Mindless Rambling  

BigButSexy84 32F
55 posts
12/9/2005 8:57 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Mindless Rambling

I've always hated crying. I feel that it makes me vulnerable.

There's only two guys that have ever made me cry. My ex was the first. After the moment I found out he had cheated on me, I cried myself to sleep every night. I didn't break up with him like I should have - I felt that things could get better. At one point, I was in the hospital. I was on the phone with him. He knew where I was at and why I was there. Broke up with me over the phone while I was there. During the conversation, I remained calm. After I hung up I just lost it completely. Got back together a week later. Everything was great, and then it turned to crap again. I knew that it had to end. We broke up - it was mutual, but this time we talked on the phone for a bit. While I knew it was something I had to do, I cried my eyes out while talking to him. I normally never let anyone see me cry, or even know that I had been crying, especially over them.

The second guy that has made me cry is my boyfriend, but the situation is hardly the same. He has made me cry twice. The thing that was different about this was that I didn't cry because I was upset, hurt, or anything.

He just makes me feel so good, and I begin to feel things that I'm afraid to feel. The intensity of these feelings become so strong. I would just lay in bed, with a grin on my face, thinking of these indescribable feelings, and I was just begin to cry because if I didn't, I'd feel like I would burst at any moment.

A few weeks into the relationship, I just layed in bed thinking to myself "what did I get myself into?" I was kind of afraid. The more I feel the more I hurt I could end up.

A few days ago I thought about that night and smiled to myself thinking, "the risk is so worth it." Honestly, he is worth that risk.

"I miss you, And it's only been one day
Since I went away, And already I say
I long to kiss you, And hold you in my arms
The nights are much too long when you're gone"

BROC817 44M

12/20/2005 11:58 am

yeah your ex must be a azzhole !!! but the other guy sounds like a winner........lol

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