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Well, life's definitely odd!!
Have felt emotional and crap for a while recently, and have avoided socialising. My friend dragged me out the the group meet last weekend and I enjoyed myself thoroughly. And that led to a great weekend, spent with someone with whom I can be me, just me and no-one else. And I allow them to be the same. This could get serious!!!!!!! But I'm not running away.......
Lets recap. In the last 6 months I've ended one long term relationship (13 years), fallen for someone I work with on the rebound, had a semi-relationship with someone who wanted me to be couth and sophisticated (which I'm not!), and found someone who I really like, respect and appreciate and who's becoming an increasingly important positive component in my life.
*sigh* and I thought my life was boring!
So where am I now? The Seraph remains angry and hurt by me, of that I'm sure, and the relationship should really have ended 5 years ago. Sad but true. The horny little devil was on the rebound and I now recognise that on an emotional and intellectual level it just wouldn't ever work. Ever. We move in differing orbits, around different worlds, want different things and have differing levels of what we would settle for. And she's not the person I thought she was. As for the person who wanted to change me? Pah!!! I'll never be sophisticated, sauve or 'right-on' so THAT'S a complete non-starter.
Which leads me back to the weekend just gone. Quality time spent with a quality person. Just being ourselves. Accepting each others flaws and strengths. Who could realistically ask for more? And I'm still not running away.........
"In the corner by the door
In a picture on the wall
Hangs a man of hollow leather
You can see his broken grin
His fallen hope his glorious sin
Bejewelled and robed in splendour"
8/17/2006 1:56 pm
Everything falls into place eventually. And it sounds like things are starting to do just that.|