FUNNY STORIES  

BROC817 43M
874 posts
1/21/2006 11:30 pm

Last Read:
3/10/2006 8:14 pm

FUNNY STORIES

LEAVE THAT FUNNY STORY HERE PLEASE !!!

great funny stories for the group Looking For Friendships !!!


BROC817 43M

1/23/2006 5:25 pm

this is just a lil bit funny but its a start !!!

its called CUZ SHE'S HOT !!!

WELL WE MET LIKE 3 YEARS AGO ...WE DRANK AND FUCKED FOR LIKE
A WEEK ....I DIDNT THINK SHIT WAS SERIOUS ....SHE WAS HORNEY
AS HELL AND I LIKED HER HOT LOOKS....PLUS SHE IS YOUNGER....SO LIKE AFTER A WEEK GOES BY SHE GETS COMFORTABLE OR
SOMETHING BUT SHE JUST WALKING AROUND THE HOUSE IN PANIES
AND ONE OF MY SHIRTS....IM LIKE ITS COOL CUZ SHE IS HOT....WELL
AFTER ANOTHER WEEK GOES BY AND IM LIKE WELL I GUESS I GOT A
NEW GIRL FREIND....ITS OK CUZ SHE IS HOT....WELL A MONTH GOES
BY AND SHE GOT A GOOD JOB AND IM DOING OK MAKING MONEY.....SHE
STARTS MOVING THINGS AROUND THE HOUSE AND TAKING OVER THE
T.V......ITS OK CUZ SHE IS HOT ....WELL AFTER ABOUT 3 YEARS
NOW SHE GOES DOWN AND GO DOWN AND WE ENJOY ALL THE SEX AND 4
PLAY......THING IS I GO DOWN FOR LIKE 30 MINS AND SHE GOES
DOWN FOR LIKE 5 MINS.....BUT YOU KNOW WHAT ??? ITS OK CUZ
SHE IS HOT !!!


playtime44uandi 52M
6545 posts
1/24/2006 7:42 pm

Oh the things that we'll do "cuz she's hot"
I liked her do much I moved here. & then it ended!
But you see she was hot to me!

~We'll Leave The Light On~


BROC817 43M

1/25/2006 12:32 pm

yeah i think alot of guys do some real dumb shit cuz she's hot !!!


redrobin012057 59F

1/30/2006 2:25 pm

Male Logic at its finest.

Two hunters went deep into the woods. One stumbled on a rock and accidently shot the other. The one dragged his wounded buddy five miles back to the truck and sped to the hospital.

Three hours later, a doctor came out of surgery. "I'm sorry, we couldn't save him." he told the waiting hunter. "You did well to get him here quickly. But..." he added, shaking his head sadly, "Maybe you shouldn't have gutted him first."

Robin!!


redrobin012057 59F

1/30/2006 2:28 pm

For your next binge, try vodka and carrot juice.

You'll still get just as drunk, but you'll be able to see a lot better.


BROC817 43M

1/31/2006 3:31 am

robin your silly !!! kisses !!!


SexCrazyCpl221 39M/39F
42 posts
1/31/2006 7:34 am

There's a fly flying two inches above the water,
there's a fishwatching the fly fly two inches above the water the fish says if that fly drops one inch I'll jump up and get him and I'll have my lunch.
well there's a bear watching the fish watching the fly fly two inches above the water the bear says well if that fly drops one inch the fish will jump up and grab the fly, I'll jump in grab the fish and I'll have my lunch.
well now there's a hunter watching the bear, watching the fish, watching the fly fly two inches above the water, the hunter says if that fly drops one inch the fish will jump up grab the fly, the bear will jump in grab the fish, I'll shoot the bear and I'll have my lunch.
There's a rat watching the hunter, watching the bear, watching the fish, watching the fly, fly two inches above the water. the rat says if that fly drops one inch the fish will grab the fly, the bear will grab the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear and drop his sandwich and I'll have my lunch.
well there a cat watching the rat, watching the hunter, watching the bear, watching the fish, watching the fly fly two inches above the water the cat says man if that fly drops one inch the fish will grab the fly, the bear will grab the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich the rat will grab the sandwich and I'grab the rat n have my lunch.
This all goes down
the fly drops,
the fish grabs the fly,
the bear grabs the fish,
the hunter shoots the bear, dropping his sandwich,
the rat grabs the sandwich,
the cat jumps for the rat and misses winding up in the water.
moral to the story?
;
;
;
;
;
See how long it takes pussy to get wet?
(j/k no harm intended all)


redrobin012057 59F

2/7/2006 9:28 pm

A guy and girl meet at the bar and are instantly attracted to each other. They party all night, and at the end decide to go back to his place to continue. Once there, they get passionate and start to make out. When the time is right, the girl finds the bedroom, gets undressed and gets under the covers, waiting for the guy who is now coming out of the bathroom.
The guy walks in starts to undress and stops with just his shorts on. He reaches into his pants pocket, pulls out a magic marker and hands it to her.
She takes one look at it an says, "What's this for? Are you some kinda pervert?"
He looks at her, drops his shorts and smiles kinda sexy.
She smiles, her eyes now wide open and staring in disbelief at his johnson which hangs more that halfway to his knees.
He breaks her spell by saying, "You're gonna have to draw a line somewhere, baby."


I wish lol lol


redrobin012057 59F

2/7/2006 9:30 pm

Why do women have two sets of lips?
~ One set to bitch at you with, and the other to apologize with.


redrobin012057 59F

2/16/2006 8:46 pm

Talking Dog For Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The
guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I
was
pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about
my
gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to
country,
sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a
dog
would be eavesdropping.

I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't
getting any
younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the
airport to
do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of
medals. I
got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in the house and asks the owner what he
wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit.


silk_petal_rose 53F  
1764 posts
3/27/2006 3:03 pm

A teacher's interview

After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager teaching prospect said:

"let me see if I've got this right...
You want me to go into that room with all those kids, and fill their every waking moment with a love for learning, and I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and even censor their T-shirt messages and dress habits.

"You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their self esteem.

"You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship, fair play, how to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook, and how to apply for a job.

"I am to check their heads for lice, maintain a safe environment, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, make sure all students pass the state exams, even those who don't come to school regularly or complete any of their assignments.

"Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students with handicaps get an equal education regardless of the extent of their mental or physical handicap.

"I am to communicate regularly with the parents by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card. All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few books, a bulletin board, a big smile AND on a starting salary that qualifies my family for food stamps!

"You want me to do all of this and yet your expect me–
NOT TO PRAY?

silky...


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