trouble sleeping  

BlueLovinLatina 30F
237 posts
9/19/2005 9:11 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

trouble sleeping

My sleeping the past 5 or so days has been crappy...last night I didnt fall asleep until 4, when I had to wake up at 7. I've been having more nightmares...I don't really know what's truly bothering me right now. I suppose its a whole great deal of things: The possibility of Andrew coming back, the whole Bob fiasco, Joseph with his weird ideas...

I'm not going to be mad at Bob about it all...but that DOESNT stop me from feeling...not so good. I'm not the girl and I never will be. I should just get that through to myself. I'm so tempted to call, or text, but I WONT. I know he knows how I feel, he viewed me yesterday, which means he read this blog. So, if he doesnt give a rats ass then he doesnt give a rats ass. I broke a promise to him anyway...but I doubt he remembers it cause it had nothing to do with sex. And as of right now, the plans that we had in November (the next time I go home) are cancelled.

I'm not going to lie, I miss Andrew. C'mon, I was going to marry the guy. But going back into his arms will only complicate things more for me. Its already been 2 months (today) since he left, and its been 3 months since we broke up.

Joseph's coming down this weekend, well everybody is cause theres going to be something going down over here. I haven't mentioned Bob to him and thank goodness that I didn't. I don't want to hurt his feelings more than I already have. I will try...TRY to only be devoted to Joseph from now on. Its really going to tough when in actuality I'm thinking of...well y'all should already know.

Tomorrow, I'll go down to the clinic to see if they have any sleeping pills...its probably all psychological. I'm feeling so down right now...its not even much funny. I don't have the energy to do a damn thing.

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