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Don't Read This If You Like Cops
Don't Read This If You Like Cops
If you like cops, don’t read this. You won’t like me afterward.
I hate cops. Yeah, hate is a strong word. Yeah, I am generalizing. Yeah I’m sure there are “good” cops out there and all that. Yeah I know, they make us feel safe. Yeah I know, they’re just doing their jobs. Yeah I know, we have to have someone to protect us from the bad guys. Yeah I know, you have to keep order in a lawful society. Yeah I know, they are people too. Yeah I know, I know, I know. But I fucking hate cops.
If you’re a cop reading this, sorry. I hate you, and I don’t even know you. And what the hell are you doing here reading this? Go catch some criminals why don’t you? You gonna come give me a ticket now, when I was doing nothing dangerous, because you have an attitude because your wife didn’t give you any pussy last night? Because I’m a lot easier target than a bad guy? Gonna make me pay money for doing nothing dangerous and make my insurance go up? And if I don’t like it, you’ll just put me in hand cuffs because you have the gun and badge and authority, and you’ll take me in? Put me in the back of your little cop car? Rough me up a little maybe, just to show me who’s boss? Fuck you.
I have a brother-in-law who has been a cop all his adult life. He is one of the biggest assholes I know. He’s a racist bigot chauvinist misogynist who treats my sister like a dog. I have never met a cop I like. Sure I’ve been “cut slack” before by playing the game, but that was sheer charm and bullshit working in my favor. And being white and professional, I get slack. If I had more pigment in my skin in those situations, I’d have been royally fucked with. People of color, you know what I mean.
Here’s an example. My 18-year old lives with my ex. Weekend before last, my ex went camping with her boyfriend. She didn’t tell me she was going or to keep an eye on the “kid.” What the hell, the kid’s 18 and her own legal person. She’s totally a citizen, can buy a house, join the military, and if she were a male of the species she could be drafted if there was a “real” war and get her legs blown off. But guess what? It’s illegal for her to drink alcohol. What a bunch of bullshit that law is. Yeah I know, there would be more accidents and drunk driving. Theoretically anyway. I think that has changed with education though. I know, I know, I know. MADD and all that. But it is a total bullshit double standard law if you ask me, enacted by people who would like to control young people. She is an adult. I treat her like one. And if she wants to have a glass of wine with me, that’s fine with me. Fuck that law.
Anyway, my daughter had some of her buddies over to the ex’s that weekend. They had some beer. They weren’t loud. NONE of them drive if they drink. They have agreements with us, the parents who listen to them and treat them as the adults they are. There will be a designated driver, or they will crash there.
One of the uptight asshole neighbors decided to call the cops, as they were hanging around in the yard and the neighbors could see. FOUR fucking cop cars come to the upper-middle class culdesac to “bust” 11 kids drinking in the privacy of their own adult home. Four cars, 6 cops. Lights blazing, radios squawking, neighbors making a little fucking rubbernecking crowd. The cops don’t knock, they don’t have a warrant, nothing. They walk right in. They breathalyzer my daughter, who blows 0.002, which is one fucking tenth the legal limit. They site her for underage drinking. She has to go to court and pay a bunch of money, and they may take her driver’s license, and she wasn’t even driving, and would never drive if drinking. And if I have to pony up a lawyer to fight this on principle (which I may fo, even after I cool down), I can kiss $1000 goodbye. For WHAT? The fucking assholes.
Those kids were hurting no one. They are very well behaved, polite kids. We have heroin and meth labs in our fair little city. We have women getting , assaults, and gang violence in our fair little city on a daily basis. We have REAL crime. You would think these fucking assholes would have something better to do with my hard-earned tax money.
Another one. Last week, I’m driving to Colorado Springs back from Denver. The speed limit is 75, I never go over 80. Cars are whizzing by me, and that is dangerous. I get pulled over. What the fuck? Cop comes to the window. License, registration, etc.
Cop: “You were following too closely”
Me: “What?” Are you sure you have the right car?” I never, EVER tailgate.
Cop (gives me the cop attitude look): “The proper length between cars is one car length for every 10 miles per hour. In a 75 mile per hour zone, that would be approximately 7 car lengths.”
Here’s what I wanted to say: “You fucking moron! What about the SUVs that have been flying by me going 95-100 mph and riding my and other peoples’ asses? Why in the fucking hell don’t you pull THEM over? They NEED tickets! They are dangerous! And I can add from 1 to 7, and I know the fucking safe distance rule. I am a safe driver, why the hell are you hassling me?? I have never ever caused even close to an accident. Fuck you, you fucking idiot!”
Here’s what I said: “Oh thanks. My apologies, I must’ve been a bit distracted. Long day. Thanks for pointing it out. I appreciate your letting me know.”
He let me off with a warning. After all, I’m white and drive a nice car. And I have the right attitude.
I have more. But suffice to say, I hate cops.
10/7/2005 1:50 am
I can,t name the times I've heard story after story about the stupid shit people get pulled over for.|
I have a good freind that has about 4 cars but chooses to drive the little "89 puddle jumper because it gets great gas milage. It happens to have a couple dings on it,and another small cosmetic issue. He's gotten followed time after time ,pulled over for stuff that they cant really get him for. He kept ranting about it. I said ,"its your car IT LOOKS like you could be trouble!" He didnt accept that until he started driving his Toyota truck...never gets pulled over now.
I havent had much happen to me until the last few yrs and am now very leary when any cop is nearby...seems they will size you up and the car just to see if there is any little thing they can site you for. Meanwhile there are numerous 911 calls for domenstic violence, robbery or .
I was at a stop light,I didnt notice the cop behind me, was'nt worried about it then. After I made my turn, he pulled me over. I had no idea what was wrong!I had needed to adjust my seat belt at the light. WARNING!
You cannot adjust your belt unless you are totally stopped off the road! He says," you did not have your seat belt on" Shit, I felt like a criminal when I told him that it was stuck in the door jam.(i have an issue with that being mandatory anyway, why the hell does the gov' have to get involved if I want to take my chances!)
He tracks down my license and all the rest.I thought surely he will just give me a warning. I was'nt rude or anything.But like you, I wanted to spit out a menagerie of wording to express my frustration.
No such luck, I got the damn $130 ticket,my insurance is up more.The ticket was deferred but I still had to pay. Really sucks.
I dont hate cops, but dont feel any warm fuzzies thats for sure. Most of them are arrogant jerks. They like the power. I will say I met one very decent cop a few yrs ago.
I have another story is much worse but, wont get into it now.
so sorry you have to deal with what happended to your daughter. Kids such a hassle....NOT.Just wanted to throw you off.
10/7/2005 1:21 pm
I am no fan of cops, that's for sure.|
My theory is they have power and control issues in most areas of their lives and can be the big man (or woman) when they put on that tin badge.
I think the men tend to be mysogenists.
I'm with you on the age and drinking as well but that's not the fault of the cops.
I'd like to see the courts deal with drunks much more severely than they do.
10/8/2005 1:27 pm
BigGirl ... your comment reminded me of a chat between my almost 13 year old son and 11 year old daughter (who never misses a beat btw), whereby my son asks me, "Ma, how come all the cops in New Hope are all so fat" ... with that my daughter replies without a breath of air, "because the only time they ever move their butts is when the Dunkin' Donuts truck pulls up, dimwit ..."|
Ahhh ... the simple joys of smalltown living where the population of the police force is slightly larger than the present civil population ... why you ask ? One to hold the coffee, one to hold the donuts and the other to drive the patrol car through every red light in town ... for free lunch ... at WAWA!
And heaven help us all ... if they're still hungry afterwards ... then it's time to set up the roadblocks for rush hour traffic to check to make sure we all have our seatbelts on ... ! Tell me ... how is it that a town that allows their motorcycle riders to drive without helmets is allowed to stop my car to check to see if I'm belted ... things that make you go .... hmmmmmm
10/9/2005 5:22 pm
Thanks everyone for reading and replying. Much as I hate to, I have to take a break from blogging for awhile. Started a full-time contract job so I'll be working 8-5, then doing the biz stuff in the other hours. SO.. Will pick it up again after the first of the year.|
I'll still read all of yours as I have time, and drop a post in now and then.
Gene aka Benefitsfriend69
10/9/2005 7:50 pm
Very interesting post, BF69.|
I have major trust issues where policemen are involved.
I learned a long time ago that Mr. Policeman isn't my friend.
To tell you the truth, if something happened I'd hesistate before I called them. The city I live in isn't that big, so I'm sure the good ol' boy mentality is alive and well.
I just use my patented Total Avoidance of the Police technique at all times.
11/24/2005 6:56 pm
DC--Yes yes, Mr. Policeman is not my friend either. I like your technique. I think I've had it subliminally for years.|
11/24/2005 6:58 pm
wrtsong: thanks, we couldn't agree more. FYI, I got that lawyer for my daughter, she went to court last week. She got court costs, 48 hours community service and has to take an "alcohol course" (good, maybe she'll learn about fine wines). Nothing on her license though, which was the goal. |