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A distraught lover along the river....
A distraught lover along the river....
I’m sitting across from a friend (let’s call her friend #2) of a friend (#1) listening to her tell me how much she loves friend #1. Confused yet? Well, me too.
She’s got it bad. I mean really, really bad. She’s traveled halfway across the country to see friend #1 and she wants him to ask her to stay. Permanently. However, there are a few small issues that each person must clear up first. For her, it’s an issue of the husband that ignores her and her three kids a thousand miles away. For him, it’s the wife and two kids across town. As dysfunctional as each person and their families probably are, these are mammoth issues that appear insurmountable.
The truth is, while she is willing to solve this domestic puzzle, he is not. He likes his position in the game. To him it is a game. To her, it is everything. Her emotion runs so deep it may truly be “love”.
As we sit by the river watching people walk by, she tells me of the things he says to her. I sit, listen and begin to understand why she is so deeply touched by this man. He says things to her that soul mates might say to each other. Deep things. Intimate.
At this point my mind drifts from the conversation. I believe I see the bigger picture of their relationship that her feelings have masked. For all the intimate poetry and declarations of desire he throws to her, his actions tell such a different story. I won’t go into those actions but they are clearly visible to all involved. Maybe she’s totally blinded by her emotions. Maybe she’s not. Perhaps she likes the sex and attention that lacks so much in her home life. I’ll never know, however, something bizarre comes into my mind. Something that has nothing to do with anything I’ve thought about in years.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Theory. Yes, that’s right, basic psychology. I have nooooo idea where this thought emerged from. Perhaps the three top-shelf margaritas or the Jack-n-Coke. This girl is sitting on level three (Love needs) and never reached level four (Esteem needs). We can forget about the final level five (Self-actualization needs). She’ll never get there unless something changes in her life.
After pondering this for a few minutes, I decided it was time to turn off my brain and just listen while admiring the lights reflecting off the water.
11/26/2005 12:47 pm
Well, first of all, I feel for this friend of yours. Poor woman. She should have realized the #1 rule for a married woman. That is... DONT DATE/SEE/FALL IN LOVE WITH MARRIED MEN!!!! This guy I have been "seeing" who is married (I broke my rule, I didn't know he was married, he LIED) long story. He hates my rules but I am right! Married men never leave. They get comfortable with their home life and will never have the balls aka courage to leave their wife. It doesnt matter that every night he goes to be thinking about his mistress... he will NOT leave. He would rather live a life of dishonesty, BOREDOM, unfulfillment and adultery (cheating on this wife, he supposedly loves SO much) than to leave her! |
Married men want it all. They want the stable family life... holidays with family, dinner on the table when he gets home, his laundry washed, dried, folded, pressed and hung and on the other side he wants FUN!!! That naughty, adulterous affair. He wants the adventure. He wants that sassy # that will fuck him 50 different ways and leave him breathless and wanting more.. BUT if he falls in love with her... He will never leave his wife for her... pathetic. Okay, this is your blog and I am rambling...lol. I should copy this onto my blog and get a bunch of pissy responses from Married men...lol. It might be fun, what do ya think Brett?
BTW, Give your female friend a hug and tell her to let go of this married man, he has no intention of really loving her and leaving for her. Tell her to stick to single guys...