New Beginnings  

ArtsyLady1979 37F
5 posts
7/9/2005 10:09 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

New Beginnings


So, here i am starting this blog, ::lifts glass of wine:: here is a toast to new beginnings!

I've very recently left my husband and am starting fresh. I married him for many reasons, but not one of them was really the right one. He was not a very nice man, I thought he was more man and father(he has 2 kids from previous marriag) than he really was. He got what little money there was, took the other car, the one he got for me(it was in his name) and tried to keep all the stuff i'd actually moved in with... told me origionaly that if i was leaving it would be with only "the clothes on my back" I"ve since been living with my grandparents for the past 3 months or so, and have been able to buy a BRAND new car, through hard work and savings.

My sex life with my husband was origionaly very good...but went down hill after we married, it was like all of a sudden my pleasure wasn't important anymore, and neither were my fantasies or opinions on making love... after i helped him to enact his fantasies mine got kicked to the curb. He refused to even consider listening to my fantasies. He new a little bit about my submissive dendencies, but he refused to be any kind of willing to nurture or allow that part of me freedom of expression. I found out he had on occasion tied other partner up... I asked him to do the same to me, his response.. "you just look to innocent to do that to." ::snort:: isn't that part of the point? There were many times over this past year that sex was even a bit painfull at first because he wouldn't have "the time" to make sure i was ready for it first. It felt like anyone would have served the purpose, the fact that i was married to him and available for a morning blow job or fuck was just a convenience and saved him the extra effort of looking for a partner to please first and then taking his pleasure.

::shrugs::

granted i have my faults as much as the next person, I can be selfish and i'm a bit of an oblivious air head at times...I constantly forget where i put things, and i'm not the neatest person in the world. I'm not always a good listener, though i've gotten better at that with conscious effort. But he wasn't willing to admit ANY fault at all!... everything was always my fault... I always made him miserable, if i just did what he told me to do he wouldn't yell at me all the time. What am i? a child? I'll do the laundry, vacumming, house work when i'm ready, and not so tired from waitress work, getting your kids off to school properly, making sure YOU wake up on time,picking the kids UP from the bus stop and getting some sleep in the process! ::sighs::

Well, now that i'm done with all that nonsense i can just be me again and look for someone to help me get in touch with the sensual side to myself again. So, i guess i'll just see how this whole thing works out.

kinky_fun_for1 44M
1 post
7/17/2005 9:49 pm

I give you a lot of credit. Sometimes we must draw a line in the sand and decide on which side we wish to stand. It sounds as if your decision has made you happier. People will see you for who you are and in turn you will see yourself as a better person. Regarding the faults, it is time to put those behind you. Good luck.


arasbest 36M
49 posts
7/24/2005 12:20 am

she is a nice girl and she deserves better life...


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