Strappies and wax and headspace.. Oh My  

BeachMystress 48F
15 posts
8/7/2006 3:19 am
Strappies and wax and headspace.. Oh My

Original Post date - Tuesday, January 25, 2005

My Toy and I share so many firsts. It is a special feeling to be someones first in anything.. but the fact that I've gotten to share so many first experiences with him borders on magical. The most special of these was his first anal play and first strap on play. I was surprised at the depth of feeling and the intimacy I experience during strap on play with him. In the past, strap on play has worked for me because it is a violation.. a humbling of a man. It wasn't special in any way to me and I used it often as a punishment. With Toyboy, it is more like making love. I almost can't explain it in words. I felt it was special because of how he responded to it. But we talked the other night and he feels he responds so well to it because of how I enjoy it. Hmm, I'd say we're feeding off of each other in this instance. It is wonderful to find the activities that bond a couple.

My play style has been evolving recently. (Recent being the past 8 to 9 months.) In the past, my focus had be pain. I feed easily from pain. If you are not in the lifestyle, I can not explain that to you.. hmm, how to try.. I gain energy from a person's sexual pain. This doesn't mean I like all pain. Non erotic pain of any type horrifies me. "Erotic" pain done by another can also horrify me if I'm not sure the bottom/sub wants it. I am a natural sadist who started showing sadistic tendencies about 3. My parents did a very good job of teaching me why we do not hurt things smaller than ourselves. I have to have a very willing subject or pain distresses me.

About eight months ago, I met a crossdresser and had a short relationship with him. Before him, I'd not played with crossdressers as I'd not understood them. I'd felt that because they dressed, they were less manly. I know.. VERY foolish on my part. A great example for me of how even people who are "open minded" have blind spots. I didn't have a problem with men who dressed.. I just felt they weren't "my type." Meeting c0re (not the performance group, that is his name) taught me that crossdressed could be very male. He's the most aggressively male person I've ever met. And damn, he looked cute in a chemise! It was very hot to have this very MALE person turn femme for me. It didn't feel like D/s to me.. it felt like PLAYING. I got to dress this guy up. How fun! Life sized barbies!! Whee haa! This opened my eyes to more sensual and mental forms of BDSM. I don't HAVE to hurt someone to have a great time. There are other ways to bond with the sub, like my strappy play with Toy.
Tomorrow we give Toy another first. I am going to wrap him in saran wrap after cuffing his hands beside him (via rope behind him so nothing gets in the way upfront) and then drip hot wax all over him. I have six large candles and plan to use all of them on him. Hot wax doesn't really hurt if done right.. It is more of an intense sensation. I plan to use the helplessness of being tied and wrapped along with the sensation play, to put him in total headspace. When he is fully waxed, I plan to roll him over, slit the saran wrap by his tush and use my strap on. *smiles* I can't wait!

Currently reading :
Incubus Dreams (Anita Blake Vampire Hunter)
By Laurell K. Hamilton
Release date: By 28 September, 2004

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