Monogomy 02 -- Why Can't I Do It?  

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F
1008 posts
9/29/2005 1:03 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Monogomy 02 -- Why Can't I Do It?

Why Can’t I Do Monogamy? Remembering the Past

As I entered into yet another relationship, I knew the eventual inevitability: she will want it to go monogamous. At some point. Why deny it? I won’t be able to do it. Why not? It’s not like I haven’t tried.

Shrinks try to get back into your past to figure these things out. Maybe I should do some reflecting. Maybe this will help me get some insight.

When did this first come up? Playing doctor? Or “The Dating Game” with my sisters, trying to get them all to let me kiss them? Or letting them and their friends dress me up like a girl so I could be around them, just so I could smell them? Maybe.

Or maybe as young teenager, working on a massive corporation farm in Ohio every summer from age 12 to 18. This reflection is around age 15. Early/mid 70’s.

I’m on my knees in the massive radish field at 6:30 AM, pulling radishes. Thousands and millions of radishes. Radishes as far as the eye can see. Pulling them out of the ground with my left hand, sorting out and dropping the little ones as I move them to my right hand. Gotta get about 15 good ones for a bunch. Wrap them in a thin rubber band, hundreds of which are in a clump around my middle and ring fingers of my right hand, cutting off the circulation a bit. But I’m used to that slight numbness. I put the completed bunch on the ground behind me for the “pick up” guys to put in a bushel basket, then carry to the truck, and eventually drive to the washing shed for cleaning and crating and shipping. I pull the next bunch. I’m pretty fast these days. Wish I could do this piece rate, I’d make a lot more money.

I move fast enough so that I keep up with all the “pullers” in the rows on either side of me, ‘cause if I get too far behind, Raymond the crew chief will rip me a new asshole and start screaming. Raymond is pulling too, with his bright yellow plastic coveralls and matching gloves. I don’t have those. I’m just in my jeans, wet from the morning dew, with bare hands, which will be totally black with the rich soil by noon. I won’t even wash my hands to eat my sandwich and potato chips and drink my Shasta grape soda. I’ll just hold stuff with the plastic bag as I eat.

The cheesy AM radio station (CKLW from Detroit) is blaring into the hot, humid day. “Havin’ my baby, what a lovely way to say how much I love you. Havin my baby…”

I’m “pulling” (guys from the UK reading this shame on you it’s not that!) with a fascinating mix of people, although I had no clue at the time. Poor white kids from the little towns around the farm (me). Seasonal migrant workers from Mexico. And another migrant force that comes up from the hills of neighboring Kentucky every summer, staying with cousins while they earn some seasonal cash. Them are some rough and tumble boys and girls, lemme tell ya..

I’m totally enamored with one of those sweet, dark, curvy Mexican girls, with her full round lips and dark eyes. Nora. I think she’s 14 but she looks 18. Damn, we don’t have these kind of women in Ohio. YUM! She’s always smiling at me, shyly, because in Mexico where she’s from, women don’t come on to men. At least not directly.

Then there’s a slim blonde little Kentucky girl named Naomi. She has a crush on me, and I have one on her. She makes no bones about it. She notices those smiles from Nora and glares. But Nora doesn’t care, she ain’t gonna take shit from nobody. Nobody takes shit from anyone in this crowd. There’s a basic respect. Unspoken.

And at the ripe age of 15, my dick never goes down, even in the hot wet radish field. Especially in the hot wet radish field. (Not that that’s changed much). And I wanna fuck both of them, of course. (Not that that’s changed much). But, I’m not supposed to fuck anyone else, because I have a girlfriend named Tammy. Tammy doesn’t work here in the radish field. She has one of the good jobs, in the massive “shed,” where the washing and packing and loading onto trucks takes place. Those shed jobs are prized, and actually careers for lots of folks around here. It’s rare that a high school kid gets one for the summer. But Tammy already knows how to play the game at age 15. A little eye batting here, allowing one of the brother-owners to pat her ass there, and voila. She’s outa the hot fields and inside washing and packing all day.

One of the kids from Kentucky who would come to work with his cousins living in my podunk little town every summer is named Virgil. Now, Virgil is 17 (two years older than me), and a real badass. His thick Kentucky drawl is hard, not soft. He’s tall, with long wavy blonde hair held in place by a blue rolled-up bandana, a cigarette always in his mouth. Marlboro reds, of course (he would not be seen smoking one those faggy Kools). He’s muscular from picking up bushels full of radishes all day, every day but Sunday. And he’ll show you his knife wounds in a second. I’d rather be Virgil’s friend than his enemy. So I became his friend. One of his best friends. And Naomi and Virgil are cousins. So if his cousin wanted to “go with” me, I had better damn well be friends with Virgil or get my face pounded in.

Conversations in the radish fields were crude, nasty, disgusting. None of the white people working there was too far from the trailer park, myself included. The women were just as nasty as the men, even worse. They had to be. And the Mexicans were always trying to figure out what the hell we were talking about. I think they understood a lot more than they let on.

Pull, sort, bunch, drop. Pull, sort, bunch, drop. I’m way ahead. In my own world. Was this my first meditation? I hear someone gaining on me. She’s 10 or 15 rows to my left.

Naomi: “So Geeeeaaan,” (sic, a.k.a. Gene) when yoo gonna get rida that prissy bitch Tammy and cop my laaeg?” (note: “cop my leg” = “fuck me”.
Me: “Um I dunno.” (Tammy is scared shitless of Naomi.)
Virgil (from behind us as he picks up our bunches): “What are you Geeean some kinda dayum faggit? Your mouth looks lack a pussy ta me!” (Really, I’m not making this up, this was before Deliverance. I was trying to grow a beard and wasn’t having much luck. I guess my mouth did look like a pussy.)
Me: “Oh fuck you Virgil I am not! I get pussy all the time! I like girls! You guys know that!”
Virgil: “See everybody he’s a damn faggit!!! He wansta fuck me!” (Laughter erupts.)

Raymond (yells): “How about a little less faggit talk and more radish pullin’!!!”

I start pulling really fast and get out ahead of the crowd. I’m pissed. I’m not a faggit damnit!! (LO

Naomi: “Hey Raaayymund, can ah switch rows and go by Geeean?”
Raymond: “Okay Naomi. Make it quick.”
(Raymond didn’t mind people “pulling” together. In the end it was more productive. Anything to help the white trash kids keep up with the Mexicans, damn they work hard.)

Naomi comes up and starts pulling beside me.
Naomi: “Whatchoo doin Saturday, goin to the drav in?” (The drive-in. That was the big and only entertainment in town for us kids. Cars full of kids drinking and smoking weed and fucking in back seats).
Me: “Well yeah me and Tammy.”
Naomi: “Go with me.”
Me: “I can’t. I gotta go with Tammy.”
Naomi: “No ya don’t. If ya don’t go with me Virgil will woop your ass! You like me dontcha? Come awn!” (She pulls down her shirt at the shoulder and shows me her bra strap. Damn, I did like her.)
Me: “Yeah I like you! But I can’t.”
Raymond (yells): “Naomi you can come back now.” (Meaning, go the back and start a new row, you’re too distracted.).
Naomi: “Aw damnit Raymond!” (She finishes her bunch and kisses me on the neck before she stands up.)
Naomi: “Oh yes ya can.” She smiles, and my dick leaps up. And stays that way all pretty much all day.

Damn, I wanna fuck her. Bad. Virgil or no Virgil. Tammy or no Tammy. And I wanna fuck Nora even worse.

Saturday night comes. My older brother drives the family Vega (still has three cylinders firing if we’re lucky) to the drive-in. Brother Richard, his girlfriend Kim, Tammy and me. We park in the back. He makes Tammy and me sit in the front, and he and Kim get in the back. Man it sucks making out in the front seat of a Vega. But we start getting the groove on. Windows are down, it is a hot humid summer night in Ohio. I have Tammy’s shirt off and am starting to get a little feely action goin’ on down below. I smell my fingers. Yum.

We see a girl approaching the car. It’s Naomi. She looks HOT! Hair done, makeup, hip huggers, tube top. Definitely not the radish field look. My dick gets even harder.

Naomi: “Hey Geeean!” She looks in the back. “Hey Richard and Kim! Hey Tammy.” (She gives Tammy the “I’m gonna fuck your bo’” look. Tammy is scared, grabs her shirt and puts it on, leaving it unbuttoned).
Me: “Hey Naomi how ya doing?”
Naomi: “Virgil said come over to our truck and smoke a joint.” (Now, you do NOT say no to Virgil’s invitation to smoke a joint. You might get your ass wooped.)
Me: “Okay we’ll come over.”
Naomi: “Just you.” (She opens the door. I look at Tammy and shrug. Tammy gives me that “no pussy for you tonight asshole” look).

As we walk over to Virgil’s truck, Naomi puts her arm around me. On the way I see Nora, brothers and sisters standing around an old brown Ford Fairlane, drinking Bud and laughing it up. Is there a movie on the screen? The Groove Tube I think.

Nora: “Hi Cheen.” She smiles. “Hi Naomi.”


digdug41 49M

9/29/2005 4:06 pm

hey dude that was a good piece right there I know the feeling before I got married not a nip at me, I get married they come out the wood work wanting to fuck and at the time I was such a lush I did it now I'm too preoccupied to think about it or to pursue anyone but I always think of the comedy raw w/eddie murphy when he says"that we are men and we must find and conquer as much pussy on the planet"
and to an affect that's true but I try to keep a lid on those feelings especially when I'm out and about there's bad ass women everywhere but now I just look and keep it moving, fantasizing about what some of them would be like in bed but thats normal...I hope lol cya

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
9/29/2005 7:47 pm

I enjoyed this one thoroughly. You have a talent for storytelling. Thanks.

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

9/29/2005 10:27 pm

digdug: Thanks so much! I've always loved Eddie Murphy, he makes me laugh till I cry. Maybe monogamy can work for some people, but I think most will admit they're not wired for it.

Keith: I appreciate your taking the time to read it. I'm flattered. Look forward to your stuff on a daily basis.

__Huntress__ 55M/57F

9/30/2005 3:56 am

Now ... here's a man who knows how to mix a cocktale ... uh ... I mean cocktail ... this wasn't the bar story was it ? Oops ...

__Huntress__ 55M/57F

9/30/2005 4:02 am

Truth is babydoll ... I'm not so convinced the human species was meant to be monogamous ...

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

9/30/2005 8:56 am

BigGirlz: LMAO! I can't believe you read that whole thing. I see you're from Toledo. Perhaps you were on that radish crew too? I haven't been back there since I was 18. I wonder what it's like now..

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

9/30/2005 8:59 am

Huntress: Thanks again hun for reading this stuff. That was the exact point I was trying to make. From a young age we're attracted to different people, all the time. It's going to happen. Why set ourselves up for failure in expecting a lifetime or very long term monogamous situation? I'm not saying it CAN'T work. I'm just saying it is very unlikely. Why can't we look take a close hard look at our cultural expectations around that and deal with it? And why not have the discussions right away when you enter into a relationship that's intimate? That's all I'm sayin.. Man I struggle with this, probably more than I struggle with anything else in life. Help! LOL

__Huntress__ 55M/57F

9/30/2005 5:45 pm

Ben: It shouldn't be a struggle ... have the discussion ... lay your cards out there alittle bit ... you've tried the marriage thing, it doesn't work for everyone ... being exclusive, doesn't work for everyone ... live in the moment ... and find someone who feels the same ... as long as you're willing to accept her doing the same ... get the picture !

Having said that, where would you like me to send my address, how soon can you get here and what could I possibly do to pleasure you ... ?

I'm thinking some mutual "anal"ysis may be in order right about now ... don't you ... >>! ?

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

10/1/2005 3:45 pm

Huntress, as usual, you're right on. "Find someone who feels the same." Now, if I could do that I'd have it made! Of course there would be no double standard.. Ready? XOXOXO

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

10/2/2005 3:47 pm

Mouse: Wow really? You and BigGrilzr both wanna hear more of the story, I'm flattered, really didn't anyone read this stuff. I won’t bore you with a continuing life story, but here’s how things followed:

1. Turns out Virgil was (is) gay. Surprised? I’ll write about that in some of my upcoming entries titled “Close Encounters of the Gay Kind.” I’m gonna skip around tho.

2. Tammy and I broke up. Yes I did cop Naomi’s leg.. More like she copped my leg. Damn she was a wild one. I ofent wonder what happened to her… When I was in the Army in Germany a few years later, I swore I saw her in a uniform wearing a private stripe, walking on the base. I didn’t say anything, but damn, I think it was her. Can you say Lindy England? I woulda felt sorry for any Iraqi that met up with her!

3. Nora ended up dating my brother Richard. I never had sex with her, but I did with one of her friends. (wink wink!)



rm_lilypond3 58F
83 posts
10/4/2005 12:59 am

Good theory on why you 'think' your not into monogomy, you and thousands of other men.
I think it goes much deeper than that but it was a good story.

For most of my college years, and after also,I was always trying to choose between two-three men... I could never figure out why I was like that until much later.
I had a father and a stepdad when very young.They were very different.I loved them both, still do. The fellas I dated were often very different too. I couldnt nor wouldnt choose one dad over the other, so the same with the guys. Was very hard for me. I know myself much better now, thank-goodness!

What I DO like is that your exploring who you are and why,for that you get a very tasty treat.(smile)

barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
10/4/2005 3:57 pm

OOh Radishes! I like a carrot?
Ure not into monogamy cuz ure a little guy tart.

Its good to be...ME

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

10/4/2005 7:44 pm

BigGirlz: LOL! Yeah, I had always suspected Virgil was gay. Glad he didn't try to my ass, that would have been one tough fight. Really I can't believe you're reading this stuff, I'm so flattered, thanks. xo

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

10/4/2005 7:48 pm

Lily: Hi! Maybe this story does point out some of the reasons why I don't (can't?) do monogamy. Who knows, we're all on a journey of self-discovery, I still don't have a clue but I keep getting back in the ring for more beatings... And I see you have/had some of the same "issues." Not just guys I recon!

BF (with tongue hanging out waiting for tasty treat)

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

10/4/2005 7:51 pm

Bunz here lil bunny, here lil bunny, BF has a radish for you. BF has a carrot, yum yum! Never been called a guy tart before, thanks luv it! Guy tart cabanay bitch boy I like even better.. (stroke stroke bunny's fur...)

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

10/5/2005 10:00 pm

Candy hey sweetheart.. Miss ya.

rm_goddess1946 106F
13518 posts
12/11/2005 12:02 pm

Monogamy is a choice.............we are not born naturally
monogamous...that just is what it is................

have been enjoying your blog

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

12/11/2005 11:35 pm

Thanks goddess, enjoying your blog too. I agree, everything in life is a choice. But.. Are we genetically or some other way predisposed to monogamy or not? Is it all nurture or is some nature involved?

runzwithknives 60F

12/28/2008 10:42 pm

Came back to peruse a bit....
Found myself chuckling a bit over this one.
Something about expecting different results. *grin*

Love you!

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