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More from the past........
More from the past........
I was glad I mowed early it was getting hotter out there! It felt so frigid when I came into the air conditioned house. I downed a few glasses of water and headed into the livingroom to relax in my Dad's recliner.
"It would be nice if one of you vacuumed!" my Mom hollered in.
"ok." I hollered back.
I was so comfortable. I just did not want to move. My back was aching from mowing.
"Why don't you get off your ass and vacuum?" My younger brother, by a year, asked as he walked into the room.
"I just mowed. I thought you would do it. You have done nothing today." I told him.
"Get off your fat ass and do it!" He sneered with that twisted, ugly, smirk that always signaled trouble.
"Excuse me it's your turn!" I said letting him know by my expression that I could not stand him.
The problem with my brother was he got away with everything. When Dad wasn't home he gave Mom such a hard time she tended to leave him alone. My brother ran the whole house even when my Dad was home because he made everyone miserable. My Mom always walked on egg shells around him to avoid disaster. Dad made her nervous. I could see in her eyes that she was afraid of what would happen. What I couldn't figure out is why she always sided with my brother. This was ruining my parents marriage.I hated my brother and wished daily that they would send him away or he would just die! I was starting to resent them too! No one could even get ready for school in the morning without him coming in the bathroom shoving us out. We all had to get up earlier then him to have enough time to use it.
"Why don't you get off your fat ass and do something around here? You can't even get a boyfriend. No one wants you." He said baiting me.
I was so tired of his sick, demented attitude.
I said nothing because this made him madder.If he wanted a fight he had it.
I heard him leap off the couch and I opened my eye preparing for battle. I was so ready to kick his ass. He came over fast and stood in front of me.
"Get off your ass and do it!" He spat out.
"No!" I said sweetly.
"Do it!" He said looking me in the eye.
"Nope." I said trying to act calm.
I had miscalculated his response and he punched me in the eye knocking out my contact.I was livid.They were expensive and he knew Dad would be mad. My blood rushed to my face and I jumped out of the chair and struck him back.I had all I could take and then some.
We were punching, kicking and rolling on the floor. I wanted to rake my nails down his face and leave my mark forever. When Dad got home that might go against me.
He started choking me. My arms were pinned between us. Twisting this way and that I finally got them free. The edges of the room blackened and I heard a buzzing sound in my ears.I grabbed my throat and gulped air!
"You are a dead man. I'm gonna kill you!" I screamed.
Now was the time to end this. I didn't want him winning. He would never leave me alone then.
Pulling his hair was his one weakness.I grabbed handfuls and ripped at it as hard as I could!
"Stop it you fat bitch!" He yelled in pain.
"No. You wanted it, now you got it!" I said losing control.
I just kept pulling and pulling more hair out. There were bunches all over the floor. I pulled at his head like a wild animal. I now felt as crazy as he was. I hated him deep in my gut and wanted him to hurt bad! Hurt just the way he was hurting everyone around him.
He let go and ran for the stairs. If he got to his room it would be over. I ran after him.I didn't want it over. I wanted him dead! He never would have made his room so he went out the door onto the belconey.
"Come on turn around and fight! I thought you were the big man around here?" I screamed over and over.
He had never seen me so enraged. I was out of control and looked like a wild animal. I had held it in so long. If I got my hands on him again he was going to pay for it all.
He started for the tree to climb down.It grew right up to the garage roof. That is how he snuck out every night. I told Mom and Dad but they never believed me. Why I never knew. They always thought I was making stuff up. It was right their before their eyes.
"ok." he pleaded. " I will vacuum just back off"
"Fuck you and the horse you rode in on." I said still advancing.
He never realized he was to the edge of the roof. He backed up again then he was gone. I couldn't believe my eyes. What a dumb ass. I knew it was only one story high so it was no big deal. I went to the edge of the roof and peered down. He ran limping off.
My Mom was down there hanging up clothes. She looked up at me in anger.
"What are you doing! What is wrong with you? I turn my back one minute and you are fighting. You could have hurt your brother."
She hollered up. Wait till your father gets home!
I started to laugh and could not stop. Tears were running down my face. The laughs were a crazy thing with a life all their own. I knew I had to get out of here.If I didn't I would be as crazy as them. At that moment I wanted to die. I cursed the day I was born! I was in so much pain and no one saw it! Why even exist? Why did God have me born into this crazy family? What was the purpose?