For My 2000th Commenter: Choose Your Own Post  

AtomicArtist0 45M
5236 posts
5/8/2006 10:14 pm

Last Read:
7/30/2006 7:47 pm

For My 2000th Commenter: Choose Your Own Post

Sgt. Rex Malone (previous post)will be back in a bit to answer your questions and concerns about highway safety. But first this:

Did you ever want to see a strict, proper librarian tell a puking frat boy to go screw himself once and for all? Did you ever want to read about an Asian karaoke champ knocking back a few drinks and professing her love for a dirty puppet dog? Or how about did you ever want a rich CEO of a major soup company to tell you how hot you are and how he’d like to sex you up real good? Well now you can if you are my 2000th commenter!

Everyone knows that I occasionally use guest writers, guest commenters, and oddball characters to appear in my blog to either offer their valuable services or to vent about the sexual shenanigans of their slutty daughters. It’s a great way for me to be away from my blog to do things in the real world like…you know…join the Black Panthers or get myself drunk and handcuffed naked to a dumpster behind Krispy Kreme while still keeping my blog current. And now you can dictate the fate of these fumbling characters if you are my 2000th commenter. It shows that I’d let just anybody run my blog. Even you.

Here is what you get if you win:

1. Some Dumbass blog post with your name in it! Wow! Awesome!

2. Your picture posted on my blog! Imagine folks masturbating and gazing longingly upon your face/eyes/tits/legs/cock/ass/pussy/balls/teeth/shadowy silhouette, or moustache from the comfort and convenience of my blog! If I win, I’m totally taking a close-up shot of my taint! Booyeah!!

3. A link to your blog! That’s right. This could be the most valuable of all prizes to you. I will provide a link to your blog whether I think you’re a creative genius or not! Everyone will go to your blog to congratulate you and maybe even read your stuff. If you’re a Little Dog…this could be the break you needed to skyrocket to super-stardom. And if you’re already a Big Dog, you’ll get the satisfaction of knowing that yet one more person has provided a link to your blog and this time it won’t be a fake profile created by you. If you don’t have a blog, I will link to your profile. Hot Diggity Balls! I‘m so happy I could shit a brick!!

4. And finally, your right to choose one or two demented characters that had made me famous and to have them talk about any topic or do anything of your choosing! Have them talk shit about someone you don‘t like, have them drink cheap wine and make a bunt cake or have them talk about you, you ,you, beautiful YOU! The choice is all yours! The little leprechaun is telling me to burn stuff again! So here’s what to do:

The Rules:

1. Choose one or two characters from the list below. My dedicated readers will know them. If you are not familiar with them, links to where they appeared will be provided for your convenience.

2. In your comment, along with your chosen characters, please provide a subject matter for them to discuss and any scenario you’d like to see written. If you leave no subject matter, they will talk about you, you, you, marvelous YOU!

3. So that I don’t rig this thing like George Dubya did twice, you will not hear from me or any of my guest writers or characters until my 2000th commenter is known.

4. To keep this random and fair, you are limited to no more than two comments each. You may space them out strategically or blow your whole wad at once…your choice.

The List in order of appearance (newest to oldest)

1. Sgt. Rex Malone…Blogland’s tough as nails retired Highway Safety Commissioner. Has seen a lot in his 22 years of service including “the one guy ball deep in the other one’s shitter.” He can be found here:
Highway Safety Is No Laughing Matter

2. Dave “Chrome Dome” Duncan…not so hip and trendy after losing his hair. Is currently unemployed but can talk youth culture like nobody’s bizsnatch. He can be found here:
Hip, Trendy Youth Counselor Not So Hip And Trendy After Hair Loss

3. “Dumb-Ass Concerned Dad”…this character had no name but created a big stir amongst you newbies. He is upset over his daughter’s promiscuous sexual activities but also inadvertently gives away all her juicy details. He can be found here:
My Daughter At 917 Kirkland Drive Apt. 4 Can't Keep Her Goddamned Legs Shut

4. Robert P. Kimball III, CEO of Kimball’s Soup, INC…gruff, no-nonsense CEO. He’s cracking down on certain employees who dunk their balls in the soup and has implemented a strict hairnet policy for all Puerto Ricans in his employ. He can be found here:
Taste Our Soup Again...For The First Time
Tipadee Doo Dah Tipadee Ay
CEO Of A Major Soup Company...And Reduced To This!

5. Miss Lillian… Blogland High School’s prim and proper Head Librarian. She hides a flask of cognac in her drawer and doesn’t take any gruff from insolent little shits like you. You can find her here:
Miss Lillian Says: Vote Now, You Insolent Little Shits

6. Yuki Ono…Asian Karaoke Sensation is a legend in Japan and has won many awards for karaoke. She also likey big, big, Amelican pee-pee and can be found here:
I Got Yer Southern Peach Hangin' Right Here!
Miss Lillian Says: Vote Now, You Insolent Little Shits
7. “Puking Frat Boy”…He’s ignorant and likes to party. Throws up a lot. Having a rough night. He may or may not have a Hot Wheels car crammed up his ass. Still he is better than you and will start at $75,000 at his uncle’s firm when he gets out of college. He can be found at:
Ask A Drunken Frat Boy

8. Lorraine Dumas…Trailer park resident in frumpy sweater and shiny gold pants. Loves Johnny Depp and has removable front teeth for perfect blowjob action. Was a surprising favorite for many of you. She can be found here:
Area Woman Thinks She Could Bag Johnny Depp

9. Triumph The Insult Comic Dog…Dirty, nasty cigar smoking puppet dog of TV fame. He can lick his own nut sack. Can you? He can be found here:
Tipadee Doo Dah Tipadee Ay
...For Me To Poop On!!

Alright. Your task is before you. And remember, no matter who wins this thing, Daddy loves all of you. Good luck all y’all bitches!

ArgosPlumyKooky 45F
3902 posts
5/8/2006 10:51 pm

i will take and number 5 and a number 8. no sense in posting two times as i will not be 2000th. i am too fresh in to make the cut. the early bird gets shit.

skyking412004 53M
5363 posts
5/9/2006 5:36 am

_____Miss Lillian telling everyone that she can't get enough of my dick in her ass while Atomic is in her mouth.

Vick_Demise 44M
2431 posts
5/9/2006 7:05 am

we find out that dumb assed dad is in league with Lorianne Dumas to lure horny dudes and steal their wallets, cars, organs...

You can shine your shoes and wear a suit
You can comb your hair and look quite cute
You can hide your face behind a smile
One thing you can't hide
Is when you're crippled inside

mm0206 68F
7767 posts
5/9/2006 8:30 am

take those guest snivelin writers and trash them... I just want to hear you seduce me......

yeah I didnt stutter.... you ...with all that intense and dreamy smugness I know
ok I guess I am done, wont win shit, but I never do.

take care...m.

mm0206 68F
7767 posts
5/9/2006 8:32 am

So did I win?

mm0206 68F
7767 posts
5/9/2006 8:33 am


what the ..
ohhhhh welllll....


PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
5/9/2006 1:39 pm

Dave and Yuki for me, please

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
5/9/2006 8:39 pm

Your comments are appreciated and your ideas were top notch, but we have a winner in the midst. Give me some time to wrap my mind around the winner and muster up a committee of guest writers to come up with a post that will give the winner a deep dicking he/she so rightfully deserves.

rm_art_persists 51M
1789 posts
5/9/2006 9:52 pm

don't tell me vick beat me to the prize....

GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11238 posts
5/9/2006 11:43 pm

~ smilez ~

congratz on 2000

EroticaXTC 49F

5/10/2006 3:26 am

Damn! that was quick...kind of like ol' sarge when he saw the drop of jell-O that hit my big toe... (He's got a foot fetish you know)

skyking412004 53M
5363 posts
5/10/2006 4:13 am

_____Shit!!! blew my second post all over myself...again.

Vick_Demise 44M
2431 posts
5/10/2006 7:24 am

    Quoting skyking412004:
    _____Shit!!! blew my second post all over myself...again.
LMAO! being a trucker, you probably got one of those gas station window washing sgueegies so you can just squeege the screen and go for post #3...

You can shine your shoes and wear a suit
You can comb your hair and look quite cute
You can hide your face behind a smile
One thing you can't hide
Is when you're crippled inside

PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
5/10/2006 3:40 pm

Oooooh, there's a winner! Was it me?

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
5/10/2006 4:10 pm

Damn. A day late and a dollar short again. Oh well. At least I don't have to take a picture of my right elbow now.

mm0206 68F
7767 posts
5/10/2006 4:49 pm

I know it wasnt me

I never win shit....SIGH


MrNuttz05 49M

5/10/2006 6:10 pm

COME ON!!!! Stop teasing & give up the goods...
And geez that was quick. I went to pop a bag of popcorn & the freakin' show was over... And I call myself the '2 Minute Man'....

TTigerAtty 62M

5/10/2006 6:36 pm

Congrats on 2000! I demand a recount!

rm_AnOddGirl 57F
3469 posts
5/10/2006 8:51 pm

Fuck this - Just Give me the Krispy Kremes and no one gets hurt!


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