How To Roast On The Texan Road  

AmberSolaire 42M
2630 posts
10/10/2005 6:58 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

How To Roast On The Texan Road

First of all you need one prime piece of texan beef.You can tell it is Texan by the extra lining of man fat around the stomach area and the strange noises it makes when mating.If you are having difficulty ask your butcher.

Then tenderise for a couple of days before you intend to hold your roast, and marinade in a spicy salsa made from womenlooking4fun, barbiebunny and tillerbabe.

When the time comes for cooking please ensure all gases are removed from the animal to prevent a texas massacre due to exploding bonfire beef.This is best done with the aid of a gas mask and biochemical suit as Texans are renowned for putting anything in their mouths and have a weaker digestive system then a hienz baked bean tester........

For best results do not refrigerate as this may lead to shrinkage of the juiciest parts and make the meal tougher then it should be.Please also remove the leather.This is called texan clothing and is not intended for human consumption.

Then remove from the marinade and shout "look beef jerky whilst pointing at the ground."

As your choosen piece of Texan beef bends take your pre greased 7 foot BBQ Skewer and insert in a smooth motion into the rectum.This should cause the reflex reaction of the mouth to open and your marinated manmeat to relax into an almost comma like state of ecstasy.

Then grab both ends of the skewer and place over the burning pitfires of blogland and let Sizzle until the meat is moist and succulent.

Serve on platter with plenty of beans and a healthy sense of humour....

For further roasting TravelinginTexas recipe advice please head to womenlooking4fun

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
10/10/2005 9:13 pm

Thats making me hungry, give me a big ol slice of Texas sweetmeat, please.

cajunpet 70M
1185 posts
10/10/2005 10:20 pm

Great recipe, AS!

Keep them comming.

Take care.
Keep On Blogging!!!! Have a great day.

Cajun Pet

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
10/11/2005 7:51 am

Simply reading this recipie has made me ill...

rockwriter58 56M
1389 posts
10/11/2005 2:19 pm

Very good, but if the The Cook is too upset to try the recipe, how will we ever know if this works?


raptor880 39M

10/11/2005 3:02 pm

LMAO needs a bit a mas special ole BBQ blow your bits off sauce I think.Is it free or do we pay per portion.

tillerbabe 55F

10/11/2005 8:51 pm

...Like I said before......
"Can I have the "juiciest", "crunchiest" part?...the baby arm????"

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/12/2005 5:27 am

LMAO...great post!

AmberSolaire 42M

10/12/2005 3:46 pm

Gets out his electric carving knife and passes round the choicest cuts.Never fear ladies theres plenty of Texas to go round so no thats not a chipolata!

Dont think it matters if we have one cook down rocky this appears well and truely to be a group effort.

I do love a nice BBQ

BTW trav I thought that would be the bit you enjoyed most or hasnt Sizzle trained you up yet.LMAO

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