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Opening My Eyes To Love
Opening My Eyes To Love
You know I was not even aware that I loved her. It was not like when I was young and lusty and fell in love with the first pretty ass I saw. This was different, it creped up on me. I think it creped up on us.
We have been friends for years. I knew her family and all the hell she had gone though with her ex. I always thought she deserved better, but I really never thought of myself as “better”. I had my stuff, my non- communication issues, and my eccentricities. So I never considered myself as better. But she knew me and never really seemed to be bothered about all the things others seemed to be bothered about. Maybe it was because we grew up together and played house together.
I could never understand why her ex’s were bothered by some of the things they were bothered about. It really made no sense. So she did not like going to parties and hanging at bars. So she liked lectures and boring stuff. That was Anna. How could you say you loved Anna, but wanted her to love parties?
I realized I loved her after we went to a poetry reading at the Waterfront Café. Nothing special. We often did that. Mainly to relax and since I was the only one who would go, I was always the one asked.
We went back to my place for some Bajan Cherry juice, some wine and a little Nora. I had the juice, she had the wine. We always did that just to talk for a bit, before she went home. But somehow tonight was a little different. I felt it even in the way we related to each other. We seem to touched more than usual and giggled like kids. We have always been like this, but tonight there was something strange in the air.
She looked way too good in that dress she was wearing. Good enough to _______. Okay. Okay stop it. This was Anna, your friend of 28 years.
She should not smile like that, not with the moonlight shining behind her head like it was. As I came towards here with the bottle of wine for a refill, she gently touched my upper arm so softly. Hmmmm. Okay now she has to be doing this on purpose. I looked into her eyes, with a quizzical look. Wondering whether or not she knew what she was doing to me. She did not break eye contact. Hmm. I looked away and shock my head.
“ What are you up to Anna?”
“Pardon me?” She said looking at me.
“ I asked what are you up to?”
She smiled and came a little closer. “ I think you know exactly what I am UP to.” She hissed in my ears.
That did it for me. I held her away from me by her upper arms and without another word I……
Formally a Bfemme post. Posting under my new name.