Making the grade  

ButteryDelight 58F
1961 posts
8/23/2006 6:48 am

Last Read:
9/2/2006 9:58 pm

Making the grade

Keeping in touch with your family is a great thing. I hope all of you do. As I was talking on the phone to one of my sisters last night, the conversation gradually turned to memories of our child hood days. Every thing was fine until my sis said that there was one thing that happened when I was 13 and she was 12. This one instance was something she had never forgotten nor has she forgiven me for what I did.

I was very curious as to what it was that she had never forgotten. Sis went on to say I should remember it too, but I hadn’t a clue as to what she was talking about. To jog my memory sis described how one day I had borrowed a necklace of hers with out asking. I got into her jewelry box and took the necklace and wore it to school. Since we went to the same school, sis saw the necklace and asked to have it back. I told her I would return it when we got home from school. Well, when I changed clothes for gym class I put sis’s necklace on top of my clothes in the locker. Unfortunately, when I returned to change back into my regular clothes sis’s necklace was gone. I searched everywhere for it as did my friends. The necklace was gone. Probably someone had stolen it. I was upset and felt guilty that sis’s necklace had been stolen. I remember telling sis on the way home from school and seeing her cry when she learned the necklace was stolen. I told her I was sorry and offered to replace the necklace with one of my own or to buy sis a new necklace but she didn’t want either of those. Sis didn’t talk to me for a week cause she was so upset about the necklace.

It totally blew me away that sis still remembered about that necklace. Not only did she remember but she still was upset and resentful about it, even after all the years that had gone by. I felt terrible that sis was still hurt about that necklace I took. I apologized again but sis said she didn’t think she could ever forgive me for that. It seems the necklace was one of my great, great, great grandmother’s. It was given to the oldest daughter when she was born and was to be given to the oldest daughter’s first girl. I didn’t know that when I took the necklace. I just saw something I liked and so I took it.

It really hurt my feelings when sis said she didn’t think she would ever forgive me for taking that necklace. It also irritated me that she hadn’t really forgiven me for it. I asked her if she was keeping a record, a grade book, of all my past mistakes? Was she keeping score, maybe writing things down? Mentality keeping track of all the things I had done wrong? And why was she doing that?

Of course sis denied she was keeping record, grading me on my past mistakes. But, it felt like to me that she was. I’m never going to make “the grade.” I’m always going to make mistakes and I think I need to be forgiven for them. I don’t think the past mistakes should be brought up over and over again. That only causes pain and bitterness,

The conversation became awkward and we ended the call a short while later. Now, I have to deal with my guilty feelings. I do regret what I did and I wish sis would forgive me and then forget it ever happened.

Do you keep a record of past mistakes? Do you keep bringing up past wrongs instead of forgiving and forgetting? Or are you like me and have had some one continually bring up your past mistakes?



digdug41 49M

8/23/2006 12:22 pm

BD I have a hard time forgiving myself for all my past transgressions and it only makes it worse when I am reminded of them but other than that I just say ya gotta live and let die some cant do that but I find it necessary in my case

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


Dustywidgettoo 60M

8/23/2006 12:53 pm

Hi there. Come and bring an invitation if you can. If not come anyway


ButteryDelight 58F

8/23/2006 2:01 pm

    Quoting digdug41:
    BD I have a hard time forgiving myself for all my past transgressions and it only makes it worse when I am reminded of them but other than that I just say ya gotta live and let die some cant do that but I find it necessary in my case
I agree Dig. I a very hard on myself and it doesn't help when other can not forgive and forget.

Buttery Delight


ButteryDelight 58F

8/23/2006 2:07 pm

    Quoting Dustywidgettoo:
    Hi there. Come and bring an invitation if you can. If not come anyway
Dusty..i haven't a clue as to what you are talking about as your comment has nothing to do with what i wrote.

Buttery Delight


ButteryDelight 58F

8/24/2006 10:31 am

    Quoting rm_mzhunyhole:
    I never dwell on the past and wouldn't throw up something bad to someone else..too bad your sis does that to you..so far long gone..why now..what does that change?
That's what I was wondering, Mizhuny. It's over. It can't be changed. Lets move on.

Buttery Delight


ButteryDelight 58F

8/25/2006 7:31 am

    Quoting spunky11961:
    I'm like you,My sis and my mom both "keep a record" it really bothers me at times!
    ~spunky
yes, spunky. It bothers me and discourages me when they do that.

Buttery Delight


Become a member to create a blog