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Why mention size?
Why mention size?
Original Post DateTuesday, April 25, 2006
Once more I'm taking the easy way out on a blog, using mail I'm writing to someone. I feel it is a good question and relevant to myself and BDSM.
Quote: (I did insert punctuation and clean up spelling. Other than that it is as written)
Read your profile Miss. it is funny bbw feel always obliged to excuse themselves for being what they are. From your profile; "I am a BBW.. aka a large woman. If you have any problems with that, you're not the submissive for me. " Do other dommes write I am black, if you have a problem with that you're not a sub for me; I am red haired, if you have a problem with etc etc. Why only bbw ?
Can You be so kind to explain that not from Mistress to slave but from woman to woman?
*smiles* Don't worry, I'd never treat a woman I didn't own as anything other than an equal. Any person for that matter. The only people I have the right to treat as submissive or slave are those who have consented to that role with me.
Ok, as for why I, mention the BBW part is that many men do not have larger women as a partner preference. However, they will accept a Dominant BBW out of a desire to serve just ANYONE. Domme are very rare. I do not want to deal with those men as sub who wouldn't date me as a woman. I'm very aware of my value. To deal with a man who is willing to overlook part of me in order to get to my Dominance would devalue me. I will not devalue myself for anyone. Therefore if a man has any problems with BBW, he isn't a sub I'm willing to deal with. I find it is better to get that out of the way up front since I don't like to waste time. Size preference is rampant in our country. And personally, I feel that a preference for not having a BBW partner is valid. I have a preference for a partner that has a 7 inch or larger penis. It is just what turns a person on mentally. I feel everyone is entitled to our preferences as long as we are polite about it.
As for why other women do it? I'm not sure. I truly hope it is for the same reason I do. However, I'm afraid that it may be more of a way to warn a man ahead of time so that the women don't have to deal with cruelty when a man feels "tricked" because the woman didn't tell him up front that she was fat. Women with red hair don't have the problem of a man feeling tricked if he's not told ahead of time of hair color. And actually, I find that most black women do mention being black either in their profile, screen name or by photograph. They also have to deal with some men having a preference due to color.
Unfortunately many BBW are not comfortable with their size and can be very insecure about it. Because a person is Dominant doesn't mean they can't be insecure about parts of themselves. Dominants can still be hurt by cruelty that strikes at a part of themselves where they feel vulnerable. It is a sad fact of this world that there are many people out there who never emotionally matured and look for ways to be cruel to others or injure them emotionally.
Personally I love my size. I can physically manipulate a man as a "normal" woman can not. I am truly in control. I not only control his mind, but his body as well. I can truly force my will. I love being who I am. There is a bit of tragedy here, as I'm going to be forced to lose weight due to debilitating back pain. I'm almost sick at the thought of being forced to lose weight. While many BBW would find weight loss to be a Godsend, I don't. I wish I could give that gift of loving them self how they are to all women. To all people, for that matter. That might allow them to mature enough that they don't have to run someone else down to make themselves feel better.
And do let me make myself clear here. While I condone preferences, I do NOT espouse or condone prejudice. Not having someone as a lover is one thing. Intimacy among humans is a very complex thing and our mating has as much to do with biological as psychological. You don't have to be willing to have sex with someone to respect them, however. (Most men respect other men but aren't willing to have sex with them them, as a quick and crude example.) Treating anyone differently because of race, color, size or creed is not acceptable.
In reality, I can only give the reason why I mention being BBW, and my thoughts from talking to other BBW as to why they might mention it. I hope this has helped you to understand. If you're still confused, please let me know.
PS. I'm a Mrs, not a Miss. I'm very proud to be married to my wonderful collared submissive husband.
Currently reading :
Sex, Ghosts And Gumshoes
By Bob Gunn
Release date: By 28 July, 2004