels comfortable to you.. simply said ~smiles~

me~c

Now won't last forever, so use it wisely~c


ButteryDelight 58F

5/31/2006 11:44 am

    Quoting __JVT__:
    BD...I have to agree with galina and easy. I wouldn't get overly concerned about the honorifics on here. Do what you feel comfortable with. It's been my experience that the louder they protest when you don't call them Sir or Maam...the bigger the fake they are.
JVT, So far If they say it's not necessary to call them Sir, I reply it is necessary to me That seems to be working rather well. Thank you for your reply and I hope you come back to read and comment again.


ButteryDelight 58F

5/31/2006 11:51 am

    Quoting fancy_for_you:
    Buttery,

    Don't feel alone. I myself am now feeling lost in the BDSM lingo. I am intrigued by the lifestyle and have been reading up on it thanks to Ohcurious and NaughtyBlonde's help and understanding. I am currently trying to come up with a list of questions for them both.

    As far as calling someone Sir or Mistress.....well it's all up to you and what you are comfy with. Like me I already call OC, Sir at times....it just seems natural. I was raised Sir is for men who I respect and let me tell ya after OC being so kind and caring and understanding with me he has my respect. Guess you could say that is where he "earned" it.

    Fuzzy
    aka fancy_for_you
Nice to meet another one new to the BDSM lifestyle. Yes, Fancy, The Sir seems very natural to me too. Thank you for your comments about the earning aspect of this. And thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you visit again.


ButteryDelight 58F

5/31/2006 11:57 am

    Quoting pearlnecklace22:
    Very good blog and some very good questions. A Master is another title for Dom, a Mistress/Lady is a female Dom.I am a subbie to my Master. I hope this helps you understand,if a person enters and has the title of Master/Dom or Mistress/Lady then its proper to address them as Sir or Maam. Also if the person introduces themsleves or as a persons Master/Mistress then Sir or Maam is the proper way to address them.
    The difference between a subbie and slave is that a subbie has rules and a contract and a slave has no rules or contracts its up to the Master/Dom or Mistress/Lady discression.
    I know it can be confusing, but no true Master/Dom or Mistress will not get upset if you ask
I found one of the poems I wrote form my brothers, Pearl. I added it to the Memorial Day post I did.

Thank you for your comments Pearl. I have learned one thing it is that BDSM has variations. Such as the contract that you mentioned. Some use written contracts some do not. Some use "Safe Words" some do not. It probably boils down to what it IS that you and your One want from the relationship. Thank you for visiting my blog and come back soon.


ButteryDelight 58F

5/31/2006 12:03 pm

    Quoting rm_Melciber:
    BD - I don´t have much to say on the subject, but I still want to throw in my tuppenceworth. Pearlnecklace asked me if I am a Master - to which I responded "No - but thanks for asking."

    In the Basement there are all kinds of folk - and some just hang out there because it is a good place for intelligent chat with good, fun people. I know that in the past (say 4 years ago) it was very different and protocol ruled - as it does in places in .Alt - but those days are gone here.

    I would say that if you have met someOne, somewhere and have formed a contract - then you behave accordingly in the Basement - otherwise, in the words of the wise wickedeasy "if it floats your boat - go for it. " (it is online and irredeamable after all)

    What is this life - if not for learning?

Yes, Melciber..it is that "protocol" that you are talking about which concerns me. I hope to learn a lot during my life time.

Thank you for visitng my blog. I hope you will return.


ohcurious14 59M
1683 posts
5/31/2006 1:04 pm

    Quoting ButteryDelight:
    Yes, Ohcurious that answers my question. But, now I have another one. I hope that is all right? Ok. So, if my Sir demands it of me to address him and other Doms as Sirs..you are saying I should do so? I don't have a problem with that. I would think that doing what He required of me is what I should do.
Yes Buttery you should do as required of you by Dom/Domme. If you have any uneasyness it should be Communicated as well. There are many Dom/Domme's who do not permit this and though I will not speak for any nor will I object either for it is in the Communication that these things are layed out. In my case with Naughtyblonde78, Even though i am the Dom, she always has and will always have a voice. After all WIITWD is mutual anyhow. We use a 3 level Dom /Submissive mode. Level 1 is pretty much vanilla and is when we are in general public and noy around lifestyle people. In this instance we address each other as Sir and Ma'am. This shows the respect that each deserve. Level 2 is a as the opportunity arises use the aspects of the lifestyle with the understanding that there is neither a right or a wrong decision made but is only controlled by the people we are surrounded by. Level 3 is total Lifestyle mode. It is understood if Level 3 is called NB is to be on her knees at my feet ready to serve. In most instances this is only involved in our play sessions. I give her all the respect in the world as she does me. We both understand that not everyone approves of the lifestyle and of course they don't have to either, and we have chosen to not put anyone in a position of feeling they are being compromised.


BadAssBlonde1 56F
4989 posts
5/31/2006 1:11 pm

*Strolls through* ... Gorgeous, lina is writeon! Personally, I feel that the title should be earned. However, it is what makes YOU feel comfortable. Old Guard is alive and well. The wanna Bee's will always show their colors ... bless their little heart.

Smootches, to you BD.

House of Lady Hunter
©

After all the sex is gone, there is the mind - Lady Hunter / BAB

Copyright © House of Lady Hunter 1998-2009


ButteryDelight 58F

5/31/2006 6:38 pm

    Quoting ohcurious14:
    Yes Buttery you should do as required of you by Dom/Domme. If you have any uneasyness it should be Communicated as well. There are many Dom/Domme's who do not permit this and though I will not speak for any nor will I object either for it is in the Communication that these things are layed out. In my case with Naughtyblonde78, Even though i am the Dom, she always has and will always have a voice. After all WIITWD is mutual anyhow. We use a 3 level Dom /Submissive mode. Level 1 is pretty much vanilla and is when we are in general public and noy around lifestyle people. In this instance we address each other as Sir and Ma'am. This shows the respect that each deserve. Level 2 is a as the opportunity arises use the aspects of the lifestyle with the understanding that there is neither a right or a wrong decision made but is only controlled by the people we are surrounded by. Level 3 is total Lifestyle mode. It is understood if Level 3 is called NB is to be on her knees at my feet ready to serve. In most instances this is only involved in our play sessions. I give her all the respect in the world as she does me. We both understand that not everyone approves of the lifestyle and of course they don't have to either, and we have chosen to not put anyone in a position of feeling they are being compromised.
Thank you Ohcurious, Sir. The reason I addressed you as Sir is as respect to one who is more knowledgeable and experienced in WIITWD than am I. I appreciate your answers to my questions. I have been doing some reading. Books and articals on BDSM. I may have more questions at a later date. If that is acceptable.


ButteryDelight 58F

5/31/2006 6:42 pm

    Quoting BadAssBlonde1:
    *Strolls through* ... Gorgeous, lina is writeon! Personally, I feel that the title should be earned. However, it is what makes YOU feel comfortable. Old Guard is alive and well. The wanna Bee's will always show their colors ... bless their little heart.

    Smootches, to you BD.

    House of Lady Hunter ©
Thank you LadyHunter for visiting once again. I am not a wanabee..I am a GONNABE..

Not sure if I should smooch ya back. So, I will smile instead.


miz_attitude 53F
150 posts
5/31/2006 9:50 pm

ok ButteryD you asked for it ... LOL my first post to any blog
not sure how it will be accepted ~shrugs~ but at this point not really sure i care either
i personally do not call anyone i have not met Sir or Ma'am .... i have respect for some on line and i believe if they are not my Dom or Domme then i am showing respect by correctly typing their name that they decided they wanted to be called by ... if they capped it then i do also if they didn't then neither do i ....
as for calling everyone Sir and Ma'am i don't do it cause i am not comfortable with it ...
if you wanna call em Sir and Ma'am go ahead no skin off my nose..
as for Master/slave Dom/sub lifestyle old school old guard leather and the rest of it walk before you try to run LOL ...

and this was a question you could ask in the room when people tell you to shut up you are causing fights tell them they are able to leave the room if they don't want to chat it out

~huggs~
mizzy


ohcurious14 59M
1683 posts
5/31/2006 9:56 pm

    Quoting ButteryDelight:
    Thank you Ohcurious, Sir. The reason I addressed you as Sir is as respect to one who is more knowledgeable and experienced in WIITWD than am I. I appreciate your answers to my questions. I have been doing some reading. Books and articals on BDSM. I may have more questions at a later date. If that is acceptable.
Yes you may Buttery ask anything at anytime.I'm an open book. Don't take all i say as gospel either for I am still learning and there are so many here as well I have a deep respect for as well. I will not bullshit you, that I promise. I'm honored that you have asked. I Thank You kindly.


ButteryDelight 58F

5/31/2006 11:14 pm

    Quoting rm_CuummDrop:
    i can't express what already has been expressed... and said.. Buttery, do what is right for you, what feels comfortable to you.. simply said ~smiles~

    me~c
That you for your comment CuummDrop. I am sure I will figure it all out eventually. Please come back to my blog again when able.


ButteryDelight 58F

5/31/2006 11:29 pm

    Quoting ohcurious14:
    Yes you may Buttery ask anything at anytime.I'm an open book. Don't take all i say as gospel either for I am still learning and there are so many here as well I have a deep respect for as well. I will not bullshit you, that I promise. I'm honored that you have asked. I Thank You kindly.
I am not naive, Ohcurious,Sir. I have read enough of your blog to know that you know what you are talking about. I thank you for answering my questions. Just as I thank the others who have done the same. I appreciate it greatly.


ButteryDelight 58F

5/31/2006 11:38 pm

    Quoting miz_attitude:
    ok ButteryD you asked for it ... LOL my first post to any blog
    not sure how it will be accepted ~shrugs~ but at this point not really sure i care either
    i personally do not call anyone i have not met Sir or Ma'am .... i have respect for some on line and i believe if they are not my Dom or Domme then i am showing respect by correctly typing their name that they decided they wanted to be called by ... if they capped it then i do also if they didn't then neither do i ....
    as for calling everyone Sir and Ma'am i don't do it cause i am not comfortable with it ...
    if you wanna call em Sir and Ma'am go ahead no skin off my nose..
    as for Master/slave Dom/sub lifestyle old school old guard leather and the rest of it walk before you try to run LOL ...

    and this was a question you could ask in the room when people tell you to shut up you are causing fights tell them they are able to leave the room if they don't want to chat it out

    ~huggs~
    mizzy
LOL, Miz. You are so funny. And I am honored that you would take the time to post to my blog. You know the reasons I didn't ask this question in the basement. The first one being I have adult ADD and it really helps me to have something written down that I can refer back to later. The second and last reason is that over the past several weeks I have asked so many questions that most people groan and hide when I come into the room I wish I had a bolder personality Miz. Because there is no way I would tell some to leave the room if they didn't like the discussion I had started. I would be the one leaving the room. Thanks for your response.

ButteryDelight


BadAssBlonde1 56F
4989 posts
6/1/2006 6:40 am

    Quoting BadAssBlonde1:
    *Strolls through* ... Gorgeous, lina is writeon! Personally, I feel that the title should be earned. However, it is what makes YOU feel comfortable. Old Guard is alive and well. The wanna Bee's will always show their colors ... bless their little heart.

    Smootches, to you BD.

    House of Lady Hunter ©
One thing to keep in mind, it is an all together thing online _vs_ real time, IMO. I do not expect nor require those that do not serve me to address me as anything other than BAB. For my submissives and slave on this site, you will notice a different tone with them. They know what I expect. Expectations are a funny thing, either online or real time. However, I think it is most important to keep in mind that online people can be whatever they want to be. It sounds like your background is an asset to WIITWD and feel that you are one. When you feel comfortable to join a munch or social you will experience and know how to address folks. It can be simply seen with their direction.

Respectfully,
House of Lady Hunter © 2006


After all the sex is gone, there is the mind - Lady Hunter / BAB

Copyright © House of Lady Hunter 1998-2009


BadAssBlonde1 56F
4989 posts
6/1/2006 6:56 am

    Quoting miz_attitude:
    ok ButteryD you asked for it ... LOL my first post to any blog
    not sure how it will be accepted ~shrugs~ but at this point not really sure i care either
    i personally do not call anyone i have not met Sir or Ma'am .... i have respect for some on line and i believe if they are not my Dom or Domme then i am showing respect by correctly typing their name that they decided they wanted to be called by ... if they capped it then i do also if they didn't then neither do i ....
    as for calling everyone Sir and Ma'am i don't do it cause i am not comfortable with it ...
    if you wanna call em Sir and Ma'am go ahead no skin off my nose..
    as for Master/slave Dom/sub lifestyle old school old guard leather and the rest of it walk before you try to run LOL ...

    and this was a question you could ask in the room when people tell you to shut up you are causing fights tell them they are able to leave the room if they don't want to chat it out

    ~huggs~
    mizzy
As far as I am concerned, the room is/has been lacking the quality it once had. That is why I seldom go in. What happen to continuing ed? Yes, Old Guard with all that Leather stuff does still live. However, it doesn't make you one. Nor does the Patience that once existed with the new comers. As far as asking something in the room and being told what to do ... well, bottom line ... I don't think anyone owns that room. It's kinda like this; I will tell someone to shaddup if they interrupt me, or back away from the crack pipe in a minute. Hell, several times I have been known to _snip_ a few. I do that in real life. BD has received more help from those involved in WIITWD from blogging, IMO than she would have in "the room" . Mz. you and I have discussed the Ma'am thing, and I agree with you on this issue. Actually, I do recall when you first entered the room; several years back with all the Ma'am and Sir lingo and I told you then to just call me plain ole' BAB . LOL ... My, how time flys.

Lady Hunter - From the Original "This Ole' Basement" *Strolls off singing...RESPECT, Aretha Franklin.


After all the sex is gone, there is the mind - Lady Hunter / BAB

Copyright © House of Lady Hunter 1998-2009


miz_attitude 53F
150 posts
6/1/2006 8:11 am

~grins~ geez BABs thanks for remembering me as a newbie brawler to the room LMAO ...
i remember you had a different name back then and yes there was many discussions in the basement about people calling others Sir and Ma'am thats why i figured the room is a good place to discuss it .. i remember well late into the night discussion about a lot of things concerning BDSM it was a fun place to learn where everyone was allowed to have an opinion i learned much from some of the old timers ~grins~ i would name em but they know who they are ...
often i don't read blogs unless someone asks me too or says hey ya know what so and so has an awesome blog up you should read it although i can see how this is helpful i use to just ask the person that said something i wanted to remember to please email me ~sighs~ back in the day when we could email and perv profiles ...... ok thats it i am doing my own blog ... ty ButteryD now ya got me started


~mizzy~


ButteryDelight 58F

6/1/2006 10:21 am

Quoting Miz__attitude : ok thats it i am doing my own blog ... ty ButteryD now ya got me started

LOL Miz..you are so welcome And abig welocme to Blog land! I for one will read our blog. Readign blogs gives me something to do when I can not sleep at night


ohcurious14 59M
1683 posts
6/1/2006 10:34 am

    Quoting ButteryDelight:
    I am not naive, Ohcurious,Sir. I have read enough of your blog to know that you know what you are talking about. I thank you for answering my questions. Just as I thank the others who have done the same. I appreciate it greatly.
You are very welcome Buttery.


MamChelle 48F  
1443 posts
6/1/2006 12:01 pm

BD, i am so thankfull as you remind me some of the energy and drive of other up and comming persons in this LS that i have had the pleasure of knowing. GONNABE! i liked that! This community is greater for you being here asking the questions some only assume to know. And as you come to see the stark difference between onliners and lifestylers you will find it easier to determine to whom your questions are better asked here. Offline as galina stated one can sense and see the power some Dom/mmes just naturally exude...and the bs fades away very quickly. As for asking in the room ...please don't stop..it is so nice when i slip in to find an actual on topic discussion going on!! It beats the discussions of movies choices and favorite foods that too often goes on because the netplayers as i call them, have only read or watched things related to the LS...

It's ones like you that want to come real, that bring us oldtimers in the LS into that basement. you stimulate U/us and such questioning and debate brings the bdsm back into that stale room! It may seem like it is starting something because it is! It is starting the very things that room was set up for...discussion of bdsm and WIITWD! Like Butter...the creame always rises to the top and will embrace you.
This LS is all about personal growth!

*wishing you the best *hugs* c


DizzyKittie81 35F

6/1/2006 2:50 pm


Yup....yup......yup..... oh wait was about to sing a song.....

First off.. I would like to say butterey i love your writting, you don't babble and put me to sleep. I like that!

As for your question when it comes to calling people "reason i say people" Sir or Ma'am is totally up to you. Now me personally i dont call anyone Sir or Ma'am unless i have met them in person and see fit that they deserve the title. For them to deserve the title is like proving that they are who they are and who they claim to be. Anyone can call themself a Dom or Domme and doesnt mean they are one. You can call yourself a cantelope and that doesnt make you one (thank you Paso Sir)

See I personally thought you call a dom a Sir a sub a sub... and even did the A/all bit. but i got taught outta that right away (thank you ZD Sir and Kyphi) maybe My ways of learning don't fit into the internet world.I used to think they were the same.. the internet and real life.... there not. Boy did i get that beaten outta me "literally"..... (again thank you Kyphi lol)

See you gotta do what makes YOU feel right. Everyone is different every couple is different. If we all were the same, there would be no reason for us to even be having this discussion. No reason for the basement no reason for learning. You dont, and will not learn everything in BDSM. The fun part of it all IS the learning.

Ok before i bore ya and put ya to sleep.... I personaly dont call anyone Sir or Ma'am unless i know them in person because to me that is a Title that is to be earned. Earned by proving they are who they say they are IN PERSON, not in IM... not on the phone.. Not one of these newbie subs who become Dom of 20+ years over night.

ok hope this helped ya out a little bit and not put you to sleep. Have a good one, Talk with ya later


ButteryDelight 58F

6/2/2006 5:43 am

    Quoting MamChelle:
    BD, i am so thankfull as you remind me some of the energy and drive of other up and comming persons in this LS that i have had the pleasure of knowing. GONNABE! i liked that! This community is greater for you being here asking the questions some only assume to know. And as you come to see the stark difference between onliners and lifestylers you will find it easier to determine to whom your questions are better asked here. Offline as galina stated one can sense and see the power some Dom/mmes just naturally exude...and the bs fades away very quickly. As for asking in the room ...please don't stop..it is so nice when i slip in to find an actual on topic discussion going on!! It beats the discussions of movies choices and favorite foods that too often goes on because the netplayers as i call them, have only read or watched things related to the LS...

    It's ones like you that want to come real, that bring us oldtimers in the LS into that basement. you stimulate U/us and such questioning and debate brings the bdsm back into that stale room! It may seem like it is starting something because it is! It is starting the very things that room was set up for...discussion of bdsm and WIITWD! Like Butter...the creame always rises to the top and will embrace you.
    This LS is all about personal growth!

    *wishing you the best *hugs* c
MamChell,

I don't think I CAN stop asking questions. At least not for very long. It seems to be in my nature to do so. I am also impulsive. This causes some, shall I say, some embarrassment to me? If you read my blog I hope you read what happened on my birthday. Sometimes things just pop out of my mouth. And then my foot pops in. Guess it's a good thing I have a big mouth. *grins. Thanks for reading and writing a reply.
Buttery Delight (BD)


ButteryDelight 58F

6/2/2006 5:53 am

    Quoting DizzyKittie81:

    Yup....yup......yup..... oh wait was about to sing a song.....

    First off.. I would like to say butterey i love your writting, you don't babble and put me to sleep. I like that!

    As for your question when it comes to calling people "reason i say people" Sir or Ma'am is totally up to you. Now me personally i dont call anyone Sir or Ma'am unless i have met them in person and see fit that they deserve the title. For them to deserve the title is like proving that they are who they are and who they claim to be. Anyone can call themself a Dom or Domme and doesnt mean they are one. You can call yourself a cantelope and that doesnt make you one (thank you Paso Sir)

    See I personally thought you call a dom a Sir a sub a sub... and even did the A/all bit. but i got taught outta that right away (thank you ZD Sir and Kyphi) maybe My ways of learning don't fit into the internet world.I used to think they were the same.. the internet and real life.... there not. Boy did i get that beaten outta me "literally"..... (again thank you Kyphi lol)

    See you gotta do what makes YOU feel right. Everyone is different every couple is different. If we all were the same, there would be no reason for us to even be having this discussion. No reason for the basement no reason for learning. You dont, and will not learn everything in BDSM. The fun part of it all IS the learning.

    Ok before i bore ya and put ya to sleep.... I personaly dont call anyone Sir or Ma'am unless i know them in person because to me that is a Title that is to be earned. Earned by proving they are who they say they are IN PERSON, not in IM... not on the phone.. Not one of these newbie subs who become Dom of 20+ years over night.

    ok hope this helped ya out a little bit and not put you to sleep. Have a good one, Talk with ya later

*grins..Gee Dizzy, I am so glad I don't babble and put you to sleep with my writtings. BIG SIGH. If I babbled, maybe I could put MYSELF to sleep. Now, thats an idea. On second thought, if I started talking to myself someone who have me committed lol. Thank you for your commemts Dizzy and come back to my blog again.


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