Ask Snoop Dogg  

AtomicArtist0 45M
5236 posts
8/4/2006 6:08 pm

Last Read:
2/8/2008 12:56 pm

Ask Snoop Dogg

Dear Snoop Dogg

My husband and I are having his boss from the marketing firm and his wife over for dinner next week. If impressed with our presentation, this could yield a much needed promotion. The problem is, I’m not a very good cook and with the medication and mood swings and all, I’m just not a very good hostess in general. My home is a dump and I can’t really find the motivation to clean it up. What would you do, Snoop?

Medicated in Missoula

Yo Meds

That shit’s wac, Babydoll. You chillin’ hard core all up on da Prozac, Vikadin, Zoloft, rum and cokes, all kinds of shiznit. S’aight doh. Fo’ shizzle Snoop D-O-Double-Jizzle likes to kick it west coast style wit da cronic an’ da gin and juice, yaw. Here what to do, girl. Buy up some weed, some fo-tys, some uppers, downers, laughers, screamers, blues, reds, goofballs and a big ol’ bucket of fried chicken. Put a truckload o jell-o in yer hot tub and don’t worry ‘bout cleanin’ da crib, Dawg. Lose the bra and fo’ sho’ you have da most fly dope-ass party in yo hood. Fo’ Shizzle.

Dear Snoop Dogg

I have an 87 Honda Civic with a shit-load of body rust and a blown head gasket. It backfires whenever I try to start it and stalls most of the time when I‘m trying to get to work at Dunkin‘ Donuts. It’s a piece of crap, but I’m broke dick and I can’t afford a new car. What can I do to fix it up a little? By the way, even though I’m a middle aged white dude who lives in the suburbs, I dig your music…or my son does, anyway. Rock on, Snoop…or on…whatever you people do.

Befuddled in Baltimore

Yo, ‘Fuddled

What’s crackalacking, Pops? Yo, to turn dat ride from fucked up to fly you wantin’ da dopest twenty-fo’s…you know, da ones dat spin backwards when you stopped at da light. And copious chrome, Dawg. Save yer Benjamins and buy up da most wac sound system thumpin’ dem beats you can get. Fo’ shizzle bitches be macking yer ride sho’ as I’m Snoop D-O-Double-Jizzle.

Dear Snoop Dogg,

I’m a 91 year old woman living alone in a small apartment with only my cat, Patches as company. I used to belong to a bridge club that met monthly and was my only means of social interaction. Last May, I had outlived the last of my bridge club friends and while I wanted to win the tournament this year, I didn’t want to win like this. I have my knitting that keeps me busy but my hands are not what they used to be what with the arthritis. My grandchildren hardly visit me anymore. Any advice you may have to deal with loneliness in missing everyone who had passed on would be greatly appreciated.

Lonely in Lubbock.

Yo Lonely,

I hear ya, Oldschool Betty. Snoop had plenty homies back in the day who thanks to some fucked up gangsta shit now kickin’ it wit da Bigg G-O- Double-Jizzle. You got yer 2-Pac, Easy-E, B.I.G, and ODB, all ain’t here no mo’ Dawg. East Coast, West Coast…don’t matta, we all brothas and I miss ‘em. What I do when I’m missing dem hard hittin’ fools, I kick back and smoke da chronic wit 9 or 10 hot-ass bitches. I chill to my record “From Tha Chuuuch To Da Palace” and watch dem bitches freak my shiznit on the dance flo’.

mm0206 68F
7767 posts
8/4/2006 6:55 pm

you are so dang crazy...........
I need a interpreter

tender hugs

AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/5/2006 4:24 pm:
alright...since you asked for an interpriter, here is the passage Snoop responded to our elderly dear woman in Lubbock. Hope this helps.

Yo Lonely, (Dear lonely)

I hear ya, Oldschool Betty. (I know what you're saying, elder sweetheart) Snoop had plenty homies back in the day (I had a few friends in the past) who thanks to some fucked up gangsta shit (unfortunate gang activity) now kickin’ it wit da Bigg G-O- Double-Jizzle.(are with God now) You got yer 2-Pac, Easy-E, B.I.G, and ODB, (dead rappers)all ain’t here no mo’ Dawg. (not with us anymore, man) East Coast, West Coast (rivals in the world)…don’t matta, we all brothas (African-American males) and I miss ‘em. What I do when I’m missing dem hard hittin’ fools, I kick back and smoke da chronic (weed)wit 9 or 10 hot-ass bitches.(fine looking broads) I chill(relax) to my record “From Tha Chuuuch To Da Palace” and watch dem bitches freak my shiznit on the dance flo’. (and watch them get freaky on the dance floor to my own music.)

How did I do?

QueenofBitches69 46F

8/4/2006 6:56 pm

Dear Snoop Dogg,

I am a 36 year old woman who has not had sex for a whole month! (As of today.) My question is, can you go without sex so long that you forget how to do it? And how long without sex does it take for that hymen thingy to grow back, (so I am a virgin again)? And can you actually die from lack of sex?

P.S. Mr. Snoop, I have enclosed a picture, Do you think you can help me out with my problem?

Pouting in Paola

AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/5/2006 4:34 pm:
Whole month? Thats wac, Babydoll. You axing da wrong brotha, doh Baby. Snoop don't go an hour widout mackin' da booty, nevermind a month. Dat hymie shizzle growing back, I heard a docta say seven years, Dawg. But dat was Dr. Dre layin' dat shit on me and we all know he my nizzle and all but he ain't no real docta. Fo' shizzle.

moonlightphoenix 45F
6508 posts
8/4/2006 7:17 pm

Dear Snoop Dogg,

I'm a well known quantity on a certain adult oriented dating site. My pics are hot and my blog is hotter. Everyone wants a piece of me. My problem is that everyone keeps getting jealous and stealing my blog entries and posting them as their own. They attack me for being hot and tell me that my pictures are fake...nobody could possibly be that hot. I log in, and my blog is completely erased!! Someone seems to be hacking in to steal my profile and then go around posting bogus messages and emails, causing all sorts of trouble, and then when I login later, I've got people flaming me from one end of Blogville to another. can I convince these people that I'm really as hot as I say and that the pics are mine and the blog is mine and that I AM being hacked and someone's stalking me???

A Friendly Female

AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/5/2006 5:04 pm:
Yo friendly. Whats crackalackin', Baby? So you tellin' Snoop you got some bad shiznit going down on this here site? You a fine-ass bitch wit a smokin' hot blog and ain't nobody believe someone as fly as you can write like dat. You gots some small minded, insecure homies to blame fo' dat, Babydoll. Fo' whatever reason they wantin' attention and got nottin'. So they log on as some fine-ass bitch even though they nuttin' but some fat white dude in boxershorts and write all kinds of smokin' stories and shit. Also, truth be told, most fine-ass bitches only know how to cut n' paste some stupid shit from they email and just rely on they fly looks to get attention. Dat could be why fools be all up in yo' grill ain't believin' you write so dope. Know what I'm saying?

Somebody messin' wit yo' blog and shit? erasing, deleting and doing fucked up shit? Tell you what...Snoop (and Atomic)don't know who yer friends are so I ain't droppin' names here, Dawg. But there's a certain creepy dude. Got a bulbous head and bugged out eyes some fucked up crooked teeth, yo. Looks like an alien or a mental patient or some otha' wac shit. dat fool be tappin' into blogs erasing and deleting shit and be careful, Baby...if you put any money in dis you gotz da gold or silver blingbling like some do, watch yo' bank shit careful like...cuz if he tappin' yo' blog he could be tappin' dat shit, too. As sho' as I'm Snoop D-O-Double-Jizzle. Now don't say Snoop ain't tell you nuttin' important, aight.

WaterBabyRocks 58M

8/4/2006 8:41 pm

Dear Snoop Dogg,

Have you ever had the feeling that someone's sneaking a photo of you with their phone-camera? I'm almost certain I got snapped at close range in a crowded train today. No idea why. Putting together an album of weird, wacky, geeky and sexy foreigners perhaps?

Perfectly legal I suppose, unless you can somehow get your undies into the shot and have them arrested.

Are you cool with being photographed by strangers? The next time it happens, should I take the camera from them and snap it in half?

Bemused in Japan

AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/5/2006 5:21 pm:
Yo Bemused, I hear ya, dawg. I'm a world famous rapper. I can't take a shit or wind my watch widout somebody snappin' away wit they cameras an' shiznit. Back in the day, I was just some broke-ass brotha wit a criminal record livin' in da bad 'hoods of Compton, dawg. Now, I'm blown up got me a fine house, lots of blingbling and some fine-ass bitches always wantin' a piece of Snoop. Along wit dat comes fools wantin' to snap yo' picture. I just roll wit it, dawg cuz I can't fight it no mo'.

catseyes23 61F

8/4/2006 10:16 pm

Dear Snoop Dogg,

This summer vacation, I have been given the choice of going to Osaka for a week or doing what I please. I know what the summer is like there so I decided against it as I hate the heat. I've always wanted to climb Mt Fuji for quite some time now so I will give it a go this summer.
The motivation would be sunrise photo from the summit.

But A friend told me that going up is no great shakes and
getting down is apparantly crap.

"The whole mountain is covered in gravelly stuff - your feet slip and your knees scream but hey after you do get down unscathed, you can forget about that bit by remembering that you went to the top."


AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/5/2006 5:34 pm:
Yo Anxious. Whats crackalackin', BabyDoll? you asking da wrong brotha about dat. We all have our interests. Yo' got yo' mountain climbing an' sunrise pictures, I got my ,my cronic, my fly threadz, my blingbling, and dope-ass rides. But do what you want to do an' do it fo' da challenge, dawg. My life has been like a moutain climb, too...startin' as some broke-ass brotha livin' in da bad 'hoods of Compton. Now check me out. Rich as hell and a mackin' dope-ass rapper. Its been a challenge...and I overcome. Fo' shizzle.

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
8/4/2006 10:54 pm

M n M or Smarties or whatever they are called could kick your ass in a music contest today Snoopy...but you give good advice...

When I have sex with a new girl for the first time..should I try to rock her world so good she she thinks it can't get any better??...or should I try to be just good enough so she looks forward to an even better time on the next date?

AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/5/2006 5:44 pm:
Awww, why you gots to go and mention dat crazy whiteboy? dat shit is wac! Anyway, to answer yo' question, everytime da Snoop D-O-Double-Jizzle is mackin' on some fine-ass bitches its always her best most dope-ass time ever whether I'm workin' it good or just fallin' asleep from too much cronic...but dis is me we talkin' about. I mean...what bitch ain't want a piece o' dis?

cuteNEway 41F

8/4/2006 11:48 pm

How do you tell someone you'll miss them?

Hurting on the Hill of Richmond

AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/5/2006 5:48 pm:
Oh, babydoll, whats crackalackin'? Snoop s'pose to be a hard-ass gangsta mack and you makin' me tear up n shit. Come give Snoop D-O-Double-Jizzle a hug, sis. Now who you missin' baby?

Nina_Dee 61F

8/5/2006 12:43 am

Dear Snoop Dogg,

There is only one other thing that I am addicted to apart from surfing the internet looking for men in all their glory.

It's Jergen's hand lotion spread in the palm of my hand.

Sticky in Hampstead.

AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/5/2006 5:53 pm:
Yo addicted to jergen's lotion in yer palm? Now thats some wac, fucked up shiznit right there, dawg. it brings to mind dat creepy white dude from "Silence of da Lambs" and shit...It puts the lotion in the basket.

I got something dat almost like lotion, but better. also good fo' da skin. Fo' shizzle.

digdug41 49M

8/5/2006 4:43 am

In snoops voice Yo nephew thats tight on da real ya feel me

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/5/2006 5:55 pm:
yo, cuz! Whats crackalackin'? I feel ya, my brotha. I feel ya.

rm_Mandrake_M 61M

8/6/2006 2:31 am

Dear Snoop Dogg,

I'm having illusions about being God.

Yes, it's true.
It came to me in an LSD induced flash a few hours ago that I am God. I don't know what to do about these flashes that keep on wracking my brain.

Illusionating in my mind.

AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/9/2006 8:28 pm:
I feel ya, cuz. Rich and famous as I am...shit! I am the Bigg G-O-Double-Gizzle, son.

Nina_Dee 61F

8/6/2006 9:35 am

I thank you for your advice Snoop. Hey-you have someone lurking there...seems like she has ants in her pants poor woman! Goddam, dontcha just hate it when a woman talks like that? (Shit an all that. No culture these days)

Satisfied in Hampstead.

AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/9/2006 8:30 pm:
Its all good, baby. Snoop D-O-Double-Gizzle loves all da bitches.

rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
8/6/2006 6:05 pm

Dear Snoop,
My 13 year old son likes your music, and so do I. Which one of us should be more concerned?

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/9/2006 8:33 pm:
shit, baby...ain't nuttin' but a thing. From sho-tys to MILFs ain't nuttin' wrong wit kickin' it wit da D-O-Double-Gizzle.

mm0206 68F
7767 posts
8/6/2006 9:01 pm

Hi Snoop...

now that I understand ...I think... I do have a question..

I enjoy dancing... and love to watch all the nice girls and guys dance to your music...especially your dancers...

But one thing I just am having such a difficult time understanding...
Why does everyone keep grabbing their crotch... like their ben-wa's were about to fall out..???
help me here Snoop...

and I do dance like no one is watching...
oh..btw ya know those braids in your hair...
that looks so demented,
Are you trying to look like an Alien..
can we just make it look real

Take care...

AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/9/2006 8:37 pm:
grabbin' up on the junk? it let all da bitches know a brothas ready to get all freaky-deaky between da sheets. And dey come runnin', too. Believe me I know, as sho' as I'm Snoop D-O-Double-Jizzle. And da' braids? How else I'm s'pose to keep my hair outta my eyes, dawg?

skyking412004 53M
5363 posts
8/8/2006 4:53 pm

_____I heard you stopped doing drugs for awhile. Was that true? If you did get straight, what made you go crooked again? Life too hard, even as good as you've got it? /// What ever happened to the idea of being better? How come so many Wiggers are trying to live the "gangsta" lifestyle instead of overcoming the challenges that life throws at them? Have they given up? Anyone with half a brain has to know that you are an aberration, an "exception to the rule". /// What other part of the music industry do you know of where the "artists" are continuing "turf wars" and killing each other? ||| old fat white guy longing for a better world.

AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/9/2006 8:47 pm:
Yo Ol' Fat Whitey

Dawg, why you trippin'? That shit is wac, yaw. I know...not everybody can blow up like D-O-Double-Jizzle from nuttin'...but you can, doh, dawg...and dat gives a young sho'ty hope. We born into repression and poverty. You either stick wit it an let Da Man an' shit keep a brotha down...or you appeal to da streets, da kids...and blow up and overcome through music...and if it just so happen to be little white sho'tys buying my music...cha ching! Thanks for da blingbling, pops.

multitasksextoy 58M  
3511 posts
8/9/2006 7:01 am

Experimental? O.K. I believe you!!!

AtomicArtist0 replies on 8/9/2006 8:48 pm:
whats crackalackin' cuz?

rm_cumqueen0812 53F
57 posts
2/4/2008 9:39 am


AtomicArtist0 replies on 2/4/2008 5:31 pm:
what up babygirl?

rm_cumqueen0812 53F
57 posts
2/5/2008 9:14 pm

Moon over mammy's is what is really UP!

AtomicArtist0 replies on 2/5/2008 10:52 pm:
would you consider mooning me?

rm_cumqueen0812 53F
57 posts
2/8/2008 7:44 am

there is more than two eyefulls of my moon

AtomicArtist0 replies on 2/8/2008 12:58 pm:
anytime ya wanna show it off. I'm certain I can handle whatever you got. (smooch)

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