BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F
1008 posts
4/7/2006 1:28 pm

Last Read:
8/14/2006 11:20 pm


Prologue: I hope no one is offended, but if you are, well tough tittie, go read this: Peoples. Relax, life is one big comedy club. Also, I’m just starting to mess with the A F F blog tags so..

I’ve finally found THE ONE! Sacred love! We are getting married, right now! Since this is a cyber bloggity world, we are going to have a cyber bloggity wedding!

Announcement: The parents of benefitsfriend69 benefitsfriend69 are happy to announce his engagement to:
barbiebunny. On April 7, 2006, in his blog, they will exchange vows.

oldman1776 will be performing the ceremony. Even though the two lovebirds are exchanging vows and blessing themselves, as they are both ordained recovering cloth wearers, they decided to let the second coming of Christ perform the wedding. After all, it is his job.

Best Man: digdug41
Maiden of Honor: runzwithknives
Bunz’s Cabana Boy: artofwar2006
Groomsmen: Transblucency,

Bridesmaids: sj365, goddess1946

oldman1776: “Dearly beloved bloggers, we are gathered here today to join this poor excuse for a blogging man and this sexy deviant superhero bunny rabbit in holy blogimony.

Do you, barbiebunny take this “man” (and I use the term loosely) and his cathartic bullshit to be your lawfully wedded bitch boy, to use and to abuse, to lick and to kick, in depression and in regression, in Zen and in pen, in hardness and in flaccidness, in stank and in dank, in caffeine and in Benzedrine, until your blogs do you part?”

barbiebunny: “Huh? What the fuck is going on? I just woke up. What are you all doing here? It is too early! Where’s my cabana boy? I need a spanking!”

benefitsfriend69: (nudge). “Just say I Do. I’ll explain later.”

barbiebunny: “Oh fuck off. Where’s my coffee? WHERE’S MY CABANA BOY?”

artofwar2006: “Over here baby. Is there anything you need?”

barbiebunny: “Yeah bring me my coffee bitch! And spank my ass. Now, as for you!” Turns to benefitsfriend69. “Hey, you’re kinda cute! Okay, I Do, what the hell. Anything for a carrot.”

benefitsfriend69 : “Woohoo! THAT’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout!”

oldman1776: “And do you benefitsfriend69 and your huge cock, take this superhero dominatrixed bone-a-fied baby’s butt bumps barbiebunny and her hilarious bullshit to be your lawfully wedded ho, to bathe and to blotch, in bareness and in belch, in bitchiness and in boredomeness, in femdom and in tights, so long as you both shall blog?

benefitsfriend69: “Oh HELL yeah!”

oldman1776: “Very good. Now, on to the custom vows. Will you, barbiebunny, worship his huge cock, and anoint it with oil at his beckoning? Will you scrub it, puff it, whip it, beat it and hold it over his head? Will you offer your bunny breasts and wabbit wussy to him at all hours of the night? Will you suckle his breasts, spank his little ass, tie him up and leave him in the basement, bring over your friends to torture him, make him hang Christmas lights, and all this other stuff, until your blogs do you part?

barbiebunny: “You have GOT to be joking. Who wrote this shit?”

benefitsfriend69: Nudge. “Just say I Will!”

barbiebunny: “I’m hungry. CABANA BOY, where the hell are you?”

artofwar2006: Looks up from the blow job he’s getting from saddletrampsk “Over here baby. Is there anything you need?”

barbiebunny: “Get over here! And bring your sausage!”

artofwar2006: “Yes ma’am!”

benefitsfriend69: “Aw man, can’t we wait till the ceremony’s over? Besides, he’s kinda busy right now.”

barbiebunny: “Well okay. Never mind Cabana Boy, carry on.”

artofwar2006: “Yes ma’am.” To saddletrampsk: “Okay, get your face back down there, you ain’t done yet!”

saddletrampsk: “Yum! Chocolate!

oldman1776: “Could we get on with this please? I have wine to make, loaves and fishes to cook, lepers to heal, oceans to part. Oh wait, that was Moses, never mind.”

benefitsfriend69: “Jesus Christ. Hey don’t blame ME Mister Prince of Peace or whatever the fuck they call you these days. She started it!”

barbiebunny sticks out tongue: “Na na na NA na!!”

oldman1776: “My children, my children, let us love one another, shall we? Okay. Will you, benefitsfriend69, do whatever the fuck she says, any time she says it, any time of the day or night? Will you cater to her every whim? Will you clean her cage, prepare her carrot stew, press her caped crusader tights, take over as Cabana Boy when artofwar2006 gets tired, rub her feet, and wash her car?”

benefitsfriend69: “You have GOT to be joking. Who wrote this shit?”

oldman1776, looks at watch, annoyed: “Very good. If any person or thing here has any cause, any reason whatsoever, why these two should not be joined in holy blogimony, speak now or forever hold your penis. I mean, your peace.”

runzwithknives: “Um, wasn’t he supposed to ask her? I mean she’s absolutely gorgeous and everything, and I’d do her in a second, but I digress. I object! He has to have her permission!”

Transblucency: “Oh how dull, he’s not even bi. Let’s all kick his ass! Besides, he’s a closet plushopheliac. And he can’t spell.”

sj365: “Damn he got away! I’ll agree if I can have him after you’re done okay Bunz? I’m thinking that’s about two minutes.”

goddess1946: “The joining of two souls is usually a beautiful thing. But I’m not sure about these two souls.”

humboldthonni: “Ah how cute! But my bet is it’s over in about five minutes. Like slippyjo says.”

saddletrampsk, takes artofwar2006’s dick out of her mouth: “No fair, no fair! Foul! He cyber-fucked me last night! He is NOT a virgin!”

heavensent1123: “What the hell am I doing here? How’d I get here? Geez, read someone’s blog and next thing ya know you’re in a wedding.. Is there no respect?”

mouthmusic: “Yeah, tell me about it. Geeesh!”

Sensuous_Salz: Yeah. But what the hell, it’s getting me outa the yard sale.

Orgasmic4u2: “Ditto. But it does make me feel orgasmic.”

Bct2Esi: “Oh I just love weddings. I think I’m gonna cry! Sparky, ain’t the bride HOT???”

warmandsexy52: “Well I suppose it’s okay. After all, they are two adults. Perhaps not consenting adults, but adults nonetheless. You have my blessing. And the Queen’s.”

digdug41: “Hey they’ll make a great couple! Why is everybody trippin? I’m the best man, I say it goes! And hey benefitsfriend69, can I do the Caligula thang on her when you guys go on your honeymoon? I’d dig that, if you know what I mean… Heh heh…”

Huntress7878: “She’s mine, she’s mine! Don’t do it Bunz!!!”

lioness860: “Sniff. He was one of my first!”

redlipsprincess: “Bunz has really nice lips, yummy! I won’t object if she gives me a kiss hee hee!”

silhouette2005: “Okay fine, as long as they don’t have sushi at the reception.”

saintlianna: “Good match. They are both evil. Oh and hey there Mister J.C.oldman1776, why did YOU get to perform the ceremony? I am more qualified.”

BigGirlzRSweet: “Hey saddletrampsk that looks good! Can I have a lick next?”

oldman1776: “Okay people, can we get on with this? Jesus Christ (that’s me), ask a simple question and look what you get from this group. If you have no respect for the couple, how about a little respect for your Savior huh???

NOW, if there are no REAL objections, by the power vested in me by the state of Blogville, Jesus (i.e., me), Mohammed, Buddha, Moses, The Dalai Lama, Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, keithcancook, mzhunyhole, the devil, Satan, Lucifer, Beelzebub and saintlianna, I now pronounce you bitch boy and ho. You may kiss his carrot.”

barbiebunny: “Oh how trite! Well okay hubby, whip it out. I’m still hungry.”

artofwar2006, gets off, cranks up the jams: “Ahh, that was good, thanks baby! Okay let’s get this partaaaay started bitches! Woohoo!”

And they lived hoppily every after.

Next: Full coverage of the reception. All bloggers are invited!

rm_goddess1946 106F
13518 posts
4/7/2006 2:35 pm

Smiling for the photoshoot following the ceremony...while in the middle of changing out corsets for the bunnybride ...all the while doing her best not to drool over the admirable and amusing benefits that she feels certain that the groom has been cathartic about...fluffing the tatoo on the best mans chest while promising to dance with Jesus at the reception, typing a poem toast for Huntress that she has written for the ceremony of the cutting of the cake, and furthermore assisting in any way that is not concretely written in the script and joyful to be at this blessed event

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/8/2006 9:58 am:
Flirting with the Goddess during the picture shoot, thinking "wouldn't it be nice if we could have more than one wife/husband?" That way we could have lots of weddings and receptions and LOVE.. Hmm... xoxoxo

sexymamma662003 31F

4/7/2006 2:57 pm

now that is a wedding LOL


BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/8/2006 9:59 am:
Hi sexy, thanks for reading this wacky stuff. Hope ya got a laugh or two..

digdug41 49M

4/7/2006 10:19 pm

ROFL yer just insane but this is some funny shit tho

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/8/2006 10:01 am:
Hey dig, thanks for being my best man. The Caligula thing is fine with me, as long as I can take some pics.. Hope ya got a laugh, thanks for reading.

warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
4/7/2006 10:58 pm

Woo Hoo! If this was the formal ceremony what's the reception going to be like?

~checking quick release mechanism on trousers~

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/8/2006 10:04 am:
Hi my friend, appreciate your getting the Queen's approval for us. After all, the Bunz IS royalty! You saw the crown on the llama I hope.

jadedbabe78 106F

4/7/2006 11:50 pm

lol...now that's a wedding.

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/8/2006 10:06 am:
Thanks jadedbabe. Pop in to the reception for a fun party!

(Princess Lips)

4/8/2006 2:39 am

*tries to catch the bouquet*


BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/8/2006 10:07 am:
With gorgeous lips like that, you won't need to catch the bouquet. Just kiss the one ya want and you'll be next to the altar!

rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
4/8/2006 6:59 am

*sigh* always a bridesmaid...

and as your current wife, the least you coulda done was ask me first...not that i mind...ya have great taste in brides

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/8/2006 10:11 am:
sorry dear, I was gonna ask. But, but... Well, you can marry her too okay?

Hiding under a rock,

runzwithknives 60F

4/8/2006 9:36 am

Hell with the toys or the bouquet. I've got my eyes on the best man, and the groomsmen, and Cabana Boy, and the preacher. And all the women. WoooHooo!! I Love weddings! Hey Cabana Boy, git over here and tend to the bride so I can have some fun with the groom, will ya.


BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/8/2006 12:22 pm:
Heh heh Rosa! Is that you under the cake table? Can I have my cake and "eat it" too? lol

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
4/8/2006 11:04 am

If there is a carrot involved expatbrit49 cant be far *ahem* behind.

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/8/2006 12:25 pm:
Dang, should have invited him... After all, Bunz eats a lot of carrots.

HBowt2 59F

4/8/2006 1:57 pm

lol.....my invite just arrived.....polishing the dancing shoes and on the way......

p.s......don't forget the carrots for expatbrit49....i got plans for those carrots....

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/8/2006 6:21 pm:
Hurry up, the partaay is about to start! Thanks for stopping by.

Transblucency 44M

4/8/2006 3:49 pm


I'm flattered to have received an invite to the wedding of the century.

h how dull, he’s not even bi. Let’s all kick his ass! Besides, he’s a closet plushopheliac. And he can’t spell.”

That's exactly how I get at weddings, especially after a few drinks.

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/8/2006 6:22 pm:
Thanks for being a groomsman fine sir, let the games begin!

keithcancook 60M
17865 posts
4/9/2006 12:25 am

Huh? I think ya lost me with the words "I'm getting marred". Ooops! I mean the words "I'm getting murdered". Dang it! It was the words "I'm getting mascochistic". No, that wasn't it either.


BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/9/2006 10:55 am:
Heh heh.. Well Keith, I've always considered you and mzhunyhole the King and Queen of Blogville. So if you could bless this holy union that would go a long way.

Your Loyal Servant

saddletrampsk 54F

4/9/2006 11:52 am

Weddings always make me so teary eyed..or maybe its the gagging from getting my mouth fucked at this one..

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/9/2006 12:03 pm:
Ha ha! Sorry darlin', couldn't resist. Thought you'd enjoy it.

sexymamma662003 31F

4/9/2006 4:05 pm

hey were is the damn reception


BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/9/2006 5:42 pm:
Still compiling the invite list. And we're still fucking in the limo. Soon, soon...

keithcancook 60M
17865 posts
4/9/2006 5:20 pm

    Quoting keithcancook:

    Huh? I think ya lost me with the words "I'm getting marred". Ooops! I mean the words "I'm getting murdered". Dang it! It was the words "I'm getting mascochistic". No, that wasn't it either.

Well, if you are sure that this is what you really want I suppose you can have my blessing.

Still, I betcha you can work out something with Bunzy that doesn't require a contract...

Blog On!

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/9/2006 5:42 pm:
Thank you Sire. The prenumtual lets me keep all my carrots so I think I'm cool.

shychurchmouse 49F
239 posts
4/10/2006 8:47 am

sniffle I always cry at weddings, oh wait I wasn't invited must be my allergies. WOuld rather attend the reception anyway can only imagine the sexual deviant behavior happening there.

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/10/2006 9:49 am:
Hi mouse, could you bring along a few nuns from the church please? Just to liven things up a bit.

(Princess Lips)

4/11/2006 1:33 am

With gorgeous lips like that, you won't need to catch the bouquet. Just kiss the one ya want and you'll be next to the altar!

if ONLY..it was THAT easy ...lol

*puckers up*

who wants to marry a princess??


BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/11/2006 8:24 am:
(Raises hand) Bigomist shmigomist, labels lables..

barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
4/12/2006 2:17 pm

ROFL ROFL..OMG *laughing* I sooo cant talk to you right now..but ill be back with my 2cents.......

Its good to be...ME

BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/13/2006 9:11 pm:
Okay wifeepoo. What's for dinner?

(Princess Lips)

4/13/2006 10:45 pm

I do....share you with the bunz weg


BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/15/2006 10:06 am:
Woohoo!!! Two wives, every man's dream! Oh wait.. Do I have to give you a house too darlin'?

oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
4/14/2006 4:18 pm

My first wedding and it had to be here with all these beautiful ladys. Love it.

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

4/15/2006 10:05 am

Thanks Jesus, appreciate your performing the ceremony.

LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
4/23/2006 6:07 pm

And I thought the Bulge- Blonde wedding would be funny- this is even better!


BenefitsFriend69 replies on 4/23/2006 8:31 pm:
Glad ya got a laugh gorgeous.

(Princess Lips)

4/24/2006 1:54 am

Oh wait.. Do I have to give you a house too darlin'?

a CASTLE dear hubby lol


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