|Blogs > BluffCityBabalon > A Mechanical Kind of Ecstasy|
Bad sex from days gone by:
Bad sex from days gone by:
This story takes place early September of last year, in the environs surrounding the University of Memphis.
I had just transferred from the University of Arkansas to the University of Memphis, and had yet to have a night out on my own in "The Big City" without the presence of my big brother. The first week of class, post-Katrina, provided the opportunity.
My new suitemate in the dorm (yes. I'm 26 and live on campus. it's pathetic), a young lady who is a music business administration major just so she can fuck musicians, invited me to come out to a benefit show at a little bar just a block or two off campus. She was trying to talk to one of the bassists. Her other friend was 'with' the soundman. So, needless to say, I got ditched.
And the opportunity arose for me to get chatted up. Surprisingly, it was by someone from my hometown, who used to get high with my brother-in-law. And when we realized this, out came the Cuervo. There was toasting, dancing, grinding. I behaved shamefully, and loved every minute of it.
And needless to say, when I went home with him, it was not to 'smoke a bowl' as he'd invited me to.
In the car, he starts talking about how he only sleeps with white women of a certain body type. (It should be noted that he is a black fellow, of the 'crispy black' skin tone.) Which creeped me out, because I was not crazy to be distilled down to 'white chick with big ass' - and for the record, I'm just as Mexican as I am white.
But I was drunk enough, and horny enough, to let it slide.
Until we got back to his place, and started to play. He pulled my pants off, bypassed my vagina entirely, and went straight for my ass with his tongue. This startled me. And then, again ignoring my vagina, tried to use his fingers in that most delicate of areas.
I stopped him short, reminding him of my "no anal on the first time" rule - a pretty sound one, if you ask me, and safer for my poor tissues back there. It gives me time to assess the gentleman's skill level, and whether or not I'll end up waddling because he broke something internally.
Then he positioned me doggystyle, but could not get it up.
Sat up. Looked confused. Said, "I hope you don't think I'm some kind of bitch."
Threw up all over himself. Ugh.
But no, it gets worse. I put my pants on and leave the apartment.
As I am doing the walk of shame from this aborted interlude, I realize that nothing looks familiar. Then a very homeless crackhead looking fellow addresses me, and asks me for a dollar. I give him one. Then I ask where I am, and realize that I have gone in the exact opposite direction. I am not anywhere near the campus, and have stumbled into a Really Bad Ghetto of Memphis. (Orange Mound, for those of you in the know.)
And then, the benchmark for knowing-you're-in-trouble happened. The crackhead looked concerned, gave me a screwdriver for protection, and pointed me in the right direction with the words, "You be careful now, hear? I don't want to be seeing your face on the news tomorrow."
(And we all know you're in trouble when the crackheads are worried about you.)
I made it home. Threw up. Sat in the bathtub. Went to class.
Still have the screwdriver.
11/13/2006 2:36 pm
now that was some good reading!!!!|
Just wait until you get dropped off in frayser.
glad to see you survived that one!
5/1/2006 8:17 am
Girl, you need to be careful. Orange Mound is NOT a nice place for a single woman walking the streets at night. Unfortunately, Memphis is becoming a city where there aren't many places where it IS safe to walk at night.|
4/15/2006 2:05 pm
hi babalon, im sorry what happened to u. i would have showed u a better time. im in memphis too and have my own house so if u want to b friends or just need a gud fuck buddy im ur man. so write about me, i read all ur blogs, and im kinda a fan of urs. my name is slimevain. i will send u sum of my pics. im really sexy. u should like me . ok . dats all i got 4 now . keep writing and i will keep reading and dont forget to look at d comments . bye|