|Blogs > BonnieBoy2 > Diary from the Floating World|
Every story starts somewhere
Every story starts somewhere
Well, here goes: my first blog entry. If you stick with me, gentle reader, you will be led down some deep and twisting corridors of narrative. Some of this tale is dark indeed, but lately, the light has been shining so bright I think there may even be a happy ending. But we never know till it's over. And is a person's story ever truly over?
Where to begin? I suppose I will start at the present and work backwards, except as random time travel seems to make sense or just because ... because.
I've been on AdultFriendFinder now for almost a year. Since then I've:
o left my wife
o had an incredible cyber-affair with another woman (not through this site)
o had incredible sex with that same woman
o told that same woman we shouldn't see each other because ...
o I was getting back together with my wife
o Meanwhile, I fell in love with bella_ and count her as a friend, although we've yet to meet.
o Made good friends with a woman from this site (no nookie yet, though )
o Oh, and I'm having a cyber/phone affair with a lesbian who secretly wants to experience sex with a man. How hot is that???
So it's been a roller coaster ride. Through it all, though, I've found a new feeling of power and energy that had been stifled over the years. I've realized that my life has much bigger things in store than I was letting myself experience. I'm not exactly sure why I've been holding back, but the last year has been about letting go.
Maybe, that's why my fortunes on AdultFriendFinder have been so minimal: in trying to attain new relationships, I've run counter to the flow of letting go. I've spent a lot of time on this site (way too much time! lol) pitching myself, trying to impress the women I decided I wanted. It rarely came to even a reply (what's up that? Are you ladies just SO overloaded with horny guys' emails you can't even respond with "Thanks but no thanks"? Guys, am I the only one who feels invisible here?). This effort of trying to meet someone is grasping; it is the opposite of letting go.
Lately, though, I've discovered something I guess I've suspected about myself but haven't had a safe way to explore it and that is exhibitionism. I've certainly enjoyed watching the web cam action on this site, but recently got my own cam working. My heart was pounding the first time I realized a woman was watching me touch myself online. It is still a thrill. (Guys, if you watch, that's ok, I don't think I can stop you, but I'm really straight. Not narrow, I can appreciate a nice looking man, I'm just not wired to want sex with you. I like girls. Boy, do I like girls!). In just putting myself out there "on stage" I've felt rewarded and flattered, sexy. I've even had a couple of women (you know who you are) chat with me during and tell the naughty things we'd do together. I have to say "I LOVE that!"
So I don't seem to have a point today. This is just the intro to my world. I'm curious to see if I'll get any comments here. In my next post, I'll probably talk more about the women who are in my life right now. They are an interesting bevy, I can tell you that now.
"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why they call it the present." -- Babatunde Olatunji
9/8/2005 5:34 pm
Wonderful first post...I consider you a friend also...and thank you for that. I hope all is going well...let me know |
10/3/2005 8:39 am
Enjoy your writings!|
10/3/2005 9:55 pm
Midnight, thank you. I hope you keep checking back. I completely agree with your tag line: Sex is a gift from the gods. When we are enraptured by our lover, merging our bodies and our passions, I feel it must be a reflection of the bliss God felt in that prime instant of Creation. And we take on the avatars of gods and goddesses, if only for a moment. We can each be perfect and happy in this mortal life while those juices are flowing.|