"I am a sub, not a doormat."  

BeachMystress 48F
15 posts
8/7/2006 4:17 am
"I am a sub, not a doormat."

Original Post Date - Saturday, March 11, 2006

How many times have you heard the ole subbie cry "I am a sub, not a doormat." While I believe that everyone has the right to be treated with a basic level of respect and courtesy, I have a problem with this statement. It seems to be often used by subs who want a very defined relationship, where it is spelled out that the dominant can do X, Y and Z to them. In other words, they have a list of permitted activities rather than a list of hard limits.

And that is fine if they find someone who just wants to do X, Y or Z. To me it isn't subbing though, it is bottoming. There is no exchange of power. However the subs of this type (I often call them shopping-list or do-me subs) often times portray themselves as seeking power exchange. I'm not sure if it is part of their fantasy or if they just have never stopped to realize that they are misrepresenting themselves.

As one seeking power exchange I was often pursued by these shopping list subs, because I did a lot of the things that turned them on. They didn't, however, offer what I needed. That being the case, if I'd have allowed myself to play with these people, it would have ended up with them using me. I'm in no way a male playtoy. I am Domme. I've no problems with people who want to role play or hand out shopping lists, as long as they don't try to do so with me. However the lack of maturity I find in others when you tell them No.. you're not what I need, astounds me. While I may be a bitch, I do not see how refusing to be used for another's enjoyment makes me one.

I don't know about you, but anymore when a sub trots out the ole "I am a sub, not a doormat." I think.. sure you are honey.. and move away.

Currently reading :
Kitty and the Midnight Hour
By Carrie Vaughn
Release date: By 01 November, 2005

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