Perfection vs. Effort and Attitude?  

BransonLuvFest 50M/49F
84 posts
1/17/2006 5:23 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Perfection vs. Effort and Attitude?

A wise man...maybe a woman, I don't know...once said that life is not about a destination, but about the journey.

When it comes to what we find attractive in others, we are far more attracted to people who demonstrate a serious (but not obsessive) and well-rounded effort to constantly improve their appearance, fitness, health, intellect, economic situation, relationships, and personality than we are to people who actually meet our subjective ideals of "perfection."

In our experience, most of the folks in that very small minority of humanity who actually exemplify our ideals of perfection got there mostly through no substantial effort on their own part. Some people are just born beautiful, talented, smart, or lucky. Some are born to substantial wealth and privelege. When we have met such shining examples of humanity, we have soon discovered through conversation that they "arrived" at this destination largely due to fate, the efforts of others, or genetics. That is not to say that SOME of these fine specimens have not ALSO worked hard to be the way they are, but MANY do not. And virtually all of them had some sort of substantial "head start" handed to them by the cosmos.

Regarding physical appearance, health, and fitness, a LOT of us were "beautiful people" in our teens and twenties. Some of us held onto that coveted status well into our thirties. But the "Big 4-O" tends to take it's toll on most of us. And the very few that forty doesn't get will definitely fall out by 50 or 60. That is, except for Hugh Hefner and Raquel Welch, we guess. But there is at least one exception to every rule. Right? Let's face it, most 20 year old girls are not physically attracted to middle-aged men. And the same is true for 20 year old guys and middle-aged women. But there was that one wonderful fling I had with that sexy 47 year old lady when I was 22. Again, an exception we guess. She didn't look a day over 30 and I, like many young men, was "in the market" for an older woman. But I was shocked at just how old she turned out to be! But we digress.

Discussing this, we both recollect that we were not drawn to the "cream of the crop" even when we were numbered among the "beautiful people" ourselves. Instead, we both tended to be more attracted to the next group on the social ladder: those who worked hard to be great, attractive, clean, intelligent, successful people who were fun to spend time with. Most of these folks were very physically attractive in their own right, but they weren't going to show up in Hollywood or on the cover of Cosmo or GQ antime soon. The ladies were the "2nd prettiest girl at the party." The guys had girls who had crushes on them and sought their attention. But there was always someone just a little more eye-catching in every club or at every party. I think we all know the type.

We found that these "second rungers" actually had to make a real effort to be who they were. They weren't born to be skinny forever, so they had to exercise regularly to stay fit. They were smart, but not MENSA members. And they had to study to educate and stimulate their minds. Culturally, if they were "out of their element," it wouldn't take long for them to come up to the challenge. They would do what it took to get there. The ones who weren't rich from their parents' fortune took money and career pretty seriously and had obvious ambitions. They had genuine self-confidence born of overcoming advertisty through work and skill. They knew who they were and who they wanted to become. And they were confident that they would eventually get there or die trying. But, at the same time, they didn't take it all too seriously. Most of all, they didn't take themselves too seriously. They were fun to be with. They were going places. They knew the value of investing in others' happiness and success. They knew everyone needs help sometimes. They valued relationships and loved people in general. And they knew deep down in their hearts that it was all supposed to be fun. And when it stopped being fun, it was time to make some adjustments. Their accomplishments were the fruit of combined effort and fortune. It wasn't all just fortune. And they understood that you it wasn't all about looks, or brains, or money, or prestige. They knew it was about a combination of all of the above. These were the "second rungers."

Of course, we ourselves were on the upper end of this "second wrung" category or in the lower half of the "beautiful people" in all respects back then. It's hard to tell which for sure. Maybe that explains why we were more attracted to them than to the "beautiful people." Perhaps it's all just "second wrung snobbery." Now there's an interesting thought to ponder! Perhaps we actually felt too superior to that twenty something guy who looks like he just stepped out of GQ magazine pulling into the valet parking lane in the bright red Ferarri his daddy bought him for college graduation for us to ever be more than superficially attracted to him. Maybe we actually looked down on the girls in their twenties with personal trainers and image consultants who had time every day to work out for 3 hours while normal people were at work or school, and who had to do nothing more to earn a living than stand around looking pretty while fashion designers draped clothes on their perfect bodies and snapped photographs. It's definitely worth thinking about.

But, in the end, none of it matters. We are ALL attracted by what attracts us. And we aren't suggesting those people weren't attractive to us, just that they were not our first choices.

We're wondering what all of YOU think. Are you attracted more to people who have somehow captured your ideal of perfection, or are you more drawn to and aroused by people who are obviously making a serious effort to get there in spite of the fact that they obviously never will without taking the whole thing too seriously?

rm_PurryKitty2 48M/49F
9753 posts
1/17/2006 6:12 pm

I am more aroused by someone making a serious effort!

Great post!!!

Purry {=}


BransonLuvFest 50M/49F

1/17/2006 8:40 pm

Purry, you and Sail still seem to be in the "beautiful people" category pushing 40. Our hat is off to you. Despite what I posted above, we neither resent nor envy you your beauty. But, best of all, y'all seem to have a great attitude about life and love. And that's cool!

rm_cockmerollme 45F
1223 posts
1/21/2006 12:25 am

I am perfect. I believe myself to be beautiful, and very gifted that I can walk into a room and just know, without a doubt, that I have the best vagina in the room.

Once I put my head into it, I can do anything. No one will ever hold me down again.

I am woman..hear me run over you with my car....


BransonLuvFest 50M/49F

1/21/2006 5:14 am

Do I know you? I had a girlfriend back in the early 90s who had that attitude and tried to run over me with her car when we broke up.

sexinthecity10 58M/58F
2 posts
1/21/2006 12:13 pm

I will try to follow your bloggs...few can state whats in front of finger dexteritity needs work..but provacative and persawasive(see!!) Good thought's!!! Steve

BransonLuvFest 50M/49F

1/21/2006 12:53 pm

Thanks, Steve. I do appreciate the support.

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