Frustration/Regret  

BlueLovinLatina 30F
237 posts
10/25/2005 10:45 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Frustration/Regret


I'm craving some hot cheetos lol...I havent had junk food since mid August!!!

Anyway, I'm getting SO frustrated with Chris. At around 5 today, Chris called asking me to go to this restaurant that he likes. So he comes and picks me up, the whole ride there was silent. We're seated and he asks me about Joseph. I'm upfront with him and tell him what I did. Why am I going to bullshit?

I guess...I just wanted to be a bitch to him cause he doesnt want to have sex with me. He asked why I had done it.

I told him, "You don't want to have sex with me. You make me feel unwanted, like if something was wrong with me."
"Theres nothing wrong with you. I cant believe you dont respect my wishes. You jumped on the first pair of balls that came at you"
"I'm not your girlfriend, I didnt promise you anything. its not as if i planned it."
"You said Joseph wasnt speaking to you"
"He wasnt. He just showed up Saturday."
"Blue*, I wanted it to be special."
"WTF are you talking about?"
"The first time we..."
"Do it?"

I didnt feel like eating anything. I asked him to take me back home. I didnt quite go back to my dorm...I lingered around campus like if i was lost. and hour later, I got to my dorm and it was full of flowers. And I was like WTF? My room mate told me that all the flowers were from Chris. That he had planned it all with her.

I rushed to Chris' place, and his room mate was in the living room. I wanted to speak to him alone so he led me into his room. His room was decorated with candles and flowers. And I asked him what it was all about. He said that it was meant for me. i can't even much explain how bad i felt...I wanted to cry. lol...I've always been a sensitive person. I turned really red and my eyes were watery. lol...I'm such a loser. I just said that i was really sorry...and I left.

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