Be My 3000th Commenter...And I'll Be Your Little Bitch  

AtomicArtist0 45M
5236 posts
8/7/2006 12:42 pm

Last Read:
1/6/2007 10:51 am

Be My 3000th Commenter...And I'll Be Your Little Bitch

Snoop Dogg will come back to answer your questions and concerns, but first this…

I’m just going to come out and say it…I’m goddamned funny. Yep, tears streaming, pant wetting, ribs hurting, can’t breathe, beer spraying out your nose funny. This is not an opinion but rather a well documented fact. I always have been and always will be…and if you’re anything like me, you’ve stayed up all night chuckling to yourself over something I wrote while also masturbating into a sock.

Maybe you’ve tried to be as funny as me but your feeble attempts at humor involved simply copy/pasting a cute joke you got in your email into your blog. Or maybe you figure the coffee mug you have at work that says “If you think we’re crazy now, you should see us at 5 o’clock” is funny or maybe you recon that something adorable your HunnyBunny Poopsie-Whoopsie Cuddle-muffin Kittycat did the other day is just hilarious. If this is your idea of state-of-the-art best humor ever, then chances are…you’re a dumb-ass. But, even YOU can be redeemed. Here’s how…

First, be my 3000th commenter. I’ve treated my monumental commenters like gold before and 3000 will be no exception…well, if you consider being berated by two boisterous drunks or having some Asian karaoke chick botch up the song of your choice as being treated like gold, then ok.

Here’s what you win; Just leave a comment here, it doesn’t have to be anything special. If you’re my 3000th commenter, I will notify you privately in your inbox or your yoohoo IM if I have it. Once you know you have won, you will then provide me with a photo of your choice in my inbox or yoohoo IM and perhaps a vague idea as to what you’d like me to do with it. I will work with you on creating a funny post based on the photo and ideas you provide. In spite of my outwardly crass writing style, some of you have found out that I actually work well with others. Sometimes all it takes is a simple headshot to spawn some of the best ideas. If you don’t know my style, click on some of these to see what I mean:

Smoking Hot Chick Missing; Entire Nation In Turmoil
Explaining Our Sexual Exploits To Little Billy Sucked More Than I Thought
My Daughter At 917 Kirkland Drive Apt. 4 Can't Keep Her Goddamned Legs Shut
Taste Our Soup Again...For The First Time

Maybe the pic you provide will be your neighbor you dislike, some guy with a bad comb-over or even your own profile picture! Some of your profile pics are just ripe for humorous commentary…like say…I don’t know…maybe [blog gerson42]. Heck, maybe the pic you choose will be my own and you want to announce to the world what a stupid prick I am. Hell, I’ve done it myself, so no problems there. The skies the limit when you are running the show.

Here’s what you also get: The picture you choose will be included in my funny blog article that we will create together, but also your profile picture will be represented. That way, folks can masturbate to your face/boobs/ass/chest/back/eyes/legs/lips/cock/pussy or Chewbacca mask from the comfort and safety of my own blog without detection and inevitable restraining orders from you.

I will link to your blog and encourage folks to come out there whether I think you’re a creative genius or not. This could very well be the most valuable prize of all. If you’re a little dog, this could be your chance at super stardom. If you’re the top blogger ever, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that one more person linked to your blog and this time it won’t be a fake profile created by you to generate comments. If you have no blog, like say…this guy skyking412004 then I will link to your profile.

I will be your bitch! While I will be the one to write and post the article we’ve worked on, it will be made clear that you are the one providing the picture, you will be the one pulling my strings, you will be the one bending me over the coffee table and showing me who’s boss. Who’s yer daddy, bitch? You are, Daddy! You are!

The Rules: So we don’t rig this thing like George Dubya did twice, and we keep the winning completely random, you are allowed just two comments here. You may space them out strategically or blow the whole wad all at once. The choice is yours, but you’ll probably need both comments to win this thing so use them.

Also, so this doesn’t get rigged, you will not hear from me until a winner has been determined.

While I’m all about berating and humiliating the masses, I would prefer not to cause personal harm or reveal personal information about another blogger directly , so keep that in mind when choosing a picture and article. There are assuredly ways around this but still, lets be mindful of the terms of use posted on this website.

And for now, please stop commenting on old posts. It makes things very hard to figure out. I just ain’t good at algebra for cripes sakes, so if you must tell me what a bastard (or a genius) I am on an old post, please do it after you see the comment by me that a winner has been determined.

Ok. I think I covered everything. That’s all the rules I have. Now get commenting. Again, it doesn’t have to be anything special. The magic will come later. And remember, whoever wins this thing, Daddy loves all of you. Good luck all y’all bitches.

rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
8/7/2006 2:57 pm

I don't want to comment yet. Will return.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
8/7/2006 3:30 pm


The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

moonlightphoenix 45F
6508 posts
8/7/2006 4:04 pm

I am in AWE of your genius.



mm0206 68F
7767 posts
8/7/2006 6:27 pm

oh well

lightning doesnt strike twice and I will wish the best for the lucky puke that does win....

kisses ...m.

PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
8/7/2006 6:40 pm

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
8/7/2006 6:41 pm

stoopid smileys..

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

cuteNEway 41F

8/7/2006 6:44 pm

OboesHonedIambs 62F

8/7/2006 6:50 pm

Being your 3000th commenter has good bennies!

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee

catseyes23 61F

8/7/2006 9:16 pm

I'm biting my nails and twirling my big toe in the sand, hoping horror upon horror that it just could be me!

rm_bucfannn 61M/60F
2110 posts
8/7/2006 10:27 pm

Gee. I never win anything. Ever.

QueenofBitches69 46F

8/7/2006 10:50 pm

Hey you sexy fucker! Ya wanna?

skyking412004 53M
5363 posts
8/7/2006 11:34 pm

_____My name in blue, is that better than my name in lights? I'm in "The Big Time" now, baby!!!

Nina_Dee 61F

8/8/2006 2:44 am

    Quoting skyking412004:
    _____My name in blue, is that better than my name in lights? I'm in "The Big Time" now, baby!!!
Oh yeah? Well surprise, surprise. Your name may be in blue but I'm in it too and I am after that coveted spot along with you. Yoo Hoo!

catseyes23 61F

8/8/2006 2:55 am

Only two posts?! I wonder if either one of mine will hit the right spot? I'll even let you bend me over the coffee table and show me who's boss. How's that for a bribe!

cuteNEway 41F

8/8/2006 9:56 am

I am SOOOO rolling my eyes at all the ass kissing going on around here...YYYAAAAAAWWWWWNNNNNNN

WaterBabyRocks 58M

8/8/2006 9:58 am

Well I must say that I am looking forward to who becomes the winner. At least it's not a beauty contest because I would lose, big time!

Just look at all these lovely ladies posting here. You lucky man, Atomic.

I do see Skyking there amongst us. I am happy to see that I'm not the only male commenting, my friend.

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
8/8/2006 3:08 pm

Did I win? Did I win?

skyking412004 53M
5363 posts
8/8/2006 4:29 pm

_____At least I got to use my two posts. Usually you have a winner before I get my second one off. If I win, I get linked to myself? I already "link" with myself way too much as it is!

mm0206 68F
7767 posts
8/8/2006 6:21 pm

jeeezz no winner yet....

Helloooo Anybody home?????

tender hugs

ArtisticTwist75 41F
2505 posts
8/8/2006 8:45 pm

You mean you aren't already my little bitch?


rm_AnOddGirl 57F
3469 posts
8/8/2006 9:57 pm

Are you there yet?????

ArtisticTwist75 41F
2505 posts
8/8/2006 10:52 pm

A blog a day keeps the lego's away...


rm_gerson42 52M
2419 posts
8/8/2006 10:55 pm

Yes, you absolutely are funny as hell. Even if you did use me as fodder and an example. Advance congrats on having so much extra time on your hands that you have managed close to 3000 comments. lol

QueenofBitches69 46F

8/9/2006 12:22 am

HUH, I have been waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting...........

QueenofBitches69 46F

8/9/2006 12:24 am

OOOOOOOOOOO shoot, forgot to tell you, I heard a rumor! The rumor has it that my man will be coming back soon! You know who MY MAN is right? His Nuttz have a special place in my mouth, Ummmm I mean Heart, yeah thats it, in my heart!

rm_AnOddGirl 57F
3469 posts
8/9/2006 12:35 am

And the winner is....

rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
8/9/2006 1:10 am

Damn, I forgot to come back.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

Nina_Dee 61F

8/9/2006 1:25 am

Saying "Hi again!"

moonlightphoenix 45F
6508 posts
8/9/2006 1:57 am

So....what's the word here???

cuteNEway 41F

8/9/2006 5:11 am

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...HUH? how the hell did I get here??

Atomic did you fuckin slip me a mickey again??

Jeez man you know I'll do you anyway!

multitasksextoy 58M  
3511 posts
8/9/2006 7:10 am

I think I would rather bend a nice horny lady over the coffee table than some smart ass with a mustache and goatee!!!!!

TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
8/9/2006 8:02 am

I like this raffle idea, lol.

AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
8/9/2006 12:40 pm

Damn, look at all of you! I go to sleep, go to work, come home for lunch and find that I have a winner. Should I let you go on fighting amongst eachother, bribing, being caty, and offering to shag me rotten...just so I can get more comments? nah, settle down, bitches we have a winner! I'll be working with my winner shortly and you will see results, maybe not the very next post but shortly after that. That way you can all wish it was you. See you in a bit and thanks for being a part of it.

CognitiveVoodoo 45F

8/9/2006 4:55 pm

Damn, I'm a little disappointed. While I do think your idea is pure evil genius, I saw your blog title and then your pic and immediately thought, "Yes! I would absolutely LOVE to have that tough-looking guy as my bitch!" So if I suggested that the pic you use is one of you shackled to a wall and me raking a hunting kinfe gently across your balls, would you use it? (Of course, we'd actually have to take the picture first, you know) Don't disappoint me... I'm actually considering inviting you to be my evil sidekick once I get this ball rolling...

AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/11/2006 8:44 pm:
well, I keep my standards real low so I'm never dissapointed but I never let anyone rake a hunking knife across my balls unless there is food involved. then anything goes...and soon as you get the ball rolling...isn't that sort of a sensitive choice of words?

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
8/9/2006 9:44 pm

DAMN...I'm gone for a couple of days and I miss a glorious opportunity like this...congrats on 3000 comments anyway pal...

AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/11/2006 8:44 pm:
yep, you missed it...but thank you for your constant support.

BadAssBlonde1 56F
4989 posts
8/11/2006 6:01 am

Did I make it in time? Bitch eh? lmao . . . Pretty cool. I was sent over to your blog by LustyTaurusHave a pleasant weekend.

Lady Hunter / BAB

After all the sex is gone, there is the mind - Lady Hunter / BAB

Copyright © House of Lady Hunter 1998-2009

AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/11/2006 8:46 pm:
thank you're too late to win this one, but you're welcome to come back and check out some old works or see what I do in the future...its always something interesting. thanks for coming by.

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