Well...this was a kick to the nuts....  

BigBoobLuver23 44M
51 posts
4/19/2006 2:30 am

Last Read:
7/2/2006 6:45 pm

Well...this was a kick to the nuts....

Christ,

I'm STILL pissed off about my ex-gf. I haven't been this mad in a long time. I was chatting with a good friend of mine (who used to be friends with my ex-gf as well) and I told him about our 'relationship'. I also told him I think she is either narcissistic in the extreme or is totally oblivious (he said he thought it was the latter, but its possible it could be the former).

I made the comment that my friends think its likely she has been cheating on me. What cam next was a bit of a shock in some ways. My buddy told me that one of her ex-roommates thinks that maybe she is a lesbian and cannot come to terms with that fact, based on her behaviour in the past. I'm beginning to think that maybe her ex-roommate is right.

My ex has said things in the past that lead me to believe she was sexually molested by her looney older brother. There is some kind of deep-seated hostility between the two that I could never quite put my finger on, but after thinking about it, well, it makes sense.

I don't know if it would have been worse if she were cheating on me than to be lying to me (and herself) over her sexual persuasion. I don't know at this point whether I should cuss her out or tell her to get psychological help and leave me alone.

Seven years of my life, down the frigging drain....literally for nothing. I cant help but think of the amount of money I've spent on dates, gifts and other things. It sounds callous as hell (and I'll be honest, it IS callous as hell), but if I'd taken that same money and gone to Amsterdam, I could have gottten laid numerous times. I never even got a handjob from her.


BigBoobLuver23 44M

5/4/2006 11:47 am

Ah....Ive got time now (sorry, been incredibly busy lately....::sigh. I'm also alot more calm now (work seems to have done that).

'you are like the first guy i've ever known who would not like the idea of two women getting it on.'

Its not so much that, its that I'm frustrated beyond belief at my ex for the whoops and rings I've had to jump through.

'so if she were with a woman instead of a man would it still bother you as much?'

In this instance, probably. The fact that I was the one who propped up the relationship for years on end (she has never once come and visited me, I've always had to be the one to go see her) as well as the lack of intimacy just really makes it all the more difficult to swallow. The fact that I've never seen her without her clothes on just further reinforces that she was a complete waste of time.

Honestly, I'm better about it now than I was a while back. I decided I might as well be philosophical about it and chalk it up to life handing me a bunch of lemons that I sadly did not make into lemonade.


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