PUMPKIN PATCH  

BlondieEuro 53F
126 posts
6/16/2006 7:58 pm

Last Read:
6/22/2006 12:23 am

PUMPKIN PATCH

THIS WAS IN THE WASHINGTON POST... THE TITLE OF THE ARTICLE "THE BEST COME BACK EVER!"

IN SUMMARY THE POLICE ARRESTED PATRICK LAWERENCE
22YR OLD, WHITE MALE, RESIDENT OF DRACULA G.A.
IN PUMPKIN PATCH, 11.38 PM FRIDAY.

LAWERENCE WILL BE CHARGED WITH LEWD AND LASCIVIOUS BEHAVIOUR IN PUBLIC, IDECENCY AND,
PUBLIC INTOXICATION AT GWINNETT COUNTY COURTHOUSE ON MONDAY.

THE SUSPECT EXPLAINED THAT AS HE WAS PASSING A
PUMPKIN PATCH, HE DECIDED TO STOP "YOU KNOW A
PUMPKIN IS SOFT AND SQUISHY INSIDE, AND THERE
WAS NO ONE AROUND HERE FOR MILES.
AT LEAST I THOUGHT THERE WASN'T" HE STATED IN
A PHONE INTERVIEW. LAWERENCE WENT ON TO SAY THAT HE PULLED OVER TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD,
PICKED OUT A PUMPKIN THAT HE FELT WAS APPROPRIATE FOR HIS PURPOSE, CUT A HOLE IN IT, AND PROCEEDED TO SATISFY HIS ALLEDGED "NEED"
"GUESS I WAS JUST REALLY INTO IT, YOU KNOW" HE COMMENTED WITH EVIDENT EMBARRASSMENT.

IN THE PROCESS LAWERENCE APPARENTLY FAILED TO NOTICE A GWINNETT COUNTY POLICE CAR APPROAGHING HIM "IT WAS AN UNUSUAL SITUATION THATS FOR SURE" SAID OFFICER SUSAN HARDY!
"I WALKED UP TO (LAWERENCE) AND HE'S ....JUST WORKING AWAY AT THIS BUMPKIN!" HARDY WENT ON TO DESCRIBE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN SHE APPROACHED LAWERENCE "I JUST WENT UP AND SAID, EXCUSE ME SIR, BUT DO YOU REALISE THAT YOU ARE SCREWING A PUMPKIN? HE FROZE AND WAS CLEARLY VERY SURPRISED THAT I WAS THERE, AND THEN LOOKED ME STRAIGHT IN THE FACE AND SAID 'A PUMPKIN? DAMN.... IS IT MIDNIGHT ALREADY?"


puntachueca 105M

6/16/2006 8:28 pm

I guess the crime was sodomy of squash. Or indecency with a vegetable.

Gwinnett County is a familiar place. The bandersnatch was banned from that county's library computer system. The word comes from the kid book Alice in Wonderland poem Jabberwocky. Their library filter also banned the Book of Mormon. This ended up in a massive law suit over the Communications Decency Act.


Sweetpickles69 47F

6/16/2006 9:02 pm

LMAO!

Peace,
Pickles


leegs55 55M

6/17/2006 9:17 pm

it's 10 oclock!!!


malewithbrains 43M
1896 posts
6/18/2006 9:14 pm

Only in the good ole US of A .... Thanks hadn't laugh this hard in a while. He would be in for #1 for Darwin Awards, but the 12 o'clock comment saved him.


easy_8 56M

6/19/2006 8:50 pm

Very good....
You should email me dear...
I would if I could


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