CEO Of A Major Soup Company...And Reduced To This!  

AtomicArtist0 45M
5236 posts
4/8/2006 10:38 pm

Last Read:
5/8/2006 7:13 am

CEO Of A Major Soup Company...And Reduced To This!

Hello. My name is Robert P. Kimball III, CEO of Kimball’s Soup, INC. You may remember me from Taste Our Soup Again...For The First Time and I’ve also made a guest appearance in Tipadee Doo Dah Tipadee Ay. Due to a very desperate situation and the fact that my corporation was losing 11% in sales in recent years, I was forced to use AtomicArtist’s blogspace to let you know about improvements being made to my company and its fine product. Since then, great strives have been made including tougher employee screening, a great line of low-cal soups for all you fatties out there, and strict hairnet policies for all Puerto Ricans in my employ. I’m still having trouble with certain employees dipping their balls in the soup, but we’ll have that problem licked soon enough. Don’t you worry.

Anyway, I tell ya, Atomic does one nice favor for you and the cocksucker wants you to be indebted to him forever. That’s why he’s asking me to tell you all to head on over to that saucy, red-headed minx’s blog and vote for your favorite entry here.

[post 302467]

There are three categories to vote for…fiction, non-fiction, and poetry, so be sure to vote for your favorite in each category.

Atomic’s entry is called The Girl Of My Bad-Ass Juvenile Dreams.

Its about some piece of ass he knew in Junior High that everyone lusted after. Its weird as hell and probably illegal to write about in the first place. He calls it “a disquieting roller-coaster ride of the senses that will make us reflect on our own life’s situation” while I call it “pretentious bullshit”.

Like anything else, there are some stunning entries there and maybe a couple that my illegitimate Filipino daughter could have pulled off better. But, what do I know?…I can’t write a good story worth a crap. I’m just a hard driving, bare knuckle, take shit from no one soup CEO.

While Atomic will probably slather himself in butter and do a victory dance if he wins anything, I’m encouraging you to not let that disturbing image sway your decision and vote with your heart.

May the best entries win, and good luck to all involved. And, Atomic…Junior High is long gone…get over it, man! You prick!

mm0206 68F
7767 posts
4/9/2006 3:43 am

you are so freakin crazy...


AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/10/2006 7:54 pm:
yes. I'm crasy alright. thanks.

cuteNEway 41F

4/9/2006 4:23 am

Hey Mr Kimball can I have a job? I'm puertorican and I swear I'll wear my hairnet...

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/10/2006 7:58 pm:
Mr. Kimball doesn't have it out for Puerto Ricans per se...but rather people of Hairy cultures. so Romanians, Hungarians, Puerto Ricans, Portuguese. It means I'd have to wear a hair net, too as I'm Portuguese. According to him, Swedes are exempt from his hair net policy as they are "as smooth as a baby's ass". hope that cleared things up.

ediesedgewick 57F

4/9/2006 7:25 am

Hmmm. Here's an idea--if you win you have to slather yourself in butter, take a pic, and use that one for your profile. Trust me--the ladies will luv it!

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/10/2006 8:00 pm:
i don't think the ladies would love me slathered in butter. bacon grease, maybe...but not butter.

rm_art_persists 51M
1789 posts
4/9/2006 10:19 am

everytime Kimball comes here, he insults you. I think the degenerate CEO should start his own blog and just leave you alone

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/10/2006 8:03 pm:
yes, you're right. Mr. Kimball disses me everytime he comes on here. You'd think I'd let characters who like me use my blog...but no. hes kind of a jerk.

EroticaXTC 49F

4/9/2006 10:26 am

And if I vote for him, will I get a complimentary can of soup out of it?...Cream of Anything will do!!!

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/10/2006 8:08 pm:
if i win (and I did) any favors or products would have to come from me and not Mr. Kimball as he loathes me anyway...and probably all of you. So...whatcha want?

spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
4/9/2006 5:13 pm

Two words.....unsalted butter.

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/10/2006 8:11 pm:
unsalted? speaking from experience?

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
4/9/2006 5:15 pm

    Quoting EroticaXTC:
    And if I vote for him, will I get a complimentary can of soup out of it?...Cream of Anything will do!!!
I would recommend "Cream of SumYungGiey" for you that available Atomic??...he is your buddy the soup nazi, maybe you can ask him.


AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/10/2006 8:14 pm:
I asked mr. Kimball...the soup nazi as you call him...he said he has cream of shut yer goddamned face. I don't think he was happy to campaign for me on a sex site. You'd think I'd associate with characters who like me...but no.

caressmewell 53F

4/9/2006 5:40 pm

I love being called a saucy, red-headed minx...

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/10/2006 8:16 pm:
do ya now? Thats good...but if ya don't, I can't be held accountable for what mr. kimball says about you or Peurto Ricans. I think you're a saucy minx, though.

EroticaXTC 49F

4/9/2006 5:50 pm

    Quoting LustyTaurus:
    I would recommend "Cream of SumYungGiey" for you that available Atomic??...he is your buddy the soup nazi, maybe you can ask him.

at the rate I'm might as well be "cream of SumOldGiey" as well!

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/10/2006 8:17 pm:
is 34 considered old to you? just wondering.

saddletrampsk 54F

4/9/2006 10:12 pm

Getting out the butter..

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/10/2006 8:18 pm:
um...spinmedown suggests unsalted butter. it sounds like he knows what hes doing.

Babel__Fish 45F

4/10/2006 3:30 am

Congratulations on winning


AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/10/2006 8:23 pm:
thank you, Babel. thank you.

papyrina 50F
21133 posts
4/10/2006 1:49 pm

well done on your entry winning

I'm a

i'm here to stay

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/10/2006 8:24 pm:
thank you, dear.


4/11/2006 1:11 am

Like there was ever a doubt! I had the butter ready and waiting a long time ago.

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/12/2006 10:39 pm:
oh, I had my doubts. really, i did.

EroticaXTC 49F

4/11/2006 5:49 pm

considering the fact that I'm 39, you're still a babe in the woods...LOL

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/12/2006 11:02 pm:
yeah...babe in the woods...thats me.

mm0206 68F
7767 posts
4/11/2006 8:07 pm

Congratulations Atomic

There is no competition for your creativity, your writing, or that wicked lewd luscious humor.


AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/12/2006 11:07 pm:
thank you. that was a wonderful compliment. thank you so much.


4/13/2006 1:35 am

Well I never doubted you! Your the best!

skyking412004 53M
5363 posts
5/1/2006 9:27 pm

_____I think I'm a little late to vote. Congratulations on winning. When you let some air out of you gigantic head, do it gently so as not to pop it like a balloon.

AtomicArtist0 replies on 5/1/2006 10:16 pm:'re too late to vote, but i won it. I won a lot of things. My big head gets me in trouble sometimes. like when i cut everybody in line at the grocery store or when i try to argue to get into the movies for free. My argument is...hey, until you win blogland's funniest male or intil you win a writing competition for best non-fiction, then you can cut in line, too...Bitch! i usually get escorted out of the place by security and beaten senseless out in the parking lot. Some people just don't understand greatness.

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