posts 7/14/2006 2:54 pm
7/18/2006 6:43 pm
A few days ago I was listening to a radio show about marriage. This was quite interesting.
The host had a professional researcher on and I was amazed by what she found out.
How many of you have found your soulmate? I bet not to many of you. I know I didn't. She went on to say that people who married out or in high school more than likely have met their soulmate and marry. (63% between the age of 50-70 years old)
Now I know that my mom and dad (both have passed on)where married for 25+ years, than when my dad passed, my mom remarried a short time later and that marriage lasted 26 years.
Now my real dad and mom to this day in my memory I can not find anytime that they were angry, unhappy, I never seen them fight, they were always happy.
Now with my stepdad, they had their times both were angry and sometimes unhappy, but they worked it out.
So I have talked with others and found out that quite of few to include close friends have been marry out of high school, several for more than 50+ years others 30+ years. Yes each one stated that they both felt they were soulmates and were meant to be together for life.
Most have been from the 1930's, 40's, and 50's. Today it is hard to find anyone married 15+ years, there are some but they are not soulmates and their marriages have been rocky and sometimes spit-up. Most marriages she stated last anywhere from 2 to 6 years on average. If your in the military it's more than 1 to 3 years. Today the divorce rate in the military to higher than the general population.
I know both of my marriages didn't last but 8 years each. yes I made it past the 7 year itch but right after that it was pure hell!
She went on to say that most will be 5+ years and if you can get pass the 7 year itch well than the rocky road will be coming up quickly.
She states that we haven't met our soulmates! Most people we married have some things in common and we think we understand each other, how wrong we are.
She states in her research that when we grow up together and go to school we learn about each other and start dating and become so familar with each other. This is because we have learned from being together and understand each other, we know each others habits, feelings, just from hanging out and playing and can put together a successful relationship and marriage. Most of the women questioned put down they knew from a very young age that they were going to be together for life and stated they found their soulmate. Hmmm...is there any truth to this?
Is it because of the way our parents were raised? Is it because of their values back than.
So is there any truth to this soulmate thing?
Be very interesting to hear what you all think,
7/14/2006 6:56 pm
I don't know how I feel about this. The logic of being schoolmates makes sense, but I married my high school sweetheart. We can talk as friends, but our marriage was rocky all along because we were so immature. But now it seems everyone comes with a complete set of baggage and I am not ready to deal with that either. Sometimes I wonder if I am relationship material.|
7/17/2006 9:49 pm
The man I am living with now, I feel as if we lived together in a past life. There is an air of familiarity and comfort. We met nearly five years ago after chatting on line. I was married to another man at the time and he is the father of my 9 year old son. My partner was married as well with a daughter at home. We jumped into a wild affair, slept with each other on the first date and have been together nearly every night since we've met. It's been a wild ride, but we've found contentment.|
I believe this man is my soul mate if there is such a thing. We got lucky, but we do fight like cats and dogs... so much emotion, but so much sexual heat. We have found a balance, it's easy to say sorry and forgive when the heart is open and compassion is strong. We've calmed down a bit in the fighting department but interesting enough, we are more sexual then ever. Our relationship is based on open communication, trust, mutual love and respect.
We are polyamorus yet, he is not interested in seeing other women. He enjoys it when I see other men. This openness has brought us closer together, we are solid in our love and friendship. We have lots of baggage; divorced with children, financially challenged at the present, nearing 40... but we seem to float along and support each other all the way. We are not married in the traditional sense but we get married at burning-man every year.
I can go on, but I just wanted to say nice post.