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Sex Ed. For Special Ed.
Sex Ed. For Special Ed.
Most folks get in the mood for the hot and heavy humpin' by maybe drinking a little wine and watching a little non-german porno. Not me.
This weekend my friend with benifits and I watched a short film called "The ABC's of Sex Ed. for Trainables." Its part of a collection I own of those educational film strips we watched in school from the 40's-the 80's...you know...how to fit it, how to bathe, how not to be a communist. Through the flicker of dim projector bulbs and the warble of optical soundtracks, a blueprint for better atomic age living was spelled out in no uncertain terms.
This particular film was about...well...teaching special ed. students about the joys and adversely, the pitfalls of sex. The film opens with a not-too-bright girl getting picked up in a car by a Ron Jeremy look alike. This was originally created in the sixties or so, long before political correctness was ever thought of, so occasionally the subjects in the film were referred to as retards.
A councilor with a ruddy complexion and an ashtray piled high with spent butts explained that it was important to teach and use words such as "prick" "ding dong" "cock" and "meat" without getting embarrassed or upset. Another teacher showed explicit drawings of the female anatomy to one of her students that illustrated that (like a bowling ball) all women have three holes...one to make a bm, one to pee from and one to make babies. This was solid advice, for even the most seasoned of us can get them confused with one another.
One councilor explained to his student why he had awoken all wet and sticky and helped him clean it up (ew!) while another explained to a boy what his hard on was for.
My fave scene showed a boy in the throws of "karma sutra for one" while his mom busts in on him and gave him a gentle talking to. "I saw what you were doing, Billy. It feels good, doesn't it?" Aw, man, that was SO HOT!! I wished my mom would have handled me that way instead of pulling me out of bed and telling the neighbors!
There were other films as well. One notable one showed this chick on an lsd trip thinking her hot dog she had just bought was a troll doll then throwing it to the ground and stomping on it in fear and confusion. Other films we watched were the ones they showed the girls while us boys had to go to the gym to play dodgeball. Ah, behold the education we were all raised on!
It was a fun weekend all in all between my friend with bennies shaving my cul-de-sacs for me, rendering me more aerodynamic, and us shopping for more System of a Down CDs. Watching strange short films just seemed right with the world. Our compatible personalities make it so anything is possible. Anything at all...not to mention all the sex we had. Hot, steamy, sweaty, noisy, retarded sex.
9/21/2005 10:36 pm
Love this one! Made me laugh OUT LOUD, which is always a plus. Where was I when they were teaching how to say "prick" "ding dong" "cock" and "meat" without getting embarrased?!? lol |
I'm seriously considering this friends with bennies thing - sounds like lots of fun. Keep on with the funnies, they make me smile!