**Your Opinions Needed***  

Barbiebunny69 43F
1457 posts
6/3/2005 5:36 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

**Your Opinions Needed***

Ok guys and girls in blogland, time for you all to weigh in... no not on a scale id NEVER make u do that!

But i would like your thoughts on what are some good things to do to keep the "person ure seeing" Interested in you past the first meeting?

Some seem to only be into the thrill of the chase others ways to make sure its theirs...



ps..poor limo driver jeffie..i wonder if he knew painting my ass with edible choc paint was part of the job description!!

artlover21000 58M

6/3/2005 6:52 pm

Hmmmmm....assuming you have shown him the goods on that first meeting....Ask him if he knows how to fly cast....then see if he'll take you on an adventure to Montana. But if that fails, there's always golf.

redswallow777 48M
6810 posts
6/3/2005 8:26 pm

Mmmmm....if they are really only in it for the chase Barbiebunny I would drop them like a hot potato....and not worry about keeping them around. If they are honest, sincere blokes they will be just as interested in you the second time as the first. I know I would be.

missy97330 47F

6/3/2005 10:37 pm

Good question. As I was shopping today I wandered around thinking how easy it is to catch a guy, but it seems awfully difficult to keep them around. At least for me. And the harder I seem to be to catch, the more they try. (Arg, I hate that.) My problem is that I am so unpretenious, I don't care to try to make myself look so good even at the first meeting. What you see is what you get any day of the year. Maybe I need to try harder to make a good first impression. Not sure.

Or maybe it's who I am finding...

wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
6/4/2005 12:04 am

no idea personnally I don't do any dating or that other stuff im there for one thing.....FUN not to be bored and waste time til we get started.....half my playmates know well enough to be naked when I arrive....


yellow9252 45M

6/4/2005 2:02 am

Relax and be yourself. If that's not enough, nothing is.

CuteAZguy27 39M
1545 posts
6/4/2005 7:23 am

I tell you what, for a second meeting, im traveling 2 1/2 hours to meet a lady this week for 2 days...we chat (no joke) 3 hours a night on yahoo, and find more to talk the next night ! Yet am i chaseing the wrong girl ? She has a "active" side that worries me, is this jealousness ? wich means i care for her more than just a hotel partner ? I don't know, yet we got plans for the whole day this Tuesday, from dawn till dusk, and we plan to fullfill it all...yet bunny this probably didnt answer any of your questions...maybe just open up and have a normal conversation on the phone and see where his style and angle in life is, get some ideas from what he talks about, his interests, his hobbies-whats being done on his spare time and see where it leads your thoughts of things to do...if none of this applies to him...drop him.

Lapkin4u 42F

6/4/2005 7:40 am

You shouldnt have to do anything special to keep them interested....if they are interested in more than one thing and there is good chemistry they will come back. Just be yourself! You dont really want someone that you have to work that hard to keep around do you? They should like you for you.....just let it flow and dont force it. If they dont stick around then it wasnt meant to be. Good Luck Sweetie.

Tala4u2 54M  
2957 posts
6/4/2005 7:55 am

I have found that handcuffing them to the bedpost is effective but you have to take the blindfold off so they can see you of course.

Tala, Wizard of The Kingdom of BooBoBia, DEITY,

mnfun952 102M

6/4/2005 9:04 am

I love drive-by kisses and random tokens of affection.... you are a beautiful, creative person and as long as you keep turning left (on occasion) when he (or she) expects you to turn right...you'll be in good shape. Studies have proven that random distribution of 'reward' is far more effective than constant, predictable distribution of 'reward'. Not that you need to play games...but it's definitely something to keep in mind.



AmberSolaire 42M

6/4/2005 9:12 am

I am a big fan of little notes in unexpected places.Ones that will make you smile, ones that will make you blush, and ones that will make your heart melt and bring you rushing straight to my side.

Jezebels_GString 51F
12 posts
6/4/2005 9:28 am

The only reason I can think of why they would NOT still be interested is that you sent them to Heaven with a smile

Beyond that...keep em guessing..all the time...

rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
6/4/2005 10:38 am

"Does he find me attractive?"
"Am I too fat?"
"Is he allergic to feathers?"
Such concerns are demeaning and detract from what makes a woman really attractive-confidence, intelligence, purpose, dignity, and a relaxed sense of self.
I'm with redswallow on this one.
Sometimes I feel just like Dear Abby.

purejoy4fem 46F/44F
682 posts
6/4/2005 11:30 am

Our philosophy is simple, have fun at the first meeting, if your partner had fun the first time, he/she will be back again. (Who doesn't want to have fun?) As for only being in it for the chase, bye bye and good ridance, why waste any more emotional stock in someone like that?

bgezz 35M

6/4/2005 4:20 pm

Try to leave the person wanting more. Leave an important question unanswered or end the meeting at a random time. Ofcourse, the most important step is to be yourself so if the other person doesn't comeback, you'll know they weren't for you anyway.

rm_RandomXS2 62M
88 posts
6/4/2005 7:07 pm

End the meeting at a Random time???? HEY! I'm LIKING that one! Donno, though - people are like onions (yeah, some of 'em stink!) with lots of layers and new things to learn, discover, and enjoy. Something I like to do is to do something NEITHER of us has done before because then the discovery process works both ways. Doesn't even matter what it is - for a Capricorn I'm terribly spontaneous - Road sign pointing somewhere I've never been? LET'S GOOOOO!!!! Might be terrible - might be silly - might be WAY COOL!!!!! I can say that it's never been DULL!

Apolybear 54M

6/4/2005 9:24 pm

I’m sure I’m going to catch hell for this, but that’s ok.

I find the whole dating process to be tedious. The emails, the chat, the phone calls, the 1st meeting, waiting for the call, the second date… All the rituals and traditions of dating are designed to cull one potential mate from the herd. Since women are the sexual gatekeepers, men are either romantic interests who they become intimate with, or they are deemed friends and therefore, platonic. Who the hell came up with that system?

I would much rather be close friends with a lady and see if it grows into something more. There can still be romance and seduction, less the games and bull shit. That’s why I want a steady girlfriend rather than a lot of casual encounters…

ByteChaser2 52M

6/4/2005 10:05 pm

In Eve's immortal first words to Adam... God! That's a HARD one!

I'll tell you what keeps me interested. It's her interest. Paying attention (beyond head nodding and the occasional "huh"), engaging in a 2 way conversation. Looking at me once in a while. You know... just some interest. Maybe I'm a little sensitive to that or maybe I have a deep seeded need for attention...

And just as a side note, first date sex is ALMOST a guarantee I WONT be back. Don't know why, that's just the way it goes.

Or maybe I'm just bi-polar...

LoveKuffs 43M

6/5/2005 12:27 pm

2 cent time. And this is all just my opinion of course, so here goes. There is nothing you can do or is there anything you should do. Chemistry between 2 people is not something you can manufacture, it is either there or it isn't. If you find that you are acting differently than normal to keep someones interest then you are better off without them in your life. You can sorta weed out people though before you meet, if the person you are talking to be it male or female brings up sex anytime in the first few conversations then run, run fast, and run hard. Course if you are looking for a sex thing then that is fine, but if you are looking for a commitment sex shouldnt even come up in the first few conversations. Course I am still stuck being single so maybe I don't know as much as I think I do. So on second thought don't listen to a thing I just said. LoL

Denver_Obsidian 43M
43 posts
6/6/2005 6:18 am

Good question, Bunny. The long and short of it is that I'm in agreement with LoveKuffs. Furthermore, you'll find that the answer to your question is slightly personal. At an unconscious, psychological level, we all have a "type". If you look back on all the meaningful relationships you've had, either with males or females, you'll find that they had some very similar core traits. They may have all been critical people. They may have been mostly type-A personalities, or type-B; rigid or flexible; adventurous or prudent; passionate and driven, or uninspired. If the type you're attracted to (and that is attracted to you) needs constant mental stimulation, is looking for you to be all things to him/her, likes to "wander", etc. than there's nothing you can do. Be yourself and damn him or her if he doesn't want to stay around. Incidentally, this also explains why some women believe that all men will say whatever it takes to get a woman into bed. From the other side of the looking glass, I've noticed that women that most often say this are attracted psychologically to men that are most likely to do this. Have you ever known a woman that continually mentioned that there are no good men left, even when you both knew a few? Have you ever known a guy that kept pursuing women that were cold-hearted and emotionally unavailable, then wondered why "all women dog him"?

Fortunately, I'm not one of those people that value the chase more than the relationship, but I do love the initial meeting. After all, there is something intoxicating about that first dialog. But what I would tell any women interested in me were she to ask the question you asked is to be more concerned about how to keep yourself interested. I love the way a woman's eyes light up when there's chemistry, and her continued interest in me is a prime indicator that I should stay. If her attitude becomes stale because she's no longer interested, I won't be interested much longer either.

Just an answer from one guy.

LimesMastsAvoid 70M
456 posts
6/6/2005 7:42 am

1) Start a cult
2) Shave a goat
3) Pee off a bridge
4) Build a yurt
5) "Woman is like a rare bird...
If you love her, let her go.........
If she comes back...
She is yours.....
If not...hunt her down like a dog...."

Barbiebunny69 43F

6/6/2005 12:21 pm

This is veryyy interesting to me!! Im loving these...keep continue to post your thoughts!!! wow thanks guys n gals!

rm_4nik8_4u 61M
2501 posts
6/6/2005 1:02 pm

part of the thrill of a new relationship is the anticipation and uncertainty. Make your time enjoyable and keep some of these things in there and I'm sure the interest will be there.

zenyen 65M

6/6/2005 1:44 pm


I'm with Lapkin, JayR, and a couple of others there - be yourself. If he's interested, he'll be back and he'll be interested in you, not someone you're not. Then you won't have to keep being someone else, which is really hard after a while, and he won't wonder what happened to that girl he used to like. A relationship you have to work on all the time ends up being a lot of work and not much of a relationship. If you have enough in common - interests, etc. - you'll be interested in him and he'll be interested in you.

EroticallyRapt 55M
336 posts
6/6/2005 11:11 pm

Good post Barbiebunny69 I wish that I had an answer to your question, though. This is a sex site. So, many of the people here are only interested in just that - especially new members that have never been on a site like this one. It's easier for many to stay emotionally unattached if they limit their encounters to a one time thing. I do believe that it is true what [blog 100words] said about multiple meetings with the same person. It takes time to get to know a person sexually or in any other way for that matter. You just have to be able to distinguish lust from love when doing this. I will agree with what Lapkin4u and many others have said about being yourself. That's what I do. I tried to be the man my ex-wife wanted back when I was married and it was very stressful. I wasn't being true to the one person that I had to be - ME! In the end, she left me anyway. Ever since then I've consciously made the decision to be myself and if that doesn't work, so be it. I'm no longer looking for love....but, if it comes my way, I'm open to it In the meantime, I'm enjoying all that it means to be human...


Barbiebunny69 43F

6/7/2005 6:08 pm

These are all sooo interesting!! I love it U guys are the best!

rm_Extrasex68 49M
13 posts
6/8/2005 8:26 am

I agree with those who say be yourself, or at least true to yourself. It may be no guarantee that they will be back but at least you will know they have come back for the right reasons.

Being relaxed helps put the other person at ease. In my case, I find women tend to be more nervous than I am but in some ways that is understandable. Perhaps that nervousness is related to what the person hopes to get out of the meeting but also can be a little fear of how you are going to be with them.

Altough I am here primarily for sex, I try to arrange a first meeting in a public place like a bar for a drink and a chat. No further committments are expected at that meeting and women soon realise I am genuine about that. Being desperate to get to the sex shows exactly that, desperation. Not something that will attract somebody back.

I have seen one woman repeatedly for 18 months and another for a couple of months. The second was an American woman in the UK who was only here for a short time. I agree with 100words that sex improves the more you know the person and what turns them on.

From my experiences I would say that it works to be yourself but in doing so they have commented that I have done things that surprised them or that they never expected. This relates to the posting by RandomXS2 where he states that we are like onions, full of layers that people have to peel away. I look like butter wouldn't melt in my mouth but I have a naughty and mischievous side that many would not expect. So, I would say surprising people is a winning formula but it still has to be you and not something you have to fake in order for it to work. I guess being spontaneous is similar in that it is surprising and unexpected.

If people like you but feel there is much more of you to discover, they will always come back for more. I can't deny that there is a thrill in meeting somebody for the first time. Ususally though, I hope to find that it is still thrilling to meet them the second and third and...... Perhaps, that's what they call chamistry and I agree that if it ain't there it just ain't there.

rm_R123Perez 35M
12 posts
6/13/2005 2:11 pm

Personally I give everything I have to offer. If the person likes what I gave, then they'll be back. The same applies for me. I'm here for fun and as long as I'm having that I'll be around!

Become a member to create a blog