Hilarious E-mail Exchange!  

Belgarion 51M
9 posts
7/25/2006 10:59 pm

Last Read:
1/5/2007 1:37 am

Hilarious E-mail Exchange!


Well, today takes the cake. I was kind of cruising through the listings and sent found one that caught my eye. Her profile, however, was lengthy and had a huge list of demands -- which SHOULD have been a red flag right there. But I wrote anyway to say Hi and here is the funniest e-mail exchange yet:

Me:

Just found your profile and I know you're probably getting a ton of mail, but I had to write anyway!

I am a down-to-earth guy who's pretty laid back. I am a big guy -- 6'4" / 275 -- I am built like a biker (which is probably good because I am). But I like music, art and movies a lot more than most of the guys I ride with.

Anyway, if you'd like to know more (I hope you do), drop me a line.

I have attached a pic -- and I hope that it doesn't scare you away!

I really hope to hear from you. (I added my e-mail address here.)

(A pretty lame and corny first e-mail, I admit, but nothing too offensive.)
-----
Her response:

The question is...If you READ my profile, why did YOU write this to me??

"You can write me directly at (my address) at yahoo.com"

I say that because the SECOND LINE of my profile says this....

"I will NOT respond to private phone numbers/email addresses!!!! Do NOT send them!!"

Did you or do you think that sending me your private email address was going to change my mind or impress me?? I am asking serious, because men keep writing to me saying "I loved your profile" then they do exactly the OPPOSITE if what I asked. It is a total turn off to be ignored like that..so please...tell me WHY you sent it even when I said I dn't want the damned thing??

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(Yeah, I did give her my e-mail, but it was really just out of habit -- I always add my e-mail because most people prefer to contact via regular e-mail after meeting on AdultFriendFinder if there is interest. But the mistake was mine, and I wrote her back.)

Me:

Wow, you really need to switch to decaf. I did read your profile -- ALL of it. And, yet, YES, I did make a mistake by adding my e-mail. It wasn't meant as an insult -- just an oversight.

I mean, I sent the e-mail right after I read your profile and, gosh darn it, I plumb forgot that you said that you didn't want any email address. Did pretty good thought with the rest of the profile, though, didn't I? I mean, I DID NOT send my phone number and I DID send a face pic (you were pretty adamant about that, if I recall).

------

(I thought that would be the end of it, but ...)

Her:

Wow, I need to switch to decaf??? Guess what.. I get 50-75 emails a day from men that seen to *forget* things in my profile. I am sure if you got swamped with emails from ugly ass women all day that were the opposite of what you wanted...you would start questioning it also. It has nothing to do with decaf..just I am sick and tired of always getting emails with shit I didn't want in them. I didn't say it was an insult, but you lost points telling me to use decaf when you have no clue what my emails look like. That IS insulting. Try being *understanding* rather than insulting and assuming coffee had something to do with this.
Yes, the rest of the email was fine...I am adamant about the face photos. I am sick of dick shots as if I am going to rush to some pig because he has a dick. rofl Trust me...some guys on here really don't have a clue. But you did good.

----------------

(I wasn't going to respond because the I no longer had any interest in this clearly psycho chick, but I thought I'd be nice and try joking again. A clear mistake ...)

Me:

OK, I withdraw the decaf comment. But I do kind of wonder how mad you'd get at someone who forgot to take out the trash.

Her:

Well lets look at that. Taking out the trash..is something required. I am hoping the man I am with doesn't want to live in trash. So HE would take it out *without* having to be told. I don't want to be with someone that needs a mommy. However, on here..men not reading a profile and thinking that the women do anyone and everyone..is NOT required nor is it realistic.
If you are the type of man that does things just to piss someone off..then again..not interested.

I am wondering...why do you seem more interested in this bullshit rather than anything else??? You seem far more interested in how mad I can get or could get, when I am not angry at all. YOU are *assuming* this again even though I said I wasn't. At this point..I am tiring of the entire thing and you seem rather blah and not interesting to me at all. Maybe you need to find someone that wishes to debate their anger levels because *you* have a problem?? I know I don't. But I also am not going to waste my time on childish bullshit.

Of which...you have a ton of childish bullshit. I can't be bothered with you. Go tell your mommy now..time to get tucked into bed. rofl...and I am still NOT angry. I just think you are a childish putz.

Better question..wtf did you email me for?? you just want to play games.

(By the end of this e-mail I was laughing my ass off! But, WAIT, there's more! She e-mailed me again right after that ...)

Her:

NExt time you email someone...READ the profile fat ass. I have 3 red x's here...AGE, BODY, and DISTANCE. You didn't stand a chance anyways. I have no wish to be with a fat cow of a man that is not near enough to me and plays games like you do. Grow up asshole.

(To which I replied: "Thank you for the best laugh I have had in a long time!")

--------------

I had an awesome time with this e-mail exchange, mainly because it had started off innocently. I did have an interest in this girl and sent a fairly honest e-mail. Then BAM! a flurry of anger out of nowhere. At first I thought I was in the twilight zone, but then I found myself just laughing hysterically!

On a serious note, though, I am sure there are a lot of guys out there who might really take this offensive attack to heart. (Not everyone has as twisted a sense of humor as I do.)

Have YOU had such an exchange? Let me know because I LOVE it when someone freaks out for no reason.

rm_KarmoHunny 55F
888 posts
7/25/2006 11:38 pm

Wow! That was totally ridiculous! Bet you'll read and re-read profiles before sending an email. That is, if she hasn't totally turned you off. Scary!


Belgarion replies on 7/26/2006 2:09 am:
Yes it is scary!!! And you're right, I will probably be more careful! Thanks for checking it out!

Redfancypanties 57F
35 posts
7/25/2006 11:49 pm

man oh man oh man....LOL.....aren't you glad you didn't get a date with this lady ?


Belgarion replies on 7/26/2006 2:07 am:
Yes I AM glad!! (But this exchange DID really make me laugh a lot!)

Belgarion 51M
7 posts
7/26/2006 2:05 am

Yes! I WILL probably read profiles much more carefully -- despite myself! Ha! But I DID really have a great time with the exchange ... it really did make me laugh hard!!

Fun stuff ... in a twisted sort of way. (You can see why I had to share it, right?)


rm_oralopal3001 59F

7/27/2006 9:56 am

Hello dear! That was extremely FUNNY! Thank-you for sharing it. The funny thing is the way that the both of you didn't give it up. Especially HER! If she was not interested, then why didn't she just leave you alone.
good thing you got to see the "real" her! Lucky you! BUT... Speaking from the point of view of a lady who recieves an anormous amount of email herself; I can understand her issue a bit. Her response though was very uncalled for! How I handled it...Was 1st... I updated my pofile to re-interate my preferences, after which I reieved the only 2 rude emails I have ever recieved. I though chose another tact... I responded with kindness. I got responses of apology! I now chat regularly with one person and we really have a lot of fun. I guess you get out of it all, what you put into it ( hehe, no pun intended there dear!)! Talk to you soon! Keep us all updated on any further interesting encounters....


Creamful81 39M

5/5/2007 7:19 pm

all she needed to do was create another email account exclusively for AdultFriendFinder needs, so her personal didn't get mixed with business, people just need to relax, as this is supposed to be an enjoyable service/site


Baby_belle5 36T

9/6/2007 7:24 am

Funny and a bit scary at the same time... I guess she had a point on her complaints and she doesn't seem to be any dumb girl either but what a sweet little girl...!
Congratulations for your good sense of humor ("switch to decaf" was very sharp). Actually I am still laughing, specially for she called you fatass without even seeing you... sorry, but it's just hyllarious


rm_BeenW8tng4me 55F
1809 posts
4/5/2010 4:43 pm

I'm still trying to figure how you ran across the name.....researched it out on wiki but have no clue but will stilll take a stab it all the same in a separate email.

As to the psycho emailer....she broke her own rule, why did she even bother responding if her rules are written in stone. I think she protests too much and who gives a damn how many guys fail to read her profile anyway? She's lucky that men are so resilient when it comes to rejection that they keep coming for more, otherwise her mailbox would be empty! In my opinion, she gives us fun-loving, generous, good natured women a bad name....and makes it harder for us to meet a decent guy because he's become overly cautious because of her type!

Been

Sugar 'n Spice, a chocolate delight and everything else that's nice ....


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