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Explaining Your Lifestyle?
Explaining Your Lifestyle?
Mat and I are pretty damn open and honest about our relationship.
Like most couples, we know our fantasies and boundaries in our sex lives.
Today, however, I had a weird thing happen. A friend of mine (not from AdultFriendFinder) knew about a guy that I have been flirting with (little does she know I have been fucking him too) recently.
She shook her head and said "I don't know how you could do that to Mat". I replied and said "Because that's the lifestyle we choose to lead. It's Mat's fantasy"
She furrowed her brow and said "You have a beautiful man at home, why would you want to cheat on him?"
At that point, I knew she just didn't get it.
"It's about lust. Not love. I love Mat, I go out occassionally and flirt with other men. I don't give my soul, heart, thoughts or anything to other men... its all about lust".
I understand the concept of 'ownership'. He's mine! She's MINE! Until I met Mat I thought it was the way of the world and the only way.
Mat is extremely self confident. He would certainly put a stop to anything if it seemed like I was falling for someone else, or if the guy was falling for me.
To explain our own private sexual needs and reasons for us leading a cuckold lifestyle was really hard today. Not for me to say, but for her to hear.
and that's ok. The only people who need to understand and know our boundaries and Mat and I.
Have you ever had a sticky situation explaining your sex life or sexual needs to anyone? A lover? A mate?
6/22/2006 10:47 pm
That must have been hard trying to explain your situation to someone, especially when they are a friend and not someone from the site.|
Its hard for them to understand because they cannot put themselves in your shoes. I understand the relationship that you and Mat have and i think its fantastic and i also think that its great to have such a high level of respect and trust for each other.
I've never had to explain anything to my friends before about being on here or my sexuality etc. Im completely honest with my friends, if i cant be honest with them, who can i be honest with.
I like to share my feelings & adventures etc with my friends, even with my own mother, i've got nothing to hide. I've even dragged her out to a few meets with the hope of her picking up, lmao!!
I do however keep some of my details quiet from some of my family as i just dont think they would understand what im looking for, nor do i think they would understand my needs and wants. If im ever questioned by them, i guess i would sit down and talk to them about it, but its not something i really want to discuss with them.
6/27/2006 3:29 pm
Not much fun having to justify your life choices is it. |
A similar thing happened to me a few weeks ago actually, but this was someone i didn't even know!
A lady i was chatting to on MSN (met here on AdultFriendFinder messenger) asked me to phone her.
So I did, only to be paid out and criticized for allowing My girl out to see someone else, while chatting on the net to other people!
Some people just can't get their head around it, can they.
I wonder if that is a stunt she pulls very often, with people she meets on AdultFriendFinder. Why is someone like that even on AdultFriendFinder?
6/27/2006 9:22 pm
Beck, I don't feel the need to justify our lifestyle choice to anyone and don't. In fact I don't feel the need to justify anything we choose to do. That said if I could just comment on the 'cheating' aspect. Why did your friend think you were cheating? Perhaps she thought Mat was unaware of your actions. IMHO, cheating implies dishonesty, underhandedness and sneaking around behind your partners back.|
Surely in an honest, open relationship cheating could/should never be contemplated.
Ally of course you need to keep the details of certain aspects of your lifestyle choices to yourself or close friends. There are far too many judgemental people out there who are quick to criticize and jump to conclusions. Hence the requirement to keep information from some people.
Anyway my few cents worth. Hope it made sense.
Brian and Donna
6/28/2006 1:38 am
That was the thing I couldn't understand. To cheat, Mat would have to NOT know (let alone encourage) my actions. There is certainly no cheating going on. But that just proves her view of it all. Though I have explained it to her on a few occassions she just doesn't want to understand. Thats ok.
Having said that - we also dont care what people think about our choices behind closed doors. This woman's view frustrated me a little but I am also aware that her mind cannot be changed (and why should it? lol)
Thanks for your view
6/29/2006 4:33 am
Once my mum came round to visit me early in the morning and i was still in bed with my girlfriend, my stoooooopid flatmate let her in and mum just waltzed into my room... stood there for a second then walked out....|
I heard her up the halway say to my flatmate, "i dont mind accidently walking in on her with a man, but a woman!"
lol, my mum is a christian, and i think she thought i was a virgin, so to hear her say that was hilarious!
I had to make a quick explanation and say it was a friend who stayed the night and there were no other beds available, so be bunked together.... i dont think she bought it, but pretended she did!