And now for a really fucking annoying fucked up paid advertisement....  

BaronessK 52F
1646 posts
9/5/2006 3:35 am

Last Read:
1/11/2007 3:01 am

And now for a really fucking annoying fucked up paid advertisement....

I strive for impartiality, but not necessarily objectivity when the object is fucked up. Let's talk about revealing the 'inscrutable magic 8 ball'. In real life, there is a toy, somewhat inane and supposedly harmless, but mind numbingly stupid. These toys, sometimes called 'Oracles' or 'Prophets' can be disassembled if you wish to know about them, but as this has been done already on an exact duplicate of this toy {available with instructions and pictures and results on the internet} it is quite pointless as is the 'toy' itself along with its supposed 'purpose'.

The original "Magic 8-Ball", invented by Abe Bookman from Alabe Crafts Company in Cincinnati in 1946, was sold by him to Tyco who recently sold the right to it to Mattel. Originally the product in question at the moment had a glass jar as its answer cylinder, and the outer sphere was a hard plastic or maybe even ceramic at that time. Today it is modern, lightweight, and cheap {in more than one way}. The main question asked is why did they use the number 8; no one really knows, but it is assumed that it had something to do with the 'special' color and the 'special' role that plays in pool games.


"Everyone who's played with an 8-Ball knows that they seem to be filled with a murky, viscous {and presumably harmless} blue fluid. A Note About the Blue Fluid: Although this report has previously referred to the blue fluid as 'presumably harmless', there is some reason to believe that it is less than potable. Two human subjects {including one of the authors} volunteered for a non-blind Type I safety trial of the blue fluid. The investigators initially believed the fluid to be water with dissolved dye. The trial subjects self-administered small doses of the fluid to their tongues. Trial subjects reported the following side-effects: Hideous taste (100 percent) Numbness of the application area (100 percent) Blue fingertips (100 percent) Headache (50 percent). A follow-up study of the experimental subjects after 30 minutes revealed no additional long-term side-effects of blue fluid ingestion. The change in finger color appeared to be a permanent outcome, but involved no other morbidity. The numbness discontinued after a few minutes. However, the authors recommend that no further human trials begin without animal studies."

"'Magic 8-Ball' and 'Tyco Toys, Inc.' are registered trademarks of Tyco Toys, Inc., and are used without permission. Quotations from the Magic 8-Ball® are Copyright © by Tyco Toys, Inc. No affiliation exists between Tyco Toys, Inc., and this publication. Opinions herein are solely those of the authors. Other trademarks are the property of their respective owners, and are used without permission. Copyright © 1997-1999, Dan Egnor and Heath Hunnicutt. Send comments, bribes, and pointers to...Dan."


When they further examined the answer Icosahedron {the shape of the answer thingy inside}, they found the following distribution of answer{s} type{s}: 50 percent Positive (e.g. Yes - Definitely), 25 percent Negative (e.g. My Sources Say No), and 25 percent Vague (e.g. Better Not Tell You Now). The typeface used is said to be sans serif small capped font; no, I'm not sure why I felt the deep need to tell you that, but maybe it's just because I feel you should have useless information stuck in your head like I do mine! As a help to developers of their own toys they listed the 20 answers found on the icosahedron inside the 8-ball {and, no, there are no more than that; quite a simple toy}. They are: Signs point to yes, Yes, Reply hazy try again, Without a doubt, My sources say no, As I see it yes, You may rely on it, Concentrate and ask again, Outlook not so good, It is decidedly so, Better not tell you now, Very doubtful, Yes definitely, It is certain, Cannot predict now, Most likely, Ask again later, My reply is no, Outlook good, Don't count on it. It is rumoured that a newer model of this ball has a different set of 'answers', with some of those allegedly being Yes in due time, My sources say no, Definitely not, Yes, You will have to wait, I have my doubts, Outlook so so, Looks good to me, Who knows, Looking good, Probably, Are you kidding?, Go for it, Don't bet on it, and Forget about it.

The Series of Unfortunate Events movie and book tie in has such 'witty answers' as Signs Point to Bleak, Unfortunately Yes, and Reply Dismal Try Again. Packaging says, 'Want to ask a question? Turn to find the Unfortunate Answer. The Series of Unfortunate Events Magic 8 Ball does not have the answers you are looking for. Do not think about looking for a pleasant answer. All right, if you insist, but we warned you. You should probably find a happier toy.'


...ad nauseum {some latin phrase from some dead latin-speaking Roman dude}. Now let me quote myself, because I am ever so fond of doing that and I know I have my permission: "As for kissing and making up...use your 'magic 8 ball' to figure out my thought for you on that...but be advised, as a hint for your problem of 'fuzziness'...it involves a couple of burro jackasses, 4 drunken sailors, and an iguana." *shaking '8 ball oracle toy', asking if it's fucked up to the nth degree: Signs point to yes. Shook again, same question: Yes. Shook 3rd time, reply: Reply hazy try again. Shook 4th time, reply: Without a doubt. Shook 5th time, reply: As I see it yes. Shook 6th time, reply: You may rely on it. Shook 7th time, reply: It is decidedly so. Shook 8th time, reply: Yes definitely. Shook 9th time, reply: It is certain. Then I dropped the stupid thing and it echoed it's hollowness as it rolled down the empty hallways of blogland.

Up next on the Baroness Broadcasting Bureau...maybe a rerun, maybe not. I will have to ask the programming executive staff...all 7 of them. Have a wonderful holiday weekend...and remember to enjoy all the days that Y'ALL 'recognize' as 'celebrations'!
Y @ ƒ X a [ BaronessK [ a X , ? Y
My Nietzsche, Thank You for your continued permission to use your box code setup. I will...return...the favor...if ever in your...proximity....



goodatpoetry2 66M
12374 posts
9/5/2006 11:31 am

Blue fingers? And permanent? How's that happen?
Weird!


BaronessK 52F

9/5/2006 6:08 pm

    Quoting goodatpoetry2:
    Blue fingers? And permanent? How's that happen?
    Weird!
If you get the blue fluid on ya, hun, by opening it up; besides, it does go away...after a week or two or so. Makes ya wonder what the hell is in it, though. I didn't wonder why they opened it up; then again, I know what/how those dolls wet and the stuff inside stretch armstrong and all that.

You're looking ever so spiffy cute today, hun!


EroticaXTC 49F

9/5/2006 7:56 pm


~wonders what happens when blogland shakes it's own oracle~


goboi_go 55M

9/5/2006 8:22 pm

I always wondered about that fluid and why the damn answers never fit my questions.


funintheday2006 56M
9659 posts
9/5/2006 9:07 pm

Well, jesus H christopher, what a fucking ramble that was. Obtuse NOT. You are obsessed with balls woman (women0. Vasticinator, I think not, twat, yes. You calm yourself down, listen to the philosopher. Anyway, I did an interview too, Im not telling YOU when its posted, youll be nasty. [image] I know you cant see it, I do it coz it pisses you off


BaronessK 52F

9/5/2006 9:16 pm

    Quoting EroticaXTC:

    ~wonders what happens when blogland shakes it's own oracle~
Shit would spew out...oh, wait it already does/has...well, MORE shite, then! And in that crazy 8 ball's case...it's only got like 3 answers {poor me, you bastards/bitches, and it was just a joke...or else of course someone else's words or whatever played like a broken record}.

Whatev, ya HOT panda bear!


BaronessK 52F

9/5/2006 10:38 pm

    Quoting goboi_go:
    I always wondered about that fluid and why the damn answers never fit my questions.
Because you're screwed up is why...got nothing to do with the ball, hun...it has to do with you being born with 'em!

It's okay, hunny bunny...Baroness kiss the 'boo boo' and make it aaaallll better!


BaronessK 52F

9/5/2006 10:56 pm

    Quoting funintheday2006:
    Well, jesus H christopher, what a fucking ramble that was. Obtuse NOT. You are obsessed with balls woman (women0. Vasticinator, I think not, twat, yes. You calm yourself down, listen to the philosopher. Anyway, I did an interview too, Im not telling YOU when its posted, youll be nasty. [image] I know you cant see it, I do it coz it pisses you off
Fucking point re: vaticinator ya git typoer!

I DID listen to the philospher...I played really really nice...and dirty...at the same time, thank you. I was rather 'proud' of the whole fucking thing. Sot!

She's on my watched list anyway, so bugger off!

Doesn't piss me off...just figure you didn't know your arse from Big Ben, ya daft git...just like with 'hidden' things....


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