Chicks Just Dig The Lego  

AtomicArtist0 45M
5236 posts
1/22/2006 2:33 pm

Last Read:
3/23/2008 8:53 pm

Chicks Just Dig The Lego

Its true. I bet you’ve never heard anyone say that before, huh? Usually all y’all brothers use different angles like your car, your house, your tattoos, your chiseled good looks, your rocking lifestyle, or your freaky huge cock to rope in the ladies. Well, not me, Tommy Lee…this brother has lego and plenty of it.

Now maybe when you’re sitting alone, in your living room, in your boxer shorts, killing your brain cells trying to piece together your kid’s star wars lego set, the ladies just aren’t pounding down your door to get in on some of the action. However, when I do it, I pull it off spectacularly.

Some of you may know already, but for those who don’t, besides being your sinister and sexy, dark and dirty blogging extraordinaire, I’m also a lego builder. I’m coming out to say it now…officially, I’m passionate about building really cool things.

I wasn’t always this cocky-confident about it, though. Here’s the story. Like many kids, I built with lego. Since the day I built a working crossbow and shot my brother in the face, I knew that my mad skillz were madder than the average sociopathic kid. It was all fun and cool until I was thirteen or so and dad suggested that maybe I should put away the toys and chase girls or play sports or something. What are you kid, some kind of dumbass? So I put away the lego and drudged through my awkward teen years without doing the sporting thing and chased girls with moderate success. In my late teens and early twenties, I did the military thing, then got out and put myself through college, then afterwards had my own apartment and income, and all the while still having lego on my mind. I bought a set or two in my mid twenties, but couldn’t get the idea out of my head that this was a stupid thing to do. After all, It says ages 7-14 on the box. As I got older, I developed a mind for design, architecture and engineering and could build some amazing things, but still I kept my shameful lego secret hidden like a trunk full of German midget porn.

That all changed at the start of my third decade. While surfing the internet, I’ve discovered (amongst many other things) that there is a large network of adult lego builders all over the world and some were building things no one else has ever dreamed of. Also around that timeframe, I found an ad in a local paper declaring that they needed skilled adult builders to use someone’s personal $60,000 lego collection to build exhibits for museums. From then on I was in like Flynn as the cliché goes and have since bought up lots of the stuff to support my building habit. I’ve removed it all from its hidden place right next to the German midget porn and starting exhibiting it and talking about it more.

I now publish my lego work on a website dedicated to builders and their stuff and it gets even more attention and views than this blog. Surprising, even to me, I’ve found a lot of my stuff showing up a numerous Japanese websites. I’ve become known in the lego community as “The Badboy of Brick Building” and while not limited to only this, I’ve been also called (by those who write these sort of articles) the world’s leading hot rod and chopper builder. To date, I have three exhibits in two local museums…a Viking village and a model of Asgaard, the Viking version of heaven at the Nordic Heritage Museum and a Mars Rover exhibit at Pacific Science Center. I’ve showed off my stuff at a convention for the first time this year and was received well, even amongst camera crews and journalists. I’ve also found out that in meeting much of the local lego community for the first time, while some were indeed the drooling dorks you could expect at any convention, most were strikingly good looking guys with hot wives or girlfriends, so I felt better about fitting in with this group.

For those who like their lowriders good and thuggy, pictured here is Knuckledragger, a ‘54 Chevy hard top whose tail end drags on the ground…kind of like a dog with worms. It was named before I knew about PrincessKarma’s crusade and I guess it sounded better than Assdragger. See Princess…while it sure helps, you don’t have to be a dumbass drooling simian to be a knuckledragger. Who’s yer daddy? I said…who’s yer daddy?!

Anyway, I’ve proposed the question before…in light of this new lego revelation to you all…am I an eclectic genius or a dumbass loser? You decide.

caressmewell 53F

1/22/2006 6:01 pm

I personally think you rock!

PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
1/22/2006 7:04 pm

I think you're cool. and I thought you culdn't use "knuckledragger" and "cool" in the same sentence

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

1023 posts
1/22/2006 7:28 pm

Are you telling me that's your media AtomicArtist?

Would be cool for a remake of "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" though (remakes are all the rage!).

Regardless, I'm glad to hear you're keeping the viking dream alive, Nerdlinger

Really, I'm only dogging you cause my dad threw out my legos and made me mix motar and build with bricks from 11 years old on til just recently to pay for how much I affected his cost of living. I totally loved that White Stripes Video that was so fu**in cool! Glad to hear you come out, the Asians might call you the bad boy of lego but you are really just a big hairy pasty colored Peter Pan aren't ya?

Just kidding ^_^ wait till tipadee tries to top this comment!

spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
1/22/2006 7:40 pm

I still like ya. Legos are way cool!

They are great for getting back at your dad as he walks around with his size 13 feet finding sharp-edged, little lego mines hidden in the 2" green, shag carpet. Gawd! I was a rotten kid.

BTW- Please drop me a line, I'd dig that site!

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

JustaSeeker 105F

1/22/2006 9:16 pm

Eclectic genius. But then, I hear I'm a geek so I dig that.

havenbliss 43F

1/22/2006 11:26 pm

For your next trick you will make a lego dildo to be used repeatedly on your ass that you will later sell as a blogland souvenir.

1023 posts
1/23/2006 7:29 am

I came back to apologize if I offended you, but now... well, nevermind.

PMSL @ every comment here! ^_^

1023 posts
1/23/2006 4:14 pm

I'll pay handsomely For a lego totem pole, but not one that looks like my kids made it (ie: made by myself, the unatomicartist *boohoo*)

skyking412004 53M
5363 posts
1/23/2006 4:58 pm

_____This is a serious question. Can you make a full size electric Lego car that actually can be licensed for road use? Solar powered would be cool too.

AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
1/23/2006 9:33 pm

caress...thank you babe. I rock...I've got that down pat. All I need now is a big mansion, a fleet of cars, some tattoos and a freaky huge cock and I'll be Tommy Lee.

AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
1/23/2006 9:35 pm

karma...thank you...see, I can prove even to you, that knucklegraggers can be cool.

AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
1/23/2006 9:38 pm

tipadee...oh, I'm good alright...but as I tried to use my VCR to cook a toasted cheese sandwich, I clearly don't understand the proper usage of a VCR, so I doubt I can build one that works.

AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
1/23/2006 9:46 pm, actually, lego is not my only artistic meduim. I paint also. A "close encounters" build would be fun. You'd like my viking village and asgaard. Ask me for pics sometime. The Asians don't call me the bad boy of lego...they call me Turdzilla.

AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
1/23/2006 9:53 pm

spinmedown...yes, I'm taking a lot of revenge on my dad now, becoming a world lego contender. We also had green shag carpet. sure I'll drop you a line...check your inbox.

AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
1/23/2006 9:54 pm

seeker...thank you, dear...geeks are cool. I should know.

AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
1/23/2006 10:00 pm

biggirlz...why did you have to get all soft at the end, there? You can call me a dumbass loser...I'd be ok with it. What was i thinking for telling all you dirty pervs in blogland that I'm into lego...what an asshole I am! I was hoping someone would have the balls to tell was almost you.

AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
1/23/2006 10:19 pm

haven...I've thought of that whole lego dildo thing...but the sharp edges make it not such a good idea. Sorry...I'd know you'd like that as a souviner.

AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
1/23/2006 10:35 pm

sil...the dicotomy that exists in all of us, you can be an eclectic genius and a dumbass loser all rolled into one. But I'm mostly dumbass loser.

haven't built a hearse, but want to
yes, I've built a coffin and skeleton...see halloween hot rod online.
I have built an alien autopsy
um...the wedding one I'll leave alone
never built a totem pole but should
I haven't built a grasshopper, but a praying mantis
flying nuns don't do it for me

I'm taking notes...Mello Yello will be a thing of beauty.

AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
1/23/2006 10:42 pm

vikingagain...I can pull off anything, brotherman. hit me up, I'll direct ya to the site.

AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
1/23/2006 10:45 pm

skyking...I can't do it...but full sized working lego cars have been built by lego engineers. As gas combustion probably doesn't work well with a plastic engine, I'm guessing it was electric or solar powered.

bangingmyhead 54M
157 posts
1/24/2006 8:00 pm

Atomic, my wife's first thought when she saw me was "This guy's a geek. I better sit by him and maybe I'll pass this class." So from one geek to another - you rock!

Interestingly, when I was job hunting earlier this year, Lego was looking for merchandisers. Being a big kid, I applied but never heard back from them. I wonder if it was the pictures of the Lego penis, Lego vagina, and Lego Japanese love hotel (with the little Lego people in various sexual acts)? I'm an ARTIST I tell ya!


1/24/2006 9:32 pm

Don't tell anyone but I think im HOT for ya!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
1/24/2006 11:14 pm

banging...good to see ya! I think people have sat down next to me for all the same reasons. I let myself get a C average just to throw them off.

Yes, the lego corporation doesn't seem to like sexually explicit creations. lego builders, on the other hand...thats a whole different story. you should google lego porn sometime.

AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
1/24/2006 11:16 pm

H-N-B...Thank you for the sweet compliments, darling. don't tell anyone, but I'm hot for you, and bothered!!

AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
1/25/2006 8:37 pm

biggirlz...feel free to be mean to me anytime...just look at viking and tipadee. They're always mean to me...I still like them.

giasine 42F

1/31/2006 7:37 pm

You need to put a pic of the Chinese ship you built- I liked that one best!!

AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
2/1/2006 9:32 pm

giasine...yes, i like that one too. Its on the other website and is pretty popular there and has even appeared on a bunch of other sites without my doing. maybe another time I'll post it here.

christylovesfun 43F  
16362 posts
3/23/2008 3:20 pm

you're a dumbass loser ... and I love it!

Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety. Other women cloy
The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry
Where most she satisfies. For vilest things
Become themselves in her, that the holy priests
Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra

AtomicArtist0 replies on 3/23/2008 8:58 pm:
dumbass loser....yeah just don't tell all the other broads who hang out here. I wouldn't want them catching on. Do you think they know?

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