The Annals of BF69  

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F
1008 posts
9/6/2005 10:36 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Annals of BF69

Prologue: Just read BB69’s Barbiebunny69 and almost hurt myself laughing at her post about “Barbie 'n' Tressa Walk Down the Street.” Then I thought of all the “cut and paste” humor I’ve put in my blog, and what she said about how tacky that is (although I disagree if it’s good stuff). I read some more, and saw how witty her original humor is. So I thought I’d share some true stories in the spirit of BB69. These are actually true stories.. To the best of my memory anyway. Hope someone somewhere gets a kick outa them. Party on!!!!

The Annals of BF69’s Anal Sexcapades. Act I.

Early in my marriage. At dinner one evening:

Me: “Did you ever notice I like playing with your butt when we’re having sex? We’ve never really talked about it much.” (hint of sarcasm)

Her: “Um, yeah, I noticed.”

Me: “Does it turn you on?”

Her: “Well it kinda feels good, but it hurts when you put your finger in there too far.”

Me: “How about when I lick it, you like that right?”

Her: “Oh yeah that feels nice. Perverted and sick but nice! How do you know its clean down there anyway?? I coulda just taken a shit and not wiped very well. You could be licking shit!”

Me: “Well in the heat of the moment, I really don’t care. Hell, dogs lick each others asses don’t they? Yeah I know, it could be unhealthy, but I haven’t died yet.”

Her: “Why do you wanna fuck my ass all the time anyway? Isn’t my pussy tight enough?”

Me: “Um, yeah.. I love your pussy!”

Her: “Yeah right! Come on I’ve had three kids, is it too loose?”

Me: “No it’s fine!, really. I just like variety ya know?”

Her: “Yeah yeah yeah.. If you start talking about how you wanna see me with another woman or another man or whatever the fuck is in your warped mind again we can just stop this conversation right now!”

Me: “Well don’t you ever fantasize? Come on, you’re with the kids all day, you can’t tell my you’ve never wanted another guy?”

Her: #x201D;Well yeah, of course that’s natural. But not with you watching and doing me too!!”

Me: “Really? Cool! Who Ken?” (note: Ken is my black buddy, always had fantasies of seeing her do him).

Her: “Oh stop!”

Me: “I could invite him over.. Okay okay… Well what about another woman?”

Her: “Damn it, we’ve had this conversation a thousand times. It does nothing for me, you know that. What if I kept bugging you about seeing you with another GUY? Huh??”

Me: “Well that’s different.”

Her: “Oh there you go again it is not!”

Me: “Yes it is! Women are beautiful and soft and feminine and nurturing and kind and emotional and smell nice and have soft long hair on their heads and not other places. Guys are rough and tough and gross and…”

Her: “Yeah yeah yeah I’ve heard all this shit before. What’s your point?”

Me: “Well about the ass thing..”

Her: “Oh yeah. Tell ya what Mister ‘I wanna fuck your girl ass so bad but hate boys dick stickin out man.’. How about I go in the kitchen and get a big fuckin cucumber and shove it up your ass?”

Me: “Well whatever it takes… Can you use a lot of lube?”

Her: “Oh fuck you!” grinning

Later that evening, we’re in bed. Lots of oral sex going on, lots of licking everywhere. And yeah, I can’t keep my tongue outa “there” and she’s loving it. Then my finger. Slowly.. She’s moaning.. I take it as a sign. She rolls over on her belly and I mount her, sliding my dick into her wet pussy. We start to buck in rhythm.. It’s nice. Then I reach between her checks with my thumb and start to work it into her ass.

“You like that?”

“Yes” she whispers, and an evil whisper at that.

“Can I?”

Hesitation. “Yes. Do it.”

Her ass is already soaked from all the pussy juice and my licking. I take my dick out of her pussy and slide it up.

Her: “Let me do it.” Who am I to argue?

She slides the tip in. I wait and don’t thrust at all. She pushes against me and it slides in a bit more. She stops and tenses. “Ow!” I start to pull out. “No, it’s okay. Just give me a minute.” I push back in to the same point. “Just leave it there for a minute.”

I do. After a minute or so she pushes against me more, and another couple inches slide it.

“You okay?”

“Yes, go ahead!”

I begin to slide in and out, but not the full length. After a minute of that I push the rest of my dick in. She squirms but by now she is loving it and keeps rocking with me. I feel my orgasm coming on. My god it is SO tight! She feels me stiffening for my orgasm and she starts to moan. We explode together, and eventually I pull myself out of her ass. There is no shitty mess, if you know what I mean.. Perhaps she’s meant for this? Hmm….

So, a couple nights later, we’re getting into some luvin’. Eventually, we start to have hot sex, with my cock in her wet pussy, doggie style, bumpin’ and a grindin’. She turns her head around to look at me from behind her and says,

“Wanna go in my ass”?

Heh heh heh……………………….

Barbiebunny69 43F

9/7/2005 6:42 pm

Oh My COCK! LMAO I looove it!!!!! **gigglin** Ty for the kudos and ure right if its really good share those emails..but its always better to see a prt of you in it..this was fabulous!

ruready4adark1 56M

9/8/2005 5:16 am

Ok, I see my problem now. I gave up this conversation (with my wife) about half way in. Shoulda followed it through to it's (pardon the pun) end.

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

9/8/2005 8:47 am

Glad you enjoyed it Barbie, thanks for takin the time to read it. I have to wonder how many women go thru this kinda thing? I'll have to ask my ex, after all these years, if she still goes there.. My guess is yes. heehee

ru: I say "press" the issue. Don't stop halfway. I'd betcha a pair of Bronocs (or even better Lions but who knows this year) tickets that you'll get her to like it..

ruready4adark1 56M

9/8/2005 5:05 pm

If I get her to like it I won't need the tickets anyway cause my new name will be Ass Master.

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

9/9/2005 6:01 am

ru: Ass Master? I like it, I like it.. She may never go back!

Short: See, living proof that it works!

wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
9/12/2005 12:39 am

lol I am sure everyone has been there at one time or another lol....


BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

9/12/2005 7:55 am

G'day wyvenrose! I'm way behind on blogs, gotta go catch up with yours.. Hope you're gettin lots of action "down under." xoxo

rm_sexy40islady 57F
148 posts
9/14/2005 7:40 pm

Sounds like my first experience and now it seems I can't get enough! Loved it too.

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

9/14/2005 11:01 pm

LOL sexy4! Maybe you and I were married in a past life??

__Huntress__ 55M/58F

9/19/2005 2:38 pm

Anytime you wanna sneak up behind me ... feel free !

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

9/19/2005 4:00 pm

ha ha huntress!! Can I bring my cane when I do?

__Huntress__ 55M/58F

9/19/2005 4:54 pm

That depends on the cane !

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

9/19/2005 9:47 pm

Then let's make it sugar cane.

__Huntress__ 55M/58F

9/25/2005 3:30 pm

You got it babydoll ! Bring it on !

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