Atomic Blast Hits Hawaii...And She Liked It!  

AtomicArtist0 45M
5236 posts
4/26/2006 12:14 am

Last Read:
3/30/2008 10:55 am

Atomic Blast Hits Hawaii...And She Liked It!

“You wouldn’t believe what an obnoxious, self-centered prick AtomicArtist can be sometimes”, Vick_Demise , a source close to the 34 year old told reporters last Monday. “I mean, he’s my bud and all but every time something he deems awesome happens to him…like winning some stupid award or getting hooked up with a hottie, you never hear the end of it for a week. I mean…Shut up already, damn!”

Mr. Demise, or Vick as his friends call him is referring to an imaginary cyber key party that never took place this weekend at saddle tramp’s multi-acre farm in Saskatchewan. The women in attendance were instructed to wait in one of the ranch’s many themed rooms wearing their favorite sexual attire…in some cases nothing at all, while the men were to draw a room key from Saddle’s 10 gallon cowboy hat. Each key had a pictorial clue that offered insight as to the lady waiting within. The event was exclusively for blogging members of a sex website known as AdultFriendFinder and can be found here. [post 319220]

“I agree”, chimed in MrNuttz. “I arrived at the front gate of the farm with my buddies, Vick, digdug, Tiger and Taurus with the intent to have a good time and meet some lovely ladies. Then Atomic shows up and starts doing donuts in the grass on this little motor scooter. He takes one look at me, tries to flash me the black power sign like he’s Vanilla Ice or something, then falls off the damn scooter. I knew he was going to turn this whole event into a fucking circus. What a jackass!”

“Yeah, I didn’t much appreciate him tearing up the front lawn outside my gates”, said the Prince Albert native, “especially since he did it with my own scooter he found in the garage. He doesn’t know how to ride. That probably explains why he fell off the damn thing. But anyway, I invited him as I sort of have a thing for obnoxious jerks. He’s kinda cute after like five LeBattes.”

When asked how the sequence of events unfolded in his mind, the self-centered prick had this to say; “Yeah, I think I made a pretty good impression. I bonded well with the homies outside and the donuts on the motor scooter was funny as hell. But I was ready to go inside and get all freaky-deaky with some hot broads, that’s for sure”, then added. “Did I mention I’ve won some major awards?”

Once inside, the demure gentlemen and Atomic were seated in the den and served drinks by saddle tramp, the only female in sight as the rest were waiting patiently in their separate themed rooms. She was attractive with reddish brown hair, deep-lidded bedroom eyes and wore a blue silk teddy that barely covered her circus-freak-sized melons. She explained that each key held a clue to the personality of the woman in waiting and the room number that corresponded with each door and that every woman was game, including herself. She circled the room offering her upturned cowboy hat to each man as they drew keys.

“I was really nervous when I drew my key”, reminisced Atomic. “There were so many potential choices in there as I though about so many different possibilities as I reached in, picked up and dropped several keys, trying to make my difficult choice. Tiller would bench press me then wrestle me to the ground, goddessofthedawn would get all mystical and aloof on my ass, [blog Dysgyzed] would probably brand me with some big word I can only pretend to know the meaning of, Karma would probably curse me out in Spanish and Caress will just turn away from me. So many tough choices. I’d have to do my manly duty with any of them. That’s the rules to these here key parties. I reached in and finally settled on one key that seemed right. I looked and it had a tiki on it. That could mean only one thing…[blog 1hotwahine] Hot Diggity Balls!!

Atomic made the journey upstairs and to the room with the correlating number on the key but not without first ogling his reflection in a mirror on the way to Wahine’s room. “Gotta check myself before I wreck myself”, Atomic told the mirror. He observed his artsy, pretentious attire…black pants with a bright red Asian brocade Chinese silk shirt opened down the front to reveal a black ribbed shirt beneath. His mop of spikey, Kramer hair as neat as it will ever get. Atomic practiced his eyebrow batting and his most mischievous grin in the mirror and like an egotistical asshole, he then kissed his own bicep.

Nervously, he popped a couple of breath mints into his mouth, slipped the key into the door and turned the knob. “She was tall and quite striking” he told our reporters “and I could hear Tom Waits playing in the background. My absolute favorite”, he reflected. “she had on a red tropical floral print sarong and stood beside a low futon. The room was Hawaiian themed with palm fronds, tikis, and hula girls…much like my own artwork and d├ęcor at home. She was like the goddess Pele herself. And like something right out of my own juvenile dreams, there on the night table sat a lego hotrod and very well built at that. There was a rather thick phone book on the floor next to her. I stepped up on it and we kissed. That sealed the deal. It was like she willed the key into my hand.”

“I was expecting him to be a little taller,” the 52 year old Maui resident stated when asked what she had thought of him. He was kinda awkward and geeky. He was trying to impress me with Hawaiian words he knew, but mispronounced most of them. We talked for a bit before getting down and dirty and he’s really soft spoken, actually and not nearly as funny in real life as his blog makes him out to be.” Then added, “not that I think his blog is funny.” When asked about the sequence of events, she reflected, “I usually stay stone sober, but in order to make this experience a bit more enjoyable, I was willing to get myself liquored up for this putz so we knocked back a couple of shots of Cuervo Gold and opened a bottle of wine. I flew all the way from Hawaii after all and I came out here to get plowed by somebody. Its been awhile since I had any. You see, most of the time I take my men like I take my coffee…alone and in front of the computer.”

“After we got half in the bag he wasn’t such a bad conversationalist. We hit on one of my fave topics…The Wizard of Oz. He was talking some crazy shit about how you can see a silhouette of a munchkin hanging himself in one of the scenes and how if you play the Wizard of Oz and Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon at the same time you pass out or go back in time or get freaked out or some shit…I don’t know what the fuck he was talking about, really.”

When trying to ascertain exact details of how the sex ensued following conversation, both Wahine and Atomic seemed to dance around the issue to our reporters offering only vague, artsy and pretentious bullshit like…“wahine and kane entwined ‘neath the taboo moon” and “our offering flow hot like pahoehoe”. Then they showed us this trick you can do with your hands…you sort of hold them together and the spaces between your fingers looks like a pussy. What a couple of freaks! We had to get our dirt from other sources.

“Are you kidding, Atomic won’t shut up for weeks about the sweet, sweet pineapple lovin’ he got from Wahine”, Vick Demise bemused. “Man, every ten minutes its Wahine did this, Wahine sucked that. I won a major award. Damn, won’t this jerkass let up about it? I’m sick of hearing it! When asked what he heard about their age difference, Vick had this to say; “I don’t know…Atomic seemed pretty stoked to schtook an inductee into the Red Hat Society. Its his weird thing, I suppose. Whatever floats his tool, I guess. She seems like a pretty hot chick, though. I’d do her."

When asked if 1hotwahine would ever consider another encounter with AtomicArtist, she stated that, “yeah…he kinda grows on ya…kinda like jock itch.”

This has been a collaboration with [blog 1hotwahine] to see the same story told in her words, click on her post.
Saddy Had a Party

GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11240 posts
4/26/2006 1:48 am

LMAO ....

~ poutz ~ , reading my 'parners' so far you've had a much better time LMAOOOO

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/27/2006 12:32 pm:
sorry you didn't have as an interesting time. You couldn't swap either as it was a key party, not a swingers party.

GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11240 posts
4/26/2006 1:57 am

LMAO .... ~perkz~

~ poutz ~ , reading my 'partners' so far you've had a much better time LMAOOOO

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/27/2006 12:33 pm:
see comment above

saddletrampsk 54F

4/26/2006 7:48 am

Atomic..omg..those pineapple stains were so hard to remove off the celing..sheesh..glad you had a great time with the hottie from hawaii..

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/27/2006 12:43 pm:
the pinapple stains made it all the way to the ceiling? Heck, we really were crazy.

caressmewell 53F

4/26/2006 7:59 am

Atomic...I could never turn you away hun.

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/27/2006 12:44 pm:
but you are turning away from me...see there you are doing it now. there ya are doing it again. you just keep turning away.

rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
4/26/2006 9:38 am

You were standing on a phone book???!!! Geez...

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/27/2006 12:46 pm: was the book for every residence and business in Canada and it still wasn't enough.

rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
4/26/2006 9:40 am

    Quoting saddletrampsk:
    Atomic..omg..those pineapple stains were so hard to remove off the celing..sheesh..glad you had a great time with the hottie from hawaii..
oops, you saw that, huh? Sorry, Saddle. Maybe you can like put a mirror over it or something.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/27/2006 12:47 pm:
yeah...mirror on the ceiling. there is already one in every other room on saddle's ranch, so why not the hawaiian room.

TTigerAtty 62M

4/26/2006 2:37 pm

Funny and tastefully done, A-Bomb! But, we wanna hear all the good stuff now!

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/27/2006 12:48 pm:
you'll never get the juiciest details, Tiger. but maybe you heard us in the other room as you were there too.

clevergirl4U 58F

4/26/2006 6:53 pm

So glad wahine finally surrendered (well, got drunk enough?) to do her "younger man"...very funny account of the adventure!

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/27/2006 12:49 pm:
yeah...ya gotta be pretty drunk to want to sleep with me.

rm_art_persists 52M
1789 posts
4/26/2006 10:15 pm

Hawaii won't be the same....

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/27/2006 12:50 pm:
no it wont...

tillerbabe 56F

4/27/2006 5:28 pm

LMAO!!!! OMG! "HOT1" got laid!!!! Woo-hOO!!!!! And, I would not "bench press" you! just throw you over my shoulder and and toss you on the bed!

AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/27/2006 10:26 pm: wouldn't bench press me? would you at least want to arm wrestle, then?

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
4/29/2006 11:37 am

These parties never go the way you expect...I for one was only intending to watch, and then next thing you know I'm in the middle of all this hot sweaty wet body grinding fuck me in the ass now kinda orginess...and I woke up with a sore dick and everything. Oh least it didn't hurt when I peed.

Wasn't that a party...


AtomicArtist0 replies on 4/29/2006 1:06 pm:
you mean...its not SUPPOSED to hurt when you pee?!

skyking412004 53M
5363 posts
5/1/2006 11:32 pm

_____I enjoy how you poke fun at yourself. The best men can.

AtomicArtist0 replies on 5/2/2006 12:53 pm:
yes, self-loathing humor works well...and plus...a short, out of shape, egotistical dorky guy can't be made fun of if he has done it to himself already.

MrNuttz05 49M

5/7/2006 8:12 am

Atomic, let's face it! You are a icon here in BLOGLAND. Don't take your popularity here in such a nonchalant manner. Skyking, Vick, Persists, myself, & countless others are glad to be in your entourage... Your intellect, humor, & 'pin-up' ability has set you on a pedestal that is far beyond mortal... You, my friend, are 'AA' in 'AdultFriendFinder' No, I mean it! You are the 'AA' in 'AdultFriendFinder'... You really are...

catseyes23 61F

8/1/2006 5:06 am

And all this happened before I discovered you, Atomic? *Kicks the sand*
Aww shucks-would I have been invited if you had known me then?

AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/1/2006 12:34 pm:
yes, you would have been but you had to have commented on saddletramp's post about the cyber key party. wahine and I were "linked" randomly as names were drawn out of a hat. we didn't really know each other well when we were linked but decided to do a colaboration together about it and we have been good friends ever since.

christylovesfun 44F  
16414 posts
3/26/2008 12:49 am

"You see, most of the time I take my men like I take my coffee…alone and in front of the computer.”

sounds familiar!

Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety. Other women cloy
The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry
Where most she satisfies. For vilest things
Become themselves in her, that the holy priests
Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra

AtomicArtist0 replies on 3/30/2008 10:59 am:
I don't know...lately you've been taking your men while standing, on your back, on all fours, in the shower, on the living room floor, on the couch, and with your legs behind your head. Ohhhh yeah!

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