Insomnia 02 -- Depends on Your View  

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F
1008 posts
9/27/2005 2:27 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Insomnia 02 -- Depends on Your View

What do you think about, especially when you’re lying awake in bed, when the world around you is sleeping? Sometimes I think about how the simplest things in our existence can open up layers and layers of worlds upon worlds, which we never notice. And how no two people see the same thing the same way. Like this simple little song we all sang as kids:

Row row row your boat gently down the stream,
Merrily merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream.

A simple kids’ song, or a metaphor for life? Depends on your view.

Row row row
Do your thing. Do it, do it, do it, until you master it. In the east they’d call this your dharma, or purpose in life. Do it well. Be impeccable. Keep doing it, don’t give up. And when you’ve mastered this stream, there are millions of different streams and rivers and lakes and oceans to row in. Find the next one that tickles your fancy, and start rowing again. Keep rowing.

YOUR boat
Not your wife’s or husband’s or partner’s boat. Not your kid’s boat. Not your neighbor’s boat or your co-worker’s boat or your mom’s or dad’s boat or your friend’s boat.. YOUR boat. You can’t solve anyone else’s problems or do their trip for them. You can’t bloom flowers. Sure, if you want to, you can keep the soil moist and put the pot in the sun and take it in when it gets cold. But the flower has to bloom itself. YOUR boat.

Man, we struggle a lot in life don’t we? I know I do. And 99% of the time, it was for naught. Things came out the way they came out anyway. Did my angst and stress and struggle help? I’m not talking about a little motivation. I’m talking about how hard we can make things for ourselves and everyone around us, just because we’re so hard. Can we be a bit kinder? I don’t mean become a doormat that people step on. Just a bit…. Gentler.

DOWN the stream
Other than spawning salmon, we get along best with nature when we go down the stream, instead of trying to paddle up all the time. This is a bit Zen, but really, isn’t most of the struggle in our lives caused by our not accepting things the way they are? The stream is flowing down, not up. I’m not saying don’t change things that you can (12-step = Zen in case ya didn’t know lol). Yeah, sometimes ya gotta go up the stream. But I’m talking about the hell we create in our own minds because we think things “should” be different than the way they ARE. Accept it first, then you have a prayer of changing it. Or not. But from a point of acceptance, you’re on a ground with the best perspective for change. Down the stream..

Merrily merrily merrily merrily
Notice merrily four times? We don’t laugh enough in life! Hell, no matter what is happening to you, it’s not such a federal case, know what I mean? Someone, somewhere, is gonna laugh at you for your petty little bullshit compared to what they’re going through. I laugh at myself every time I look in the mirror, thinking I have a frickin clue. I love seeing kids laugh at nothing. What happened, why don’t I do that any more? I’d live in a comedy club if they’d give me a cot. We heal ourselves physically and emotionally by laughing. God (or whatever you wanna call that divine intelligence that runs through us) has a hell of a sense of humor; she smacks me now and then to make me laugh, and to tell me not to be so stupid. I got “disciplined” once (well a lot) in the Army for laughing at an officer (man he was a wanker) so hard that they gave me a drug test. And sex. Now THERE’S a humor topic! Merrily…

Life is but a dream.
Yes, it is. That which entered me when I popped outa mama’s belly is having a great ride. And in cosmic terms, it’ll leave me pretty damn soon. At the moment it’s in its little soul cage being held down by the spinning force of this little rock whizzing around a little yellow start tucked away in the corner of an insignificant spiral arm of one of billions of little old galaxies. The Universe will hardly notice when it goes outa me and “I” become fertilizer. Hell, the Universe will hardly notice when the sun goes out. What if our waking state is really the dream, and the dream is really “reality?” Makes as much sense to me as anything else. Why do dreams seem so real? Why do I feel like I’m dreaming half the time in my waking state? Life IS but a dream.

A spider just crawled across my screen. He stopped for second, I swear he was looking at me. Wow, he’s beautiful. Or is it a she? Look at those furry legs, what animates this little creature and motivates it to spin a web? What is a web made of? Who decided spiders were gonna spin webs, why don’t they just live in holes like other little creatures? Where did he come from? Where will he go when he dies? Not his little meat puppet, I mean that force that is making him move? Never really thought about spiders before. Hmm.. An icky spider? Or a miracle? Depends on your view.

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

9/27/2005 4:23 pm

Hi BigGirlzRSweet, love that handle! I know, I've told you that before. Profound? Damn I'm flattered! I've been called a lot of things before (most of them unflattering) but never that. Thanks. Lemme work on those other songs. xo BF

rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
9/27/2005 4:41 pm

insomnia agrees with you...some nice writing go take a nap!

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

9/27/2005 5:39 pm

sj: Thanks, for you to say my writing is nice means maybe someday I'll get close to being able to express myself in written words maybe even halfway close to as well as you do it. I doubt it, but maybe.

I'll take that nap and dream. See ya there.

rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
9/27/2005 6:29 pm

Oh, WOW man!
Look at all the colors!

__Huntress__ 55M/57F

9/27/2005 7:06 pm

Fantastic ... {=}

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

9/27/2005 8:29 pm

jayR: Your pupils are looking a bit dilated there..

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

9/27/2005 8:30 pm

Huntress: thanks babe. I gotta get more sleep...

digdug41 49M

9/28/2005 6:14 am

if that was derived from sleep depravation then all I can say is WOW
good stuff I always dig something that make me think and you definitely just did

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

9/28/2005 8:27 am

digdug: thanks for stopping by and for the compliment my friend. I like your stuff too. Lots of people are writing things on here that makes me think. And stuff that makes me laugh so hard sometimes I get tears in my eyes. I have to ration my time.

barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
9/28/2005 10:51 pm

Welcome to the pleasures of the night...and insomnia does agree with you... I enjoy these writings immensely...Night kisses and the magic it brings..

Its good to be...ME

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

9/29/2005 9:43 am

Bunz thanks baby, love yours too. "I crawl like a viper through these deserted streets..."

rm_lilypond3 58F
83 posts
10/2/2005 12:58 am


damn, I'm in love with your mind.

Rowing and rowing,,,, and I going up or down the stream,guess sometimes neither,,just sitting still.

Gently down the gentle with me-self..I'm a work in progress.
Merrily, merrily...I'm chuckling now...just thinking about how I laugh at such stupid shit.usually at myself...tonight I tripped over an iron i forgot I put on the ground. I laughed and talked to my dog about how funny it was.
I was told by an old freind ,I hadnt seen for a long time..."you laugh too much"..funny coming from him, when he was the one that kept me from suicide many yrs ago! That really stunned me..I'm still chuckling at that one..Interesting thing about this is, he rarely laughs.
Life is but a dream...I take it as,life passes so quickly that it is "LIKE" a dream and events become a dream.Yet ome dreams ARE so REAl that when I think back on them I cant remember if it really happpened or not.Ever been there? such as Deja Vue.

stop drinking that coffee you like so much!

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

10/2/2005 3:56 pm

Lily, you only want me for my mind, hmpf!!

Great additions thank you. That's a good point, can you sit still in the stream? I think the stream is always moving, and you the boat are in it. But maybe, there are some still spots here and there. Or maybe you can row the boat to the side for awhile and rest your arms..

And another great point, about being gentle with YOURSELF. We can be our own worst critics can't we? What good does it do to beat yourself up, serves no purpose.

Laughing at yourself too, how fun! Did you whack your toe on the iron and know the pain was coming and there wasn't a damn thing you could do about it, you know, that delay when you know the pain will come but it's not there yet? Sometimes, when I remember, I start laughing as soon as I wake up. It feels good, I'm not even laughing at anything.

Dream, dream dream....


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